Check in - Thursday

[Miss Behaving]

Morning all!

CS - hope you are still up to see this and that you have managed to hang in there. Handling emotions and parenting a two year old are tough! Do you have people who you can call on to help - either to talk to or to give you some time off? And dont you just hate work that has to be done late at night when all you really want to o is something else? I always end up feeling so resentful - and then drink wine to make me feel better about it (and of course that means that I cant concentrate and the work doesn't get done anyway!!)

Anyway thinking of you and sending good thoughts across the Pacific to you .......

Pamina - welcome! Get stuck in!

Travis - keen to hear how your supps etc go. I've checked out health food stores here but cant find anything that seems similar. Dont want to get anything on-line until I have see my Dr and talked to her about it.

Maisie - great suggestion about hair appointment ..... I could use one myself and if I make one for right after the close of the workshop today then it will be a little treat for myself and help me to avoid temptation.

Didn't sleep well last night and woke up feeling very heavy. Like a hangover. How unfair is that!!?? Skipped the gym and stayed in bed for another half hour ........

better go and up and at 'em I suppose! Have a good day everyone and I'll look forward to hearing from you when I get home!

[Angelcakes]

Check in - Thursday

I've also been waking up feeling a bit foggy...but not sick or overly tired & I;m not wishing I didn't have a 3yr old & 16mnth old to deal with - actually, I love dealing with them once I'm up!! It's sooo cold at this time of year & hard to get up...I'm in AKL, but from Sydney and still finding the Winters very BRrrr.
Anyways, I'm proud of me - Wed night (hump nite) & I usually polish off about 1.5 bottles of vino & feel awful...was tempted last night but didn't stop at the bottlo. Went to the gym & was soo tired I climbed into bed early.
I thought I looked thinner this morning too:H
Todays another trial though, it's getting harder for me as the week goes on actually...however, I will think of you all and check in here.
I will not stop at the bottlo tonight either...
Maisie, I'm sending out thoughts of strength & encouragement to you...you don't need someone who's bringing you down & only time will help you heal but if you're strong now, one day you'll look back, maybe with a new/better partner and wonder 'what the hell was I doing??' Trust me, it'll get better without AL, but not with AL:h

[Travis]

Check in - Thursday

Strange that this is the Thursday thread for you and it is still Wednesday night here. I failed tonight. Horribly too, because there was no good reason. I mowed my lawn. Seems harmless, but it used to be a 12 beer job. A half an acre on a push mower can take three hours if you try hard enough. I don't regret it yet, but I surely will tomorrow. My old man helped me out to get the house ready for my wife's party tomorrow night. He and I drink very easily together. I actually hoped this program would work so well, I could give it to him at some point - think I might still be able to do so. I can't believe I'll be at day 1 again tomorrow. Had some huge aspirations at this point, though I doubted that I could be anything but a drinker in some corner of my mind, so I gave in. Don't do it because this feels worse than the voice. Starting over tomorrow...

[Peanut]

Check in - Thursday

You know, Travis, I feel like every night I could slip up - right up until the time I quickly grab something else besides the wine. Everyday I start out strong, and by evening, I am imagining myself fessing up the next morning on this site that once again I am starting at day 1. I think that is enough to stop me!!! I know what you mean about doubting that you could be anything but a drinker to some extent - which makes it always One Day At A Time for me. I am finishing up another day 3 and am just trying to do that - only that! I am busying myself making cabbage rolls, at 10:10pm - believe it or not!!
Good luck with Day 1 tomorrow! It is always a brand new day!
Peanut

[Muddle]

Check in - Thursday

Day 3 is almost done (it's still Wednesday night here, too), and I'm going strong (but know I can't be overconfident, I need you all so much)! Today was really hot here and someone at work was talking about Margaritas, and I have Margaritas in a box in the refrigerator right now. There was the momentary, "that sure sounds good," but I remembered all of you. After my hair appointment, I took a bike ride and came home to my "friend" who had quite a few beers. But you know, seeing someone who has been drinking quite a bit when you are sober puts a whole other light on things. Also, a couple of people I recently met called, and I was so grateful that I could hold a conversation and not have to worry the next day that I said something stupid and embarrassing because I had been drinking. I say my share of goofy things without drinking.

