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    Failed again!!!

    I seem to keep falling off the wagon all the time lately!! Not been AF free for a while now and getting through at least 1 bottle of wine every night!! Im paranoid thinking my skins turning yellow. Now sure how long that will take to kick in. I have been good in the past and been AF for 4 years then started again when dad died then been on and off since but its got worse lately and i cant seem to kick it!! I manage during the week to keep it till night time but the weekends are worse and drinking all day basically. I need some help and advice and im scared i will get jaundiced pretty soon then everyone will know

    #2
    Failed again!!!

    You are probably not going to like this.... They know. I am not one to preach. I drank myself silly yesterday. You get the book, get the supplements, get the CDs, exercise, and then get whatever else is necessary. Be it kudzu, topa, ccampral whatever. I will tell you this. I fell flat on my face yesterday and people here held me up until the store closed. I think it is the discipline that I am lacking at the moment. I know I have it in me. Thank goodness there were about 10 people to remind me of that yesterday. So... that's what you do. You CAN do it! Plenty of people here wanting to help you!
    sigpic
    Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

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      #3
      Failed again!!!

      I just don't know why that happens. I can do so great and then off the wagon.
      Just know this, there are a lot of things that can cause liver damage, the least of it being alcohol.
      My hubby doesn't drink but he has to have his liver checked because he's on lipotor for high cholesterol. Now let me ask you this, why doesn't he change his diet to bring his cholesterol down, get off the drug and save his liver? Do you think he's paranoid that he maybe turning yellow? nope...
      Sunny Out Looks are Contagious!

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        #4
        Failed again!!!

        Hi Juney,

        I am sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time. The good news is that you have proven to yourself that you can go af in the past, so you CAN do it again. You have to get your mind in the right place again. You should go and get blood work done to determine if there really is a problem. I wish you all the strength you are needing right now.

        Miso :heart:

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          #5
          Failed again!!!

          Hi Juney,

          I understand how you feel -- I too was sober for several years and then fell back thinking that this time i would be different. Right now I am a binge drinker who has 3 days sober. The one thing that I do take comfort from is knowing that I once did sober up. I sort of believe that if i could just get enough time under my belt -- AF -- that I will want to never pick up another drink. I pick up a drink when I lull myself into believing that it won't capture me again -- and it does. Every time. I think that we have to believe that one day soon we will find a way out, if only we keep working at it. Good luck, God bless.
          Matt

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            #6
            Failed again!!!

            Oh youse guys, this thread has not been encouraging reading so far. Sometimes I think that there really is NO Way Out, just different ways to get around it. Sort of like "nobody gets off this planet alive" Take a space shuttle to the Moon and you still have to return to Earth.
            So, let's pull up our undies once more and keep riding....to paraphrase:H)
            We are all, unusually bright, attractive and very talented people (so the stats say) So, why such pain? I'm not preaching, I am asking?? Love you, g.

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              #7
              Failed again!!!

              feel your pain

              gg,

              funny, but reading that others are struggling but still trying - or at least wanting - to get to the other side of the mountain (AF) - helps me tremendously for some reason.

              i am 3 days AF, not because i'm wanting it, although i do, but because i mucked up big time last week, and there's gonna be hell to pay. i'm staying as healthy as possible to handle it. trying to hang on. i know if i was dk or hungover, my coping skills would be shot. i daydream about having a few drinks, but don't. although i feel like a lost lover in some ways, i'm healthy, alert, can think, can follow through with thoughts...all kind of odd. kind of nice. i am reminded of what being w/o chemicals is like and .....it's okay. why have i been doing that to myself?

              the age-old question, no?

              Juney - i feel your pain. one thing I have done was just to shut down the opportunity. Iicome home (nite time is THE time), and make myself do some chores that need to be done. i have also promised myself a drink only if i go for a run, or only after say, 10pm. if i make it to then, i take a melatonin and go to sleep. it has actually worked a time or two.

              being 3 days AF is interesting in that I went to a party last night and a lot of the people were intoxicated. they smelled terrible (breathwise). i wondered have i smelled like that? so not attractive. kinda made me think.

              anyway, girl, hang in there. keep wanting it. keep trying. everyone who is successful kept trying until it stuck. take care!

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                #8
                Failed again!!!

                gelgit;317613 wrote: Oh youse guys, this thread has not been encouraging reading so far. Sometimes I think that there really is NO Way Out, just different ways to get around it. Sort of like "nobody gets off this planet alive" Take a space shuttle to the Moon and you still have to return to Earth.
                So, let's pull up our undies once more and keep riding....to paraphrase:H)
                We are all, unusually bright, attractive and very talented people (so the stats say) So, why such pain? I'm not preaching, I am asking?? Love you, g.
                Most of alcoholism is not encouraging. There is a way out we all just need to take it

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