ALCOHOL FREE or MODERATON?? WHICH?

[lausibel]

After reading more thread, i am confused as to whether to actually try and moderate my drinking. I am a binge drinker, every 2nd nite drink to black out and now am doing it alone rather than going out with friends? Can i control it or i am at the point that i can't, and need to guzzle it down. I have been drinking like this for 10 years?

Your advise would be good!! :thanks:

[Accountable for Me]

ALCOHOL FREE or MODERATON?? WHICH?

lausibel, why not try for 30 days AF and see how you feel then? I am/was a binge drinker too. I would drink myself to the point of black out for the most part of the last decade, excluding a pregnancy.

I dabbled with the idea of 'moderation'. After trying a couple of times I realized I was just kidding myself. Looking back now, I was merely looking for a reason to drink and tried to prove myself wrong that I could, indeed, drink responsibly. My attempts to moderate were just an excuse to drink. I am not saying this is you; it was me.

Please don't take this as a 'you can't do the moderation' post. You can always try it and see how that works for you. Binge drinkers have a very low chance of moderating, I believe. Not to mention, it is exhausting! The whole wondering if you 'should' drink tonight and 'how much'. I, personally, have better things to do with my time than dwell on the whole controlling the drink thing now. (as I laugh, because I do spend a great deal of time on here - but it helps)

Back to the 30 days AF thing. It is highly recommended for any problem drinker. This will give you clarity and will help you reach future goals of whatever you decide to do.

I went over 5 months last year completely AF, then dabbled with the whole moderation thing. I then allowed myself to have a few drinks every few weeks..... I ended up back on that slippery slope and have decided that for me, it won't work. But, that is me.... I am soooooo much happier, free, and content, being sober.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

[Peanut]

ALCOHOL FREE or MODERATON?? WHICH?

AF May?

Hi Lausibel,

I used to be like you, binge drinking every other night. But the last couple years, it has been every night. I did go AF last night, but still am not sure, and still very scared. I also really want to moderate, but like everybody says, it might be a good idea to go AF for at least a while. That is my plan anyway, although I am worried about a couple upcoming events, but I am trying to prepare for those. I am by no means an expert on this subject, being a newbie to this an all, but if you want to do an AF May - let's try do it???

Peanut

[Croft]

ALCOHOL FREE or MODERATON?? WHICH?

I believe that everyone has to find their own way. There is a lot of folks who believe that a drastic length of time AF is the first step no matter what your ultimate path is.

My ultimate goal is moderation. I have not had a successfull, drastic length of AF time yet. But I am getting closer to my goal.

If you all do an AF May thread - I will be on there cheering you on!!!!! I am going to be ODAT girl in May.

[Bambi]

ALCOHOL FREE or MODERATON?? WHICH?

Lausibel,
Moderation VS AF is and always has been a personal decision here. Some can moderate and others cannot. You will need to step back and decide what moderation would be for you: 1 to 2 nights a week, 1 - 2 drinks per drinking night.....and once you have the set plan you would need to be willing to stick to it. That is moderation. You can fill in the "how many nights and how many drinks per night" just keep it and stick to it. Granted a 6 pack would most likely not be moderation, lol.

Sometimes it is much harder to moderate because you are always planning on the next drink! In that case AF is the way to go because you know drinking is not an option.

Like others said it is recommended to have a good 14 to 30 day AF under your belt before you do try and moderate but ultimately the decision is yours.

Best Wishes on which ever you decide!
Hugs, Bambi

[on my way]

ALCOHOL FREE or MODERATON?? WHICH?

Lausi,

I agree with accountable. Go for 30 days and see how you feel. I know when I started my 30 days...after a few slips and starting again, I felt physically better. Took about 2 weeks and I looked better too. Lost about 14 pounds without trying. To Mod or Ab is a personal choice. Mine is to Ab, I can't stop once I start. I have a great need for inner peace, for me that need to be done sober.

On my way

[matthen]

ALCOHOL FREE or MODERATON?? WHICH?

Hey all some excellent advice being offered here. Bambi makes a point that is very relevant to me. For me, saying I am going to moderate is just cheating my way into a good drunk. And the few times I ever have actually achieved my effort to moderate, it has been a miserable experience -- usually at dinner with other moderate drinkers. But then I have to say that even the, sometimes I would go to a bar or come home to finish the job of getting drunk.

So for me personally moderation is a fantasy, I had to find out the hard way.-- but as others point out, we are all different and for some it works beautifully.

[Nicole2003]

ALCOHOL FREE or MODERATON?? WHICH?

