Welcome to ODAT land. The only thing that works for me! Does what it says on the tin.
Got given a bottle of rose wine yesterday as a thank you by a friend. BMWO (Before My Way Out) I would that thought "Goodie, how can I get to drink most of that to myself and one bottle just won't be enough" Yesterday I just thought "Bugger, I really don't want that - how can I get rid of it without drinking it?"
I cooked a nice piece of beef and hubby wanted to go out and get a bottle of red to go with it. I didn't really want him to as staying AF would have been easier, cleaner somehow and I was quite stressed and I know that is one of my big triggers but he bought it and I shared it with him. For those of you who think I should have stuck to my guns and stayed AF maybe I should but I know how my mind works and I would have felt denial in some measure and that denial would have built up until it blew and caused a binge. So better for me to indulge in moderation and head off the denial.
I waited for the little voices that said "What can we drink next?" ready to fight them back but they didn't come at all. And they certainly would have done BMWO. I slept well and I'm up early and I feel good about being able to mod. But today, different to BMWO, I don't want to drink again tonight, moderately or otherwise, I WANT to be AF again. I've had my drink. That was fine. Now let me get on with not drinking. Interesting how your mind is re-trained. I like it. The bad effect that alcohol has on my sub conscious is getting more controllable as time goes by but only by constantly working at it and being vigilant and learning the lessons. So keep looking over your shoulder - ODAT!!
Love and hugs to all. :l
Bessie xx
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