Who's just started or really starting in the New Year?

[Guest]

Who's just started or really starting in the New Year?

Re: Welcome Lilly

thank you soooooooo much you guys your support means sooooooooo much your rite tomorows another day the other thing i didn't tell u is my 16 year son is moving out 2
'morrow just moving in with with his stepsister temporarily allways scared he'll like that better than home..... oh well will check with u guys in the am pls forgive for my current state just had a really shitty day - lets hope tomorrow can be a whole new day st jude, pls say a prayer for me thank u heres 2 b ing free

[Guest]

Who's just started or really starting in the New Year?

Re: Free and welcome lilly

Hey Free - Don't sweat it. I must admit I did have two glasses of wine last night - the first in 9 days. That's the bad news. The good news is I didn't have a drink until about 8:00 p.m. (I usually start at around 5:00 on Fridays) and I SIPPED. Really sipped. Not chugged, like I usually do. So, I think that is progress. I never set out on this program to totally abstain - that's why I like it so much. You are in control. And if you had a few drinks last night, so what? Today is a new day. And you probably didn't have as much as you did before you started the program, right? Think positive.

And welcome, Lilly. I too feel like I have "come home". This is a great place to vent and get good advice. The best part is no one judges you. You can be completely honest. Which to me is very refreshing.

Hope everyone has a great Saturday.

Go Redskins! :lol

[Guest]

Who's just started or really starting in the New Year?

Re: Free and welcome lilly

Good mornin everybody,
How's it going? Hope you're having a better day Free. Change can be really hard sometimes. I don't think I deal w/it very well, especially,
if it's not "my" idea. Just trying to be grateful for the good things in my life...
My head's finally stopped pounding (after 4 days), very grateful for that. Also grateful the river didn't come up anymore, or I'd probably be "walkin on water"lol ! If I were a real saint, I might be able to. But as you probably know "St Jude" is actually the "Saint of Lost Causes!" How did my Mama know?
Hey, there Lilly , welcome aboard! G'day all Hugs & Prayers, Judie

[Guest]

Who's just started or really starting in the New Year?

Re: Free and welcome lilly

Good morning to all!

I'm amazed at how well just the vitamins are working for me...and thrilled by all of you and your progress towards your goals.

My bruising is sooo much better and I feel so much better. My 'craving' is much relieved. I still want a glass of wine late in the evening, but don't want to have 4 or more. All week long I've been able to stop at two or less. Amazing! When the topa comes (I ordered from Mexico) I can't imagine how that will be. I've listened to some of the tapes and found that they had shipped two copies of one and left another out and when I called, they were very nice about replacing the missing one. I find myself sleepy after the noon Calms Forte and end up taking an unplanned nap, but that's the beauty of starting this program during a stress free time of the year!

My goal is not total abstinence but restaint and control over the cravings and so far I feel I've made enormous strides toward that goal. Sharing with all of you makes a difference, I'm sure. It's still hard to get the supps in on appropriate times, because I don't eat on a regular schedule, but I'm managing to fit most of them in.

This may well have saved my life.

I smoke and must quit and am hoping that the topa will also give me control over that bad habit too. I've stopped so many times, only to go back to it. Does anyone reading this have any experience with giving up both? I want to QUIT smoking, and hope to be able to radically modify my craving/lack of control over alcohol. So far, the supps seem to doing well with the alcohol, but no effect on the nicotine cravings.

Wishing a happy Saturday to all and a weekend that helps you deal with your goals well. Free, forgiving yourself and starting over is so important for real recovery, so I'm hoping you are feeling better today. Jude, so glad those awful migraines have let up. They ruled my life for many years, too. It ain't fun!

P

[Guest]

Who's just started or really starting in the New Year?

Response to Free

Hi Free, and Welcome Lilly,

Hey Free, a while back in this post, you asked about side effects from topa, and about my doctor prescribing it.

I first started taking it back in the summer, and definitely had dopey effects from it and stopped taking it. That was before I knew about the program, though, and the problem was that I wasn't taking it right. I was taking it in the evening, after I was finished with my drinking. No wonder I was "dopey" the next day:x !

At any rate, I had some left over when I read the RJ's book and started back on it, and saw my psychiatrist in the next two weeks and he prescribed 100 mg tab's to go up to 150 mg. He didn't want me to go higher than that without consulting him. When I started taking the meds as directed in the book (and I faxed him the directions according to the book and said I wanted to go up to at least 200 mg.) I only had a slight tiredness in the beginning.

