I am painfully shy so even when the phone rings at his work, my heart pounds and my brain fries until I can make myself pick up the phone! And dealing with customers coming in was even worse. So normally I would have a drink to congratulate myself having talked to people I don't know - especially after going to cub scouts last night and meeting a whole new group of moms and not having a drink after that too. I don't feel in control but I feel in control of right this minute. I guess there is a lot to say about living in the present moment. I have a book on that and I think I'll reread it.
I am taking the Calms forte and the L-glut and the kudzu today, which I think helped a little with being able to handle the anxiety. But I haven't had time to do the hypnosis CD. Last night I took the Calms forte before bed and ended up waking up at 2 am and staying up until morning. Has anyone else experienced that? I have been a chronic insomniac for more years than I have been drinking so maybe it was just that. Also does anyone know why we are supposed to take more calms forte in the morning than at night when it is a sleep-aid??
I keep finding cig butts that I apparently threw in the lawn when I was drunk on Sunday night. How disgusting! My kids play out there. So I walked around and picked up all the ones I could find. I can't believe I do things like that when I'm drinking. I can't think about tomorrow right now. But I can conquer this day 2 AF. I can do that much. Thanks for the support and I'm so glad I found somewhere to write this down and work through it. ODAT - the hardest thing I've ever tried to learn.
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