One of the posts I read the other day talked about how when you're alone you can drink and no one knows and no one cares. My husband was an alcoholic who drank from the time he got up to the time he went to bed. He tried and tried to quit, but would not ask for help and had horrible, life threatening DTs more times than I can count (dozens probably and hospitalized at least 10 - 12 times). So my evening wine (1/2 bottle to 3/4 bottle to sometimes full bottle) never seemed so bad by comparison. After he died last year (of liver failure), I hated myself for my drinking, but who knew and who cared? This is the first time I feel like it would matter if I messed up, because you all would care (but not judge).

Travis, you have done me so much good. It was reading your first thread about going along for 14 days together that gave me the extra motivation to do this. And the daily check-in threads are god sends. Thank you! "Next to trying and winning, the best thing is trying and failing." Congratulations on having the courage to go for Day 1!

[jessie]

Check in - Thursday

Hi Travis, I am also on day 1 again after slipping on day 11. I am so disappointd with myself. But now I'm picking up my head and starting again. Want to hold my hand? you're welcome.
Jessie

[Miss Behaving]

Check in - Thursday

Travis - dont beat yourself up! Like Maisie, it was your post that got me here and I have had many a warm thought towards you for that! We will keep this going until we've all done it - just that some might get there faster than others!

And I'm finding it harder as the week goes on as well.Steadfastly stuck to tonic water at after -workshop drinks though.

If y'all are still up when it is my time in the morning then maybe starting a new thread every day isn't such a good idea?

Although part of my suggesting this is self-interest, as I have to leave the house at 6:40am, and I may not always feel awake enough to open my lap top lid!!!!

[Muddle]

Check in - Thursday

I didn't sleep too well last night. I have plans right after work again, which I think is helping me right now. I'm taking my dog on a walk with one of the new people I recently met. For some reason, when I wake up after drinking a lot, I have horrible neck pains and stiffness (not sure what that is about). It feels good to wake up without that, or at least when I wake up not feeling that great, I know what is "real" and what is from the AL. Have agood day, everyone, and I'll see you tonight.

Aunty Mame, for myself, it doesn't bother me that you are on a different day and start the post early. It is kind of encouraging in a way; it's like I've already made it through another full day.

[LVT25]

Check in - Thursday

Travis, after reading your post from last night, I just had to jump in a bit. You gotta watch for those triggers and have an alternate plan. With me, drinking and smoking was so enjoyable in the spring/summer. Nothing better than a cold beer and a ciggie after some serious yard or garden work. I planned my quit in the winter for this reason! I knew I had to have some serious time under my belt before I could get out there in the dirt!. I have even been stalling because I knew it was a huge trigger for me. I did finally get out in the garden yesterday, and oh yes, the cravings came. But I had somewhere to be, and the "thoughts" passed rather quickly. It may be helpful to write down your "triggers" so they don't sneak up on you. It is really hard to talk yourself out of them once they start in.
Hang in there!!

[chiman]

Check in - Thursday

Hi All. I slipped, too, only 2 glasses of wine which for me is amazingly little, but I still had them. So day one again today. As always I feel stupid for not being strong and I feel horrible for seemingly having no control, but now I feel bad because I feel like I let everyone here down. That is a good thing as I think I needed that feeling to be stronger next time.

[Pamina]

Check in - Thursday

Hi everyone. I'm so glad you're here, whether anyone slipped up or not. You've pulled me into these boards and now we're all in this together. :l But like Aunty Mame and Angelcakes, I'm finding this harder as I go along. Day 3 AF today and the s***tiest by far. I felt incredibly irritable earlier in the day and actually took work home early so as not to bite anyone's head off inadvertently. Now I'm foggy and tired, as though drunk. I'm going to curl up with RJ's book and sort out the supplements. That brain chemistry is definitely out of whack.
Beatle - so sorry to hear about your circumstances. But thank you for jumping back here and helping others. My head is still spinning with all the info available at the Health Recovery Center - that should keep me occupied for the rest of the evening.
Good luck to all in later time zones.

[Muddle]

Check in - Thursday

Thanks for the post, Pamina. I was just sitting here at work and suddenly felt overwhelmingly depressed for no reason whatsoever, and came on-line to ask if anyone else was having mood swings. Then I saw your post, so I guess it's normal. But yes, it feels awful. I think I need to be especially careful tonight if I keep feeling this way . . .