I noticed even at 25 mg. that my craving to drink was lessened, and at 50 mg. my drinking was cut in half. I stopped Jan 3rd, at 150 mg. The tiredness is gone, and I am more productive than I've been in a long time. The main "side effect" I'm having now is that I am more even-tempered than I have been in a long time, probably a combination of the absence of excessive amounts of alcohol and the mood stabilizing properties of topamax. I have also lost 5 lbs.:lol I consider this all very good! For me, topa seems to be a wonder drug. I just titrated up to 200 mg today, and I imagine that that is where I will stay for a while, and then cut back to a dosage where I am comfortable with my drinking behavior. If I have to stay on the stuff for the rest of my life, that's fine with me, too!

I hope this answers your question. I am going to see a "drinking buddy" tonight along with some other friends, and we have often discussed our mutual concerns about drinking. I have talked with her about the program, and she is very excited. I can't wait to bring her the book. I'm not worried about drinking too much myself, about a glass of wine seems to be all I want at this level of topamax. My mouth wants more, but the rest of me, including my stomach, doesn't.

In fact, I want to come out of the closet about something.... I am a psychotherapist, and I have had a number of clients in the past with substance abuse problems that I have HELPED!8o Of course, I have felt like the biggest hypocrite in the world while doing so....My own fears for my health and hating feeling like a hypocrite, as well, have been my biggest motivations for being here. But anyway, I am so excited that I have a resource like MWO to offer to those clients or clients who have a loved one with a S/A problem who don't want the AA approach! Anyway, I just wanted to share that!

Enough about me....blah,blah,blah. Anyway, welcome, Free and Lilly!

Kathy

[Guest]

Who's just started or really starting in the New Year?

To Kathy

Hey Kathy,
I'm thrilled to hear that you are a psychotherapist.. what a great occupation - and I'm sure that you are very good at it. However, it does not change my opinion about the validity of your posts or the insights that you provide, because I've enjoyed them on their merit and because they have come from your heart.

I've heard elsewhere of people who are substance abuse counsellors, nurses, doctors etc who are struggling with alcohol. I dont think it makes them less good at their job. I think its possible to split yourself (a requirement of drinking too much perhaps) and to use your skills and knowledge to help others while not applying it to yourself. I reckon everyone has that guilty feeling of what job they have - being a mum - or whatever it is and drinking... however, I think those in the health professions feel that guilt even more... I used to be a nurse educator about 10 years ago, so I can relate a bit. Academically, I reckon that this is emotive rather than real.. however, the feeling is strong.

I'd say that announcing your profession to us is a big step in your healing so congratulations to you... and keep up the good work.

Brigid

[Guest]

Who's just started or really starting in the New Year?

Re: To Kathy

Nice to meet all of you! Thanks for sharing with us what your profession is Kathy. I am a nurse and I know that if anyone I work with had a clue as to how much alcohol I consume they would drop dead. I often wonder what they would think of me. I'm pretty well liked I think, but the comments I hear about patients that are admitted with alcohol related illnesses are unreal. They deserve this..they did 'it' to themselves. I can imagine the buzz if I was admitted..would I suddenly be dirt? Anyway, hopefully that will never happen!

Paddy...when I quit smoking I took all the help I could. I did the patches and doubled up on them (I was a heavy smoker) I used them for longer than 6 weeks..I used them until I was completely confident that I could go without. I also joined a quit smoking on line support group, much like this one, that helped tremendously. Good luck to you! OH..one more thing I did. I gave a full pack of cigarettes to a girl I work with. We put them in her locker and the deal was...I could smoke whenever I wanted but it had to be out of THAT pack. So, that meant I had to get in the car, drive to the hospital, go to the operating room dressing room, get into her locker..and that was WAY too much work...and plus I don't drink and drive...lol

[Guest]

Who's just started or really starting in the New Year?

Thanks, Brigid and Lilly

Thanks Brigid and Lilly!

I really appreciate your support about my "coming out" about my profession. I do think we can help others in spite of our own problems at times. I know exactly what you mean, Lilly, about some of the comments that you have heard from others in the field about people deserving what they get. It drives me crazy, not just because of applying it to myself, but because all clients/patients whatever, need empathy and respect at the bottom line, as a basic condition of treatment. You don't have to even like a client, but you do have to respect them!!!! Anyway, I won't get on a soapbox about this, although I could!

