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    #1

    my day 2 AF

    Thanks for everyone's encouraging words on my last entry (and my first entry). I feel so supported. I am 1/2 way through my second day but heading toward the harder part obviously because cocktail hour is on the way. No wine in the house. My husband's business partner scooted out of the business over the weekend without saying a word and now my husband is trying to run the thing by himself. So I have spent the day out there trying to learn what I can do to help. I enjoyed spending time with him and working (I'm a stay at home mom but I used to work FT), but I ended up being so proud of myself toward the end of the day that the thought popped in my head that it will be so good after work to sit down and have a drink with him. That caused a quick anxiety attack because I can't believe my brain works like that. And I couldn't think of anything to do to take the place of cocktail hour. My brain went crazy for a few minutes and then I thought, I'll just take each 15 minutes at a time until I get through it.

    I am painfully shy so even when the phone rings at his work, my heart pounds and my brain fries until I can make myself pick up the phone! And dealing with customers coming in was even worse. So normally I would have a drink to congratulate myself having talked to people I don't know - especially after going to cub scouts last night and meeting a whole new group of moms and not having a drink after that too. I don't feel in control but I feel in control of right this minute. I guess there is a lot to say about living in the present moment. I have a book on that and I think I'll reread it.

    I am taking the Calms forte and the L-glut and the kudzu today, which I think helped a little with being able to handle the anxiety. But I haven't had time to do the hypnosis CD. Last night I took the Calms forte before bed and ended up waking up at 2 am and staying up until morning. Has anyone else experienced that? I have been a chronic insomniac for more years than I have been drinking so maybe it was just that. Also does anyone know why we are supposed to take more calms forte in the morning than at night when it is a sleep-aid??

    I keep finding cig butts that I apparently threw in the lawn when I was drunk on Sunday night. How disgusting! My kids play out there. So I walked around and picked up all the ones I could find. I can't believe I do things like that when I'm drinking. I can't think about tomorrow right now. But I can conquer this day 2 AF. I can do that much. Thanks for the support and I'm so glad I found somewhere to write this down and work through it. ODAT - the hardest thing I've ever tried to learn.
    Wasted Time (NO MORE!)
    Tags: None
    #2
    my day 2 AF

    Wastedtime, you sound like you are doing so awesome!!

    It takes awhile to change our habits and retrain the brain that's for sure. Try not to think about AL as a reward for doing something good or after a hard days work. Try rewarding yourself by thinking you don't deserve to put that poison in your body. Now that's a reward!!

    We are creature of habits and it's changing these habits and figuring out what are triggers are that will really help with sobriety.

    I can't help on the Calms Forte, but I know others here do take it. Maybe you can post this question in Holistic Healing. I bet you'll get faster answers.

    Great job on day 2! Keep up the fantastic work! We are here for you.

    Love, Me
    :l
    Alcohol is simply the device between success and failure.

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      #3
      my day 2 AF

      Wastedtime (no more),

      Let me first say congratulations on getting through Day 2! Let me also say what you are thinking and feeling is perfectly normal for Day 2.....

      Your idea of taking it 15 minutes at a time is right on the money......sometimes that's what you have to do the first couple days.....

      You can do this. Don't make it more of a struggle than it is. Try and not see yourself as the underdog...instead, see yourself taking the steps to take care of this problem in your life....once and for all....so you can move on to be the person you really are...

      Get through the rest of the day without drinking. Just stubbornly refuse to take a drink. You'll wake up tomorrow feeling proud of yourself for being in control and not caving to The Beast...

      The restless sleep is also normal. It will pass. The next few days make sure you eat right, drink lots of water....that's important...most heavy drinkers are dehydrated...and get as much exercise as you can. It's time to cleanse the system....

      Before long, you will be sleeping better and thinking clearer....I promise.

      Stay strong and focused...

