Ok, this one is for all the people on here who want to know if this site ?works.? Here?s my story so far. I am a 54 year old, happily married, father of three, grandfather of two. Ideal life?except.
Please be patient as I lay down some background. I have had a drinking problem for many, many years. Several times in my 30+ years of marriage, my wife has asked that I stop or cut down my drinking. I always promised I would, and like many here, did not do anything that worked for any extended period of time. Like many others, I have plenty of ?reasons? to drink?an abused childhood, missing father, poverty as a child, same list as many of you. We lost our middle child to cancer, a very sudden death, 12 years ago, when he was 16. I had a high pressure job, going somewhere fast, right into an emergency room with a stroke. The company let me go because I missed work when our son died. My current work is pretty pressured, I run a (now-profitable) manufacturing company, with all the responsibility and little of the ?reward.? Then, last July, I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Removal was the option chosen. Yes, all the ?reasons? a man could claim for wanting a drink.
But, let?s be honest..no one forced me to drink. I volunteered. Big mistake.
Fast forward, now. January 8 2008. I had found this site when doing job-related research last summer regarding addiction for drugs and alcohol. For some reason, I remembered the site and started to read a lot of the threads here in late December 2007 and January 2008. I had been pretty much on a nightly drinking binge for most of December and the first part of January. (In reality, I had been drinking like this for many years) Two or three bottles of wine, or way too many martinis each night. I could not remember the next morning what I had said or done. My wife had put up with my habit, but I had a feeling she was not very happy with me. My work was starting to suffer as I could see, and I was frightened for my job, and frankly, for my life. I was not in control of me any more.
That night, January 8, 2008, I asked my wife to come into our office with to discuss some business. I sat her down and said, ?Dear, I have a drinking problem. You know this. You have been very patient, and you have asked me many times to do something about it, and I have always made a promise that I have then broken. I have no reason for you to think this is going to be any different, but I want you to see what I have found, and listen to me for a little bit more.? I showed her this site, had her read some of the threads and posts. I then told her I was done drinking. I also told her I did not expect her to believe my words, but to watch for the results. I quit that night.
It was not easy. In fact, it was very hard at the time. I had only 6 more days before my cancer surgery. I really wanted to drink, really drink myself into not worrying about the surgery. There was still liquor and wine in our house. Our lifestyle puts us out with clients and friends who are drinking. I simply said that I was getting ready for surgery and did not want any alcohol in my system to interfere or mix with the anesthetic. Most of my clients, business partners and friends seemed to accept this well, as did our children. I was having, as you may have experienced, the inability to sleep, the shakes, the chills, and the cravings. As I had decided to do this on if you will the ?spur of the moment? I did not have the foresight to order supplements or any medications to assist me in my battle.
By the end of the third day, I was a mess, to put it gently. I got online, in the chat room, and someone I did not know was very kind to me. She had me go to a private chat, and she talked to me, kept me online and away from the bottle, all night. Finally at about 3 AM I said I was done and went to bed. She will always have a special place in my ?MWO friends list.? Later, I found out she had not had any sleep at all that night, sitting up with some guy that wanted to get a drink. I missed work the next day, I could not get up and to go work. For the first time in I do not know how many years, I was as close to sober as I could be. I began to feel somewhat better about the BHOG.
About this time, my wife began to tell me she could see a difference, and that she was very proud of me.
After my surgery, I was online here every day while recovering. As I came out from under the dr-administered drugs, I began to want to drink..but I stayed on this site, all day if I needed to, talking, reading, posting, chatting..anything to keep ALice out of my life. (Some people call it AL, ok, I?m a guy so it is ALice, and she is one nasty bitch!) One day led to another..and another. I went to my personal dr, and we talked about alcohol; he was very surprised as to how much I had been drinking. He reviewed my medical records from the hospital stay, which showed no liver damage, thankfully. I explained how much I had been drinking. (Mrs. BHOG was with me, to make sure she understood this completely.) I took information from this site, which my dr reviewed and said, ok, if you want it, I will prescribe Campral for other reasons. ?But, I really don?t think you need it; I think you can do this without the drugs. But if you want the medication, call me and I?ll fax it to the pharmacy.? I never had him send the fax. Mrs BHOG and I went to dinner that night, a private club we belong to and at which we are pretty well known. The waitress came over, and asked if we wanted our ?regular? first cocktail. I said, no, cranberry juice and soda, she says, not drinking tonight? I said yes, she says OK. And took wife?s order. Wife also had wine with her dinner. No problem for me. We finished dinner, desert, and we were out in the car, I said, ?Wow. I normally would have had two drinks with appetizers, we would have split 2-3 bottles of wine, and an after dinner drink..nothing tonight. And then I would have driven home.? Wife said, I am so proud of you. You have done this..? It was a great night!