I appreciate your both being supportive. I really love my job; even after doing it for 25 years, I am still learning and growing.

I love this site, too. I can't believe how much I've learned and how much support I've gotten in the short time I've been here. It's truly amazing. I have also come to feel like I "belong", and that's a good feeling, too!

Love to all!
Kathy

[Guest]

Who's just started or really starting in the New Year?

Kathy - yes you belong!

Kathy!
i love your posts. they are heartfelt and helpful and they do, no joke, warm the cockles of my heart. (did you know cockles are little muscles -i think- deep in your heart?) i am glad you are here and yeah you belong and you help me feel that i belong.

just wanted to send a quick note to say that i, too, have often felt like a hypocrate. i teach middle school and sometimes the substance subject comes up. i say what feels right in the moment, but i often wish i could just say: '' look, im' in a big struggle with alcohol right now, and have been for years. do yourselves a favor and keep your distance from substances." of course, that wouldn't work even if i could say it. but i feel like a hypocrate because i'm not the example i am supposed to be. though, i keep my drinking a very big secret, so what they see is probably a fine example.

thanks for sharing -for coming out- i bet you're GREAT at what you do.
Onoclea

[Guest]

Who's just started or really starting in the New Year?

Re: Kathy - yes you belong!

I'm awestruck by the honesty I see here. Is it because it's anonymous? In any case, it's wonderful to feel free enough to be this honest! Kathy and all of you, I'm proud to know you and none of us should be ashamed of being who we are. I believe we can say what we know without going into how we know it with more earnestness because we really DO know it. No shame in that at all. We sure don't have to say where we learned other lessons in order to teach them, so why should there be a problem when you teach of substance abuse?

I copied something years ago which I read every morning that says, "Self-acceptance is more important than Self-improvement" and I truly believe that as Dr. Phil says, we have to recognize something and own it before we can change it, and I see a lot of that here on this site.

Things are getting better for me every day. No shakes, no blotted memories...I fell asleep last night listening to the Hypnotic tape, not the sleeping one, but I was sober...so, some improvement for me. I can barely wait to get the whole program underway.

Again, I'm really piddytat, but had to reregister as paddytat to get on.

Happy Sunday to all!

P

[Guest]

Who's just started or really starting in the New Year?

is anyone out there rite now? have misplaced my book and need to take my after dinner supps and can t remember doses can someone look them up for me? thanks !

[Guest]

Who's just started or really starting in the New Year?

I am at work but I can check the doses when I get home.

Does anyone worry out there about the damage done to their liver. I know I cannot be a moderate drinker, like many its all or nothing and the latter helps me get out of bed every morning. So its day 2 (AGAIN) I got to 5 last time and felt amazing, but I got tired one day and it all went to ruin. That was about two weeks ago and its taken me days to get back into it. I am currently at work drinking green tea to try and get my liver healthy again.

[Guest]

Who's just started or really starting in the New Year?

Helen,

Good luck to you! I am on day 3 of the program!

I have made it 30 days once years ago and over x-mas break I made it 12 days on my own after hubby game me this book. I did however spend the first part of Jan. drinking waiting to get all the supps, cd's...still waiting on the topa and All One.
So now I have started....

I have worried many of times what I was doing not only to my liver but to my body in general over the last 15+ years of heavy drinking.

Keep on drinking your green tea, it is very good for you! I have taken up coffee and Ruby Red Grapefruit juice, plus my dt. dew of course...I need to drink more water!

Good luck and lets continue counting those days!

Tammie

[Guest]

Who's just started or really starting in the New Year?

thenewfreeme,

Sorry that know one was able to get back to you. The next time that happens go to the "new hear, read first.." area. I believe there is a list if you scroll to the bottom of RJ's message.

I was a daytime drinker (when kids were in school, hubby at work kind of thing) So I have adjusted the meds to work to help me. IE: take more of the klutz, L-glut..that kind of thing in the am instead of dinner.

Good luck to you, hope you found the info that you needed.

Tammie

[Guest]

Who's just started or really starting in the New Year?

Helen, i would really appreciate that still havent fouund the book its justweird. its been my bible for the past couple of weeks go no where without it, then last night gone and no where to be found. just ordered a new one online, but i gotta have the supps for the evening. doled out the day ones in a pill organizer. but cant remember the quantities and which ones for after dinner and went to "new to site, start hear, tells you which supps and mg's but not when to take them - so yes, Helen, i would greatly appreciate the info. look forward to checking in later thanks !