The moderation vs AF debate is one I think most of us have struggled with. There are a lot of old posts and and threads on this and well worth a read in helping to inform your decision. When I was "moderating" ie managing few AF days then downing a bottle of wine, I thought that giving up wine completely would make my life miserable. But now that I've managed nearly 4 months AF (with the odd slip!) I've found the reverse to be true. I would also recommend you try the 30days AF as its only after a reasonable length of time you begin to feel the all the benefits. And rather than feel miserable, I feel really good and no longer have that feeling of constant exhaustion. Good luck with your decision, there's plenty of support here whichever path you choose.
Nicole

[Thankful]

ALCOHOL FREE or MODERATON?? WHICH?

Lausibel, yes this is the million dollar question for us, isn't it?

I hate to sound like I am repeating myself, but in this case I really am because I posted this response to someone else this morning. None the less, it fits here too.

One member once said (and it always stuck with me) that "it's 50 times harder to moderate than it is to abstain". I really believe that. When I was achieving my AF days, I kept wondering when can I try drinking again? Is today the day? What will happen if I had just one beer? I was constantly obessessing about it. It was driving me nuts. I ended up being too chicken to try (which is a good thing). But the day I decided 'screw it, I feel great what's the point having one or two anyway', it was like the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders. All that undue stress I was putting myself through on a daily basis, it just vanished.

I totally agree that going for those 30 days AF is so important. I felt that if I couldn't do those 30, I had no business considering moderation. It kind of pissed my me off for the challenge.

This is just my experience. You have to make that desicion for yourself though.

Best of luck to you. We are here to help no matter what you decide.

Love, Me
:l

[FloridaBoy]

ALCOHOL FREE or MODERATON?? WHICH?

matthen;318800 wrote: Hey all some excellent advice being offered here. Bambi makes a point that is very relevant to me. For me, saying I am going to moderate is just cheating my way into a good drunk. And the few times I ever have actually achieved my effort to moderate, it has been a miserable experience -- usually at dinner with other moderate drinkers. But then I have to say that even the, sometimes I would go to a bar or come home to finish the job of getting drunk.

So for me personally moderation is a fantasy, I had to find out the hard way.-- but as others point out, we are all different and for some it works beautifully.

Matt,

I am the same way. Moderation is not an option for me. It is delusional for me to think I can. I am fine with not drinking and do not miss it... but once I start.....now that I am 30+ days AF I do not want to go back to feeling and looking 'bad'. Not being able to moderate is not a crime. Our brains just do not know when to stop. I know *I* should not drink and when I do I feel that I let myself down and the spiral starts again.

It gets a lot easier when you realize that you should stop drinking to please no one but yourself. Yes, you are worth it.

FB

[matthen]

ALCOHOL FREE or MODERATON?? WHICH?

Hey Florida, 30 Days is a Monster Ball

Thanks for being here and talking. One day maybe soon, many of will join you there.!

[FloridaBoy]

ALCOHOL FREE or MODERATON?? WHICH?

:thanks: I am not on a :soapbox2: It was not that hard. Reading posts here and realizing you are not the only one really helped. If you were diabetic would you eat Hershey bars?

[janedunn26]

ALCOHOL FREE or MODERATON?? WHICH?

Interesting thread. I am only 16 days AF. This is my first time to REALLY attempt to be AF with any type of support system, supplement, or plan. I am enjoying the way I feel but would like to attempt to Mod... I think...... I have done some research on the "Moderation Management" website which RJ refers to in her book. There are some recommendations including 3-4 days AF per week and drink limit recommendations. They mention if you have trouble complying with these guidelines, you may want to consider abstinence. All of this is recommended after a 30 day AF period to clear your head, read about the program, and plan your program, i.e. identify your triggers, strategy, support system, exactly how you will accomplish this, etc. I have not purchased any of the reading material or looked into it any further. I am not sure I will. I'm too early in this process. Just thought I'd share the info.
good luck all. one day at a time.

[KateH1]

ALCOHOL FREE or MODERATON?? WHICH?

Many of us admit that when we came here, our goal was to moderate. Our dream was to moderate. It is an individual decision. The MWO program highly recomends at least 30 days AF before even attempting moderation. The MWO program also recomends supplements, and excersise and other ways to sobriety or moderation. You might want to read the book, it is so full of great information!

I reached 4 months without any alcohol on the 28th of April.........No Mods for me, I love living without alcohol in my life!!

Good Luck to You!
KH

[fresh-start-at-36]

ALCOHOL FREE or MODERATON?? WHICH?

Hi Lausibel,

Like nearly all the others I too have tried to moderate on many occasions without any success.

From my own observations, I would also say that many of my friends and family who have tried to moderate have failed miserably. That however does not mean that you will.

As suggested by many others, give 30 days AF a go. If you you can't go 30 days, I think you have your answer.

As Thankful said, I also believe that it is 50 times harder to mod than be af.

At least this way my mind has a definite answer. The brain often struggles with indecision and much prefers definite decisions.

Good luck with your decision.

Warm Regards

Brett.