      Don

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        #4
        my day 2 AF

        Hello
        :new:

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          #5
          my day 2 AF

          Hello this is my second al free day too. And like you was just thinking oh no what am I going to do tonight. You are right take it a bit at a time. I too drink al as a reward and to make conversation easier. I just need to find something else! I am sure we can do this!
          :new:

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            #6
            my day 2 AF

            Hi Time -- One of the great features of this site is that it seems to give me the ability to evaluate my own situation with more clarity than ever before. You too seem to being a good job doing that. The painful shyness is just that and maybe a bit of toxic shame which a lot of alcoholics. I am so generally shameful sometimes that I can't pick up the phone in my own house and don't like seeing anyone on the elevator where I live. The happy times that I was sober for a week or so, my confidence grew and I was not afraid to talk to a person. Good luck, day 2 is BIG. Have a great tomorrow.
            Matt

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              #7
              my day 2 AF

              WastedTime (no more!!)

              I agree with Chief. You are doing very well and right on the money with Day 2.

              Like you, I had to start thinking about what to do with those times I just naturally went to a drink to ease the anxiety, nerves, congrat, relax. Geez!! I still have to do it. I am on 40+ days now but it is nowhere near like the beginning. More a whisper than a demand, if you know what I mean.

              This first week is "your" time. Let you be the central and focal point of everything you think and do. Pamper yourself. Treat yourself to very special things because physically you are gong through an upheaval. You will get through it and one day you will breeze through it and then "bonk!!" wow, this is great!!

              From then on, ease yourself into your newfound sobriety. The urges will come and please do not feel guilty about them. It is natural. Longtermers get the urges occasionally, they come out of nowhere. Just look at them as thoughts and nothing more. Brush them aside and I find smiling when I brush them away gives me a sense of triumph and power. I love having power over my urges.

              As for the insomnia. Try different things. I use melatonin, 6 mg, to help. My doctor gave me Trazadone (non-addictive) and it worked great but made me sleep 9-10 hours a night and with my job, not an option. However, I keep it up my sleeve for nights that are really bad.

              Oh, and I forgot to say, :welcome:

              I am glad you joined us and I hope your journey is smooth and rewarding. Just take the rough patches as what they are, a fact of life, and enjoy learning to get to know the real you. We will be glad to get to know you, too.

              Love,
              Cindi
              AF April 9, 2016

              Comment

                #8
                my day 2 AF

                Hi Wasted - Great job on Day one! Keep up the good work. If the urge hits, come on line and post or read old posts. They have been motivating to me when I have been struggling. There are some very insightful people on this board.
                Jane
                jane

                In order to change we must be sick and tired of being sick and tired.
                - Author unknown

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                  #9
                  my day 2 AF

                  I'm on Day 2 also. I'm taking antabuse, so their's no option to drink. During the day I'm fine, but must say, I'm pretty uptight between 5 and 8. Reading everything the "Seniors" write...it's very helpful. Thanks to all.

                  PS. Guess I'm a wimp. I got a prescription for immovane before I started AF. I didn't want to have the stress of not sleeping also. I only take it if I wake up in the middle of the night. I find that if you only take half and you have at least 4 hours before you have to wake up, you don't get a "hangover". Looking forward to sleeping well soon (as the experienced members have told us will happen)!
                  Anything I can Believe, I can Achieve!

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                    #10
                    my day 2 AF

                    Believer,

                    No "wimps" here. Do whatever it takes and take whatever makes it work (as long as it is NOT addictive..)

                    Love,
                    Cindi
                    AF April 9, 2016

                    Comment

                      #11
                      my day 2 AF

                      Keep going!!

                      I'm on my 12th week now, I still have dreams about drinking and I do miss it from time to time, but the fact that me and my husband are closer than ever, and that I'm looking after myself is worth far more to me than getting drunk.

                      The first days and weeks are odd and difficult, but you just have to remember that each day is a victory...and waking up in the morning without a hangover and memories of what happened the night before is absolutely priceless!!
                      'The only people who give you a hard time (for stopping drinking) are those who used to look to your drinking to excess to legitimise theirs, and they'll find someone else to do that in time. '
                      From an Amazon review of Allan Carr's ' Easy Way to Control Alcohol'

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