I thought I had this thing licked. Good job BHOG! YEAH.
Feb 5th, critical primary election night in USA. My wife asked if I wanted a glass of wine, I said yes. Now let?s be perfectly honest here. She did not ?tempt? or ?force? me to drink, I said yes. My bad, not hers. Two glasses, and I was feeling it. I went to bed. Ok, lesson learned..or was it. Valentines day, I cooked a special dinner for her (I am the cook in our house, get over it) And I opened a bottle of wine for her..and poured myself a glass. Then another. I got very upset with myself. My wife kept trying to tell me to not be so hard on myself, but I was very upset. Ok, BHOG, get it right from now on.
Our son was married on January 1, 2008, in a small private ceremony. We had a public open house on March 1 for he and his wife; at the end of the evening, a toast was offered and I was given the privilege of pronouncing the toast. I had about a half glass of champagne.
That was it. So, since January 8 2008, as of today, I have been A/F a total of 108 days.
Easy, NO! worth it? ABSOLUTELY. Could I have done it any other way? I doubt it.
Am I glad I have done this? OH, YES! I am now sober, I now have my life, I now am cancer free and A/F!!! My job is much better, my children are happier (my son has confided in me that he was glad I had gotten my drinking under control), and I am very thankful for RJ, her site, and all the friends that have worked so hard to help me reach this point. I am also very grateful for my spouse, she has been a wonderful support for me in my journey.
There are many MWO friends who helped me reach this point, for reasons of privacy, I have elected not to name any one in particular. I thank all of you who see your PM?s and support in this story!
BHOG
Please be patient as I lay down some background. I have had a drinking problem for many, many years. Several times in my 30+ years of marriage, my wife has asked that I stop or cut down my drinking. I always promised I would, and like many here, did not do anything that worked for any extended period of time. Like many others, I have plenty of ?reasons? to drink?an abused childhood, missing father, poverty as a child, same list as many of you. We lost our middle child to cancer, a very sudden death, 12 years ago, when he was 16. I had a high pressure job, going somewhere fast, right into an emergency room with a stroke. The company let me go because I missed work when our son died. My current work is pretty pressured, I run a (now-profitable) manufacturing company, with all the responsibility and little of the ?reward.? Then, last July, I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Removal was the option chosen. Yes, all the ?reasons? a man could claim for wanting a drink.
But, let?s be honest..no one forced me to drink. I volunteered. Big mistake.
Fast forward, now. January 8 2008. I had found this site when doing job-related research last summer regarding addiction for drugs and alcohol. For some reason, I remembered the site and started to read a lot of the threads here in late December 2007 and January 2008. I had been pretty much on a nightly drinking binge for most of December and the first part of January. (In reality, I had been drinking like this for many years) Two or three bottles of wine, or way too many martinis each night. I could not remember the next morning what I had said or done. My wife had put up with my habit, but I had a feeling she was not very happy with me. My work was starting to suffer as I could see, and I was frightened for my job, and frankly, for my life. I was not in control of me any more.
That night, January 8, 2008, I asked my wife to come into our office with to discuss some business. I sat her down and said, ?Dear, I have a drinking problem. You know this. You have been very patient, and you have asked me many times to do something about it, and I have always made a promise that I have then broken. I have no reason for you to think this is going to be any different, but I want you to see what I have found, and listen to me for a little bit more.? I showed her this site, had her read some of the threads and posts. I then told her I was done drinking. I also told her I did not expect her to believe my words, but to watch for the results. I quit that night.
