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[lucky 2.0]

Just joined

JJ,

Love your avatar of the bridge. A bridge to new life. Very cool.

Believe in yourself.

[CMCEREZA]

Just joined

Welcome Jajoly.. Glad to have another 41yr mom in the group. My kids are 15 & 18 and I just joined last week and just finished reading the book. very inspiring! Welcome again.

[FloridaBoy]

Just joined

jajoly;329326 wrote: Thanks for the welcome messages :thanks:

I have been very pensive over the last few days since I joined Sat with a hang over and vague and embarrassing pictures flashing back through my mind - funny how you can suddenly remember saying/doing something hours later into the day after the "night before". Had a lovely message from one of the friends with my "last" public display (at least) of being stupor drunk. It was a shaming experience, but one I know has been repeated many times alone with no visible eyes to comment. I needed that shock.

I have not properly started yet, just moderating and going AF ... but I know if I don't do something and realise I can't do this without support that the nightly binge cycle will return ... I know my pattern, I think, and that scares me, as I'm not even sure when I start if I will manage the 30 day AF - that will be my starting point ... knowing where I am starting from ... at the moment I still lull myself into thinking that once I really can be bothered enough to give it a real go that I will be able to do it and moderate ... the realist in me is screaming that I know I will never be a moderator. Time will tell as they say and the proof will be in the pudding.

I am hoping the CD's might arrive by next week and I want to get my head into the space of telling me that I am starting in earnest with the combination of a week off work and the kids being away for a few days at their dad?s as school is half term. I find the pressure of work and the kids at same time a combustible combination and my resolve starts to weaken at about 3pm and I buy wine on the way to pick up the kids at 5.30pm. It then sits in the fridge (or even freezer!) until 8-9pm where it screams drink me drink me until I tell myself "I deserve it" (a familiar one no doubt to many of you).

Trouble is, the 1 bottle has started creeping up to opening a second bottle and drinking half of that too.

I will no doubt be around properly once I "properly" start attempting to change this thorn in my side. I know it shouldn't control me and I have let it, willingly at times.

Thanks for listening.

J x

:welcome: You can do it...because you want to. Try 30 days AF and you may feel so good that going backwards will not be an option. *I* know I cannot moderate and that is half the battle. Maybe you can? You just have to be brutally honest with youself.

[fresh-start-at-36]

Just joined

Hi jajoly.

Welcome to this wonderful place.

You will find that the support of everyone here will help you immensely with your decision.

Personally, all I can say is that I have never felt better in years.

My life is changing day by day. For the better.

My confidence is returning.

My marriage and my relationship with my kids is absolutely wonderful.

Life just seems so much brighter.

It's amazing what 30 days can do.

Good luck with your decision.

Warm Regards

Brett.