I suppose this was inspired in part by BHOG's success story. This won't be especially inspirational but it might just help any new people see the wood for the trees if you are struggling.
I spend more time thinking about drinking now than I ever did before I came across this site in October last year. That might sound a move in the wrong direction but the thoughts are all about my relationship with alcohol, how I can improve, what tools I need to be using, my strategy for the day whereas before, well you can imagine, they were about guilt, self doubt, despair, regret, then 'oh what the hell, let's open another bottle'.
So there may be much more time spent but it is far, far less self destructive.
And I haven't managed a particularly long run of AF days either. Certainly not anywhere near 30. And I still have had some binge days - my ?? entries in the drink tracker when I have drunk so much I have lost count. And some days I have really struggled, others have been easy. This is all about being a work in progress. About thinking hard every day and working at it. I am aware that my brain is already reacting differently to thoughts about alcohol. I really enjoy my days without a drink and the quiet satisfaction it affords me is a real pleasure. The more of them the more enjoyable.
I suppose I think about it now like being on a successful long term diet. Sure, you can lose weight in a very short space of time with a hell of a lot of willpower/magic powders/pills/intensive exercise but to keep the weight off long term you need to relearn your eating habits, train your stomach to accept smaller portions and establish some healthy eating patterns that will see you losing and keeping the weight off.
It is not through laziness that I haven't changed 'My Mood' for a long time. Learning is exactly what I am doing all the time with this process. Don't expect any short term fixes, expect to work hard at it, don't beat yourself up over every 'slip' or 'failure'. Nothing will be gained by that except negative thoughts. Just keep on working. Accept that it is part of the process and that if you stay with it those slips will get less and less and you will learn more and more and feel happier and more satisfied. Drinking less/not drinking at all won't change all the problems in your life but it sure as hell will make the ones you do have more manageable and it will probably surprise you the changes that will occur that you didn't think had anything at all to do with it.
The place I am in now with alcohol is a far better one than I was in when I first came on these boards. Even better than as little time ago as a few weeks. Everyone can do it but give yourself the time you need and learn from each step.
Waffle over. If this has just given one new person a bit of food for thought/encouragement then it will have been worth it.
Bessiexx
I spend more time thinking about drinking now than I ever did before I came across this site in October last year. That might sound a move in the wrong direction but the thoughts are all about my relationship with alcohol, how I can improve, what tools I need to be using, my strategy for the day whereas before, well you can imagine, they were about guilt, self doubt, despair, regret, then 'oh what the hell, let's open another bottle'.
So there may be much more time spent but it is far, far less self destructive.
And I haven't managed a particularly long run of AF days either. Certainly not anywhere near 30. And I still have had some binge days - my ?? entries in the drink tracker when I have drunk so much I have lost count. And some days I have really struggled, others have been easy. This is all about being a work in progress. About thinking hard every day and working at it. I am aware that my brain is already reacting differently to thoughts about alcohol. I really enjoy my days without a drink and the quiet satisfaction it affords me is a real pleasure. The more of them the more enjoyable.
I suppose I think about it now like being on a successful long term diet. Sure, you can lose weight in a very short space of time with a hell of a lot of willpower/magic powders/pills/intensive exercise but to keep the weight off long term you need to relearn your eating habits, train your stomach to accept smaller portions and establish some healthy eating patterns that will see you losing and keeping the weight off.
It is not through laziness that I haven't changed 'My Mood' for a long time. Learning is exactly what I am doing all the time with this process. Don't expect any short term fixes, expect to work hard at it, don't beat yourself up over every 'slip' or 'failure'. Nothing will be gained by that except negative thoughts. Just keep on working. Accept that it is part of the process and that if you stay with it those slips will get less and less and you will learn more and more and feel happier and more satisfied. Drinking less/not drinking at all won't change all the problems in your life but it sure as hell will make the ones you do have more manageable and it will probably surprise you the changes that will occur that you didn't think had anything at all to do with it.
The place I am in now with alcohol is a far better one than I was in when I first came on these boards. Even better than as little time ago as a few weeks. Everyone can do it but give yourself the time you need and learn from each step.
Waffle over. If this has just given one new person a bit of food for thought/encouragement then it will have been worth it.
Bessiexx
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