An update

[Guest]

Hello there again!

I wasn't sure where to post this but guess in here is as good as anywhere. I have been keeping quiet since I had a slip a week ago. I can say it's a slip now because I have been able to get myself back where I was when I came out of rehab and am not back in my old pattern of behaviour.

So I am very happy indeed.

I gave into the cravings last Sunday evening around 9.30pm and drank for about 3 hours. Basically I had not been dealing with work very well for the previous few days, people pleasing and running around in circles. Eventually I just gave in, it all got to me. Tried talking to someone from AA but I had already made up my mind - once that happens nothing can stop me. So 56 days and 12 hours AF I walked excitedly to the pub and drank. I downed about 6 pints of strongish cider, ended up sat on my own then back to my place with a carryout.

Was it what I imagined? No it was boring and sordid.

Spent Monday being sick, missed work and AA. Tuesday I was so depressed, just as I used to be following every binge, I couldn't/wouldn't get out of bed. Missed college and an important dental appointment. I was very scared in case I had lost whatever I gained inside me from my rehab. Wednesday got a little better but it wasn't til Friday night/Saturday morning I felt like me again. Got to my AA meeting and felt confident again - met my BF in town for coffee.

Today I took part in a run I have been training for around 71/2 weeks for. Some of my old club mates turned up and I recognised lots of folk from my athletic days. Ended up running with some of the club team. I completed the 5K in 23:18 my aim had been for 25 mins.

Stopped for a lunch outside a pub on the way home and wasn't tempted at all. Sat away from most of the drinkers in a quiet corner.

Last Sunday has shown me I really, never want to go down the AL road again. It was horrid and definitely not worth it.

So, back on track and feeling good.

[Popeye]

An update

I walked excitedly to the pub and drank. I downed about 9 pints of strongish cider, ended up sat on my own then back to my place with a carryout.

Was it what I imagined? No it was boring and sordid.

I know what you mean. I used to get really excited looking forward to my 'well earned' drink, usually a bottle of vodka, settle down as far away from human company as possible and proceed to start enjoying it less with every swallow. In fact as soon as I crack the lid off, I feel bad, because I know I'm letting myself down and that I'll be racked with guilt and shame, but that doesn't matter; I just carried on. Not today though
I too am back on track and feeling good.

[boozehag]

An update

Hi Uk blonde
been following your impressive progess to date so am sorry to hear about your wee slip but maybe it is just a timely reminder that we can never be complacent about AL it is always lurking waiting to trip us up when we least expect it.
Good job that you are back on track again though and that you had such a great run.
BH

[FloridaBoy]

An update

Been there before too. The hangover and bad feelings afterward negate the thrill of the buzz.

:goodjob: On the 5K.

[Guest]

An update

FB

I don't actually recall getting a buzz! I sat there trying to get that 'amazing' feeling, ended up having drink after drink and never getting anywhere at all.

[matthen]

An update

UK thanks for the update, Good Lord How I know the cycle. Right now I am on day 2 and feeling unusually hopeful after a week long binge. This time I really make myself feel sick -- maybe I can remember that. btw: are you taking any meds; I heard that there is one that blocks the "positive" buzz of AL so you don't appreciate the binge. Does anyone know of this drug, is it true?

[happydog]

An update

Hi UKblonde,

I think we have to go through this to realise we dont want to go down that AL road again it just not worth it like you said good on you this will make you twice as strong as you was before.
Good to see you straight back on track well done...Also Congratulations on doing your 5km run you should be proud of yourself, that is my next goal,i would like to do.

Matthan...i to would love to know the one that blocks the "positive" buzz if it ture as well.

Love
Teardrop.x

[caseaday]

An update

Hi UK Blonde,

First of all, congratulations on your time in the 5K! It is a big accomplishment and you must be very proud of beating your target time.

In regard to your slip last Sunday, I think you should give yourself a significant amount of credit for how you handled yourself last week! You used all of your strength and knowledge to address the problem and immediately get back on track. As you know, I didn't do so well and went on an intense seven day bender. I really respect you for taking charge and putting AL back in his place.

Take care and have a great week!

[Mad Mummy]

An update

Hi UK Blonde

That 5km time was brilliant - I'm trying to get mine under 30 mins. When I run I don't drink - don't know why must be the endorphins or somesuch thing:H Well done for pulling yourself back after your slip, God knows we all have them.

[iowegian]

An update

I believe the drug that is supposed to block the buzz is called naltrexone. The trade name is Revia. There is now a once a month injection of the same medication that i think is called suboxone. I am not a pharmacist, nor do I play on on TV. That is the official disclaimer, but if you Google naltrexone, I think you will find the info you are looking for. The drug inhibits the opiod receptors that alcohol activates. Gee, I did learn something in "Drugs and Behavior"(3rd year college course)
Take care,
IO

[matthen]

An update

Hey Great Info, thanks

[Guest]

An update

The only med I am taking is Campral, I have started using L-glut when I remember as part of my fitness diet with occasional AA supplementation.

I got the breathless excitement in anticipation of drinking but when I drank it just wasn't there. I don't believe it's been there for some time back into my drinking. I think that in the right spiritual, frame of mind with some good time AF you just don't get or need the buzz. Trouble with AL is it is so hyped up you convince yourself you are having a good time.

I had imagined pubs full of folk having a good time all over the Bank Holiday - I wanted some of that, to also feel 'belonged' again. Truth is no-one belongs drunk in a bar - nor at home for that fact. It only isolated me from my partner, family and work associates.

I don't want to rely on a drug to block the buzz - I want to be able to feel good enough not to do it in the first place.

Just my philosophy.

[caseaday]

An update

UK...I also had the same experience last week when I went on the binge. I thought it was going to be so much fun to party and drink for just one day. But the reality was that I was alone painting my deck slamming beers and felt know fun drunk high that I used to get. And worse yet it led to seven days!

I wonder why it didn't feel as it did a month ago, but am also happy that it didn't make me happy!

[Guest]

An update

Cad

I was real scared mine would continue - when I woke the next morning I just wanted to carry on. I realised it was because I still had AL in my blood stream so it was a direct physical influence. I got dressed, got my bag and said to myself "I will go in town and buy a newspaper - if I want to I shall go to the pub have a breakfast and pint". So, set off - went to the shop for a paper and whilst standing in the queue I just felt so physically tired I just couldn't be bothered to go and get some drink. So bought a sandwich and went home, to bed! Tuesday when I was depressed and Wednesday I still had slight urges to drink but tried to remember how in rehab that went away with time. I just stuck it out.

By Saturday, true enough I felt great again.

Hard work for 3 hours drinking!