I have been "lurking" here for some time now and decided it is time to ask for some guidance, advice and maybe words of encouragement. I will try to make my story short. My parents were very strict, and I was disciplined with the rod. In today's world, I would have been taken from them and placed in foster care but back then it was the "norm". Many times I went to school hiding the marks of the belt, and I was the one that was enbarrassed. I have gotten beyond that. I am not looking for sympathy; just support. I left home when I turned 18. I got a job and found a group of peope who liked to party. I let loose. (Binge drinking; not a problem)
I got pregnant, had a daughter, got divorced. Worked 2 jobs but still found time to party on weekends. Still remained responsible. If I didn't have money for a babysitter; I didn't go out. Drinking was not an obsession. I got married a second time; had a son (29 on April 12). This time, I had an old-time doctor. He told me to drink beer. Said it made good milk. I had never really liked beer before but once I tried it; wow, I had the best baby. That is when I developed my taste for beer.
Was during my second marriage that I began tending bar. I drank but not to excess. My second husband turned out to be an alcoholic. He disgusted me!!! A really sloppy drunk! We divorced, and I was single for about 16 years. During that time, I got a job working for the state but continued to tend bar and got a job at a local resort. I had the most fun time of my life. I bought a house and a new car. I was always responsible and made sure my son was well cared for.
When he was 16, he went to live with his father who promised to buy him a car. About that time, I met a guy who was just getting a divorce. I fell head over heels. OMG! I was so in love. He asked me to marry him but after a year and a half I learned he was still in love with his ex-wife. He dumped me. I literally felt like I had a hole in my gut. It was then that the drinking really took control of me. I didn't sleep; I didn't eat. I would wake up at 2 a.m. and start to drink until I passed out. I had to be at work at 2 p.m. and would show up drunk. No one noticed because I was working in a bar and handled it quite well. I drank while I was at work; I stayed and drank after work; I don't think anyone even noticed. I went on a year long drunk.
One Thanksgiving Day I met a guy (my husband of 13 years) at a friend's house. He was smitten; I was still hurting. After a year and a half we got married. No one had ever treated me the way he did. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. When I met him, I was worried that I may end up raising my granddaughter who is now 17. That did not happen. My daughter is a herion addict and an alcoholic. She has three daughters. The middle one is now 10. She has lived with me most of her life, and my husband and I have had custody of her for the last two years. Getting a little ahead of myself here. Back to the drink, we partied with friends while dating, but didn't seem out of control.
Shortly after my husband and I were married, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, MPS, IBS and a multiple of other pain syndromes. I have been in so much pain, there are days it is hard for me to get out of bed. Now, enter, the drinking. I started drinking again to dull the pain of the fibro. I drink more to numb the stress of raising a 10-year-old granddaughter. I drink because I am sooooooooooo depressed I don't want to get out of bed in the morning. I drink because my husband works away and is only home every other weekend for two days and nothing ever gets done around the house. I drink because I can't sleep at night and my mind races because everything falls on me.
I got pregnant, had a daughter, got divorced. Worked 2 jobs but still found time to party on weekends. Still remained responsible. If I didn't have money for a babysitter; I didn't go out. Drinking was not an obsession. I got married a second time; had a son (29 on April 12). This time, I had an old-time doctor. He told me to drink beer. Said it made good milk. I had never really liked beer before but once I tried it; wow, I had the best baby. That is when I developed my taste for beer.
Was during my second marriage that I began tending bar. I drank but not to excess. My second husband turned out to be an alcoholic. He disgusted me!!! A really sloppy drunk! We divorced, and I was single for about 16 years. During that time, I got a job working for the state but continued to tend bar and got a job at a local resort. I had the most fun time of my life. I bought a house and a new car. I was always responsible and made sure my son was well cared for.
When he was 16, he went to live with his father who promised to buy him a car. About that time, I met a guy who was just getting a divorce. I fell head over heels. OMG! I was so in love. He asked me to marry him but after a year and a half I learned he was still in love with his ex-wife. He dumped me. I literally felt like I had a hole in my gut. It was then that the drinking really took control of me. I didn't sleep; I didn't eat. I would wake up at 2 a.m. and start to drink until I passed out. I had to be at work at 2 p.m. and would show up drunk. No one noticed because I was working in a bar and handled it quite well. I drank while I was at work; I stayed and drank after work; I don't think anyone even noticed. I went on a year long drunk.
One Thanksgiving Day I met a guy (my husband of 13 years) at a friend's house. He was smitten; I was still hurting. After a year and a half we got married. No one had ever treated me the way he did. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. When I met him, I was worried that I may end up raising my granddaughter who is now 17. That did not happen. My daughter is a herion addict and an alcoholic. She has three daughters. The middle one is now 10. She has lived with me most of her life, and my husband and I have had custody of her for the last two years. Getting a little ahead of myself here. Back to the drink, we partied with friends while dating, but didn't seem out of control.
Shortly after my husband and I were married, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, MPS, IBS and a multiple of other pain syndromes. I have been in so much pain, there are days it is hard for me to get out of bed. Now, enter, the drinking. I started drinking again to dull the pain of the fibro. I drink more to numb the stress of raising a 10-year-old granddaughter. I drink because I am sooooooooooo depressed I don't want to get out of bed in the morning. I drink because my husband works away and is only home every other weekend for two days and nothing ever gets done around the house. I drink because I can't sleep at night and my mind races because everything falls on me.
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