I was just reading all the posts that came in while I was sleeping and it seems like a whole lot of us are struggling a little .... and it is the dreaded weekend starting (although after this week it feels very welcome!!!)
I too have been feeling very heavy and sluggish in the mornings ... not sleeping or sleeping heavily but not waking rested.
I had a long talk with my partner about this last night as he is an ex-mental health professional who has done lots of work in acute alcohol and drug services. He says this is all very normal and is part of the process of the liver actually having had 24 hours (or 48 or 72 ....!) rest and getting a chance to flush some shit out! So right now I'm feeling like I did in my worst drinking days when the only cure for a hangover was more alcohol. I rather suspect that this is why the 30 days is important - that the re-wiring that I have heard others talk about only happens once your liver has a fighting chance again!
I've also had major coughing fits over the last couple of days - which MAx Smart has also hypothesised is related to having cut back. As alcohol is a major depressant it can suppress reactions of the autonomic nervous system .....
anyway, it helps me to understand what is gong on for me on a rational scientific basis, although I know that for others it may be completely irrelevant! But I keep telling myself that if I feel like shit, then that is just going to be part of the process for a wee while, and drinking again isn't going to get me through it any faster. It is just going to take as long as it takes.
I have been very heartened on this site at the encouragement and support given to everyone when they are having a hard time or have slipped. When I was going to AA on a regular basis, one of the things I found hardest was (what I perceived as) a very judgemental and harsh attitude to that. As someone who grew up with very little parental "positive strokes" I found it just sent me backwards. It certainly didn't encourage me to be honest!!! I feel like I can be very open here and that is a very good thing.
I am not at all confident about my ability to get through the weekend, but I also dont want to write myself off before I give it a go .... dont want to talk myself into slipping up before I do. This is a place where I can explore what I'm feeling when I'm feeling tempted, rather than just giving in without a fight!
Must rush - late for the gym .....but am back in the office this mrning so may leave this on and catch up with you all then .....
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