small victories!

[keeta]

Good morning all!

Haven't been posting much, as I have kinda been on a roller coaster of bad (drinking) behaviour.
That being said, last night after supper,(the entire day being AF to that point) my hubby brought two beers out, opened mine, and I promptly slid it across the coffee table towards his side, and said, "I don't want it"....and I really really DIDN'T!!!!! That is the niftiest part of all.

I feel really good about that! There is hope for me yet!

Hope everyone has a super Monday!

:h:l

A very happy Keeta!

[brittzak]

small victories!

Keeta, good for u! Keep it up...............keep on keeping on!

[Chief]

small victories!

Hi Keeta....nice to see you....

Of course there's hope for you.....just have to decide what you want to do..

We're all here for you....glad you're back...

Don

[tlrgs]

small victories!

great job.. the smallest ones allways make the biggest impact.peace and god bless

[Thankful]

small victories!

Keeta, that's great. Small victories indeed!!

Good for you! Stay strong girl.

Love, Me
:l

[Guest]

small victories!

Very well done. Good for you!

[Accountable for Me]

small victories!

keeta - well done! and.... of course there is hope for you! A victory, no matter how small, is a victory. They add up in the grand scheme of things! Way to go!

[keeta]

small victories!

LUV....I am definately going to try to keep on girl! You, by the way, I am proud of! *HUGS*

Chief....Thank you!...I guess the "hopeless" feeling comes from repeating the same stupid drinking pattern, and expecting to wake up with different results!. You begin to feel hopeless...it is a very bad spot to be...especially when it is self inflicted. I mean...shit...how dumb am I to keep drinking when I know full well what the hell I am doing to myself???? Answer: (sorry...anyone offended by cursing skip my answer) I am pretty fucking dumb!

Mind you this is not self pity, or even self flagellation (sp???), it is simply the truth...I am dumb...dense (not lacking intellegence) if I know this is killing me and my hope for a great life...but still crack a beer.
BUT....(wooo...sorry, got off on a tangent there)...last night I didn't...and I really didn't want to...which was a great feeling, that carried through a sober sleep to this morning. I don't get many moments lately where I think...wow...good job...I am proud of myself. This was one!

tlrgs...I agree...this was really a small little victory considering the amount of this swill I dump down my gullet, but dammit, I can't believe how good I feel. Maybe the time for me to shine is coming! God bless you too!

Thankful...thank you Every little victory makes me feel *that* much stronger, *that* much more hopeful!

Gia...thank you! I feel pretty darn good. Kind of like the first sunny day after two weeks of rainy dark weather...like a weight is lifted.

AFM...little victories...they DO add up! I feel like the little engine that could today..."I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...." :H

thank you for all your encouraging words. They mean a lot to me.

[matthen]

small victories!

Keeta -- you describe the horror of repeating the same behavior over and over and over and losing hope. I think I was there for too long and now have a spark of hope. You describe it so well! You are right to be proud of saying NO. That is a huge start and it would definitely give me hope too. Run for the Roses, go!

[out]

small victories!

Not dumb

Keeta, you are not dumb, just compulsive/impulsive as most of us are here. Intelligence has little to do with compulsions driven by our reptilian brains. You made an good choice to turn down the beer be proud of that moment...ANY positive change my dearest.

[keeta]

small victories!

out....

that one split second of my life, I made the right choice...now just a few million more....:H

[out]

small victories!

keeta

You and me both sista! That will mean 2 million between us.

[greeneyes]

small victories!

Keeta that's great. That's how I felt in the Mexican resto where the imported beer was on ice and I had tea. You feel really proud. Think to yourself, alright, I CAN do this. And it is a victory and every single one is important!

[matthen]

small victories!

...........and the good thing is that we all get to make those million right decisions, one at a time, one day at a time. Well then, not sure why I have gotten so many of them wrong. But for the moment the only decision that is critical .......is whether I pick up a drink or not. Making it a decision as opposed to a non-decision compulsion is the essence of what we are coping about. God bless and let us know how you are doing. I am on day 4 after a particularly nasty vodka binge (as opposed to my usual wine binge, or beer).