It was not easy. In fact, it was very hard at the time. I had only 6 more days before my cancer surgery. I really wanted to drink, really drink myself into not worrying about the surgery. There was still liquor and wine in our house. Our lifestyle puts us out with clients and friends who are drinking. I simply said that I was getting ready for surgery and did not want any alcohol in my system to interfere or mix with the anesthetic. Most of my clients, business partners and friends seemed to accept this well, as did our children. I was having, as you may have experienced, the inability to sleep, the shakes, the chills, and the cravings. As I had decided to do this on if you will the ?spur of the moment? I did not have the foresight to order supplements or any medications to assist me in my battle.
By the end of the third day, I was a mess, to put it gently. I got online, in the chat room, and someone I did not know was very kind to me. She had me go to a private chat, and she talked to me, kept me online and away from the bottle, all night. Finally at about 3 AM I said I was done and went to bed. She will always have a special place in my ?MWO friends list.? Later, I found out she had not had any sleep at all that night, sitting up with some guy that wanted to get a drink. I missed work the next day, I could not get up and to go work. For the first time in I do not know how many years, I was as close to sober as I could be. I began to feel somewhat better about the BHOG.
About this time, my wife began to tell me she could see a difference, and that she was very proud of me.
After my surgery, I was online here every day while recovering. As I came out from under the dr-administered drugs, I began to want to drink..but I stayed on this site, all day if I needed to, talking, reading, posting, chatting..anything to keep ALice out of my life. (Some people call it AL, ok, I?m a guy so it is ALice, and she is one nasty bitch!) One day led to another..and another. I went to my personal dr, and we talked about alcohol; he was very surprised as to how much I had been drinking. He reviewed my medical records from the hospital stay, which showed no liver damage, thankfully. I explained how much I had been drinking. (Mrs. BHOG was with me, to make sure she understood this completely.) I took information from this site, which my dr reviewed and said, ok, if you want it, I will prescribe Campral for other reasons. ?But, I really don?t think you need it; I think you can do this without the drugs. But if you want the medication, call me and I?ll fax it to the pharmacy.? I never had him send the fax. Mrs BHOG and I went to dinner that night, a private club we belong to and at which we are pretty well known. The waitress came over, and asked if we wanted our ?regular? first cocktail. I said, no, cranberry juice and soda, she says, not drinking tonight? I said yes, she says OK. And took wife?s order. Wife also had wine with her dinner. No problem for me. We finished dinner, desert, and we were out in the car, I said, ?Wow. I normally would have had two drinks with appetizers, we would have split 2-3 bottles of wine, and an after dinner drink..nothing tonight. And then I would have driven home.? Wife said, I am so proud of you. You have done this..? It was a great night!
I thought I had this thing licked. Good job BHOG! YEAH.
Feb 5th, critical primary election night in USA. My wife asked if I wanted a glass of wine, I said yes. Now let?s be perfectly honest here. She did not ?tempt? or ?force? me to drink, I said yes. My bad, not hers. Two glasses, and I was feeling it. I went to bed. Ok, lesson learned..or was it. Valentines day, I cooked a special dinner for her (I am the cook in our house, get over it) And I opened a bottle of wine for her..and poured myself a glass. Then another. I got very upset with myself. My wife kept trying to tell me to not be so hard on myself, but I was very upset. Ok, BHOG, get it right from now on.
Our son was married on January 1, 2008, in a small private ceremony. We had a public open house on March 1 for he and his wife; at the end of the evening, a toast was offered and I was given the privilege of pronouncing the toast. I had about a half glass of champagne.
That was it. So, since January 8 2008, as of today, I have been A/F a total of 108 days.
Easy, NO! worth it? ABSOLUTELY. Could I have done it any other way? I doubt it.
Am I glad I have done this? OH, YES! I am now sober, I now have my life, I now am cancer free and A/F!!! My job is much better, my children are happier (my son has confided in me that he was glad I had gotten my drinking under control), and I am very thankful for RJ, her site, and all the friends that have worked so hard to help me reach this point. I am also very grateful for my spouse, she has been a wonderful support for me in my journey.
There are many MWO friends who helped me reach this point, for reasons of privacy, I have elected not to name any one in particular. I thank all of you who see your PM?s and support in this story!
BHOG
c: :heart:
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