hi - i'm new and scared....

[bernadette]

hi - i'm new and scared....

thank you kiri,

i do believe you are right. sunday i just drank less than usual having found MWO, the next night, i did my little measuring and lessened by 1/4 ounce. and last night when i was 2 ounces away from my goal i just went to bed and i feel fine. actually i feel kinda good. so, tonight, i'm switching the wild turkey for jack daniels (from 100 to 80 proof) and cutting back 2 ounces. then i'll be down to 4 1/2 oz.

i am doing this! thank you everyone for your support!

..b..

[petpeeve]

hi - i'm new and scared....

Hi Bernadette and welcome, sounds like you have a plan, but i agree with others watch out with the other meds you are on. I am sure you can accomplish what you want, you sound determined, and I cannot see how your doctor would turn you away when you are trying to help yourself.........best of luck

[bernadette]

hi - i'm new and scared....

gee, i thought i responded to you pet/peeve, but i can't find my response. oh well, i am determined and today have cut back substantially - i might have to go to bed earlier to avoid thinking about the alcohol. after just a few days of the taper, i look so much better. i don't feel better - i thought i did. what started scaring me was that i have been extremely dizzy for the last year. i've had an brain MRI and a scan and blood tests, ENT workups and no one has found a cause so i think it is the combo of meds and alcohol. seems to be a bit worse today as the alcohol is leaving my system, but a tiny bit of xanax twice today saved me. i'm down to 4 ounces today. this is thrilling. i thank you all for your comments and support especially those who "believe" a taper on one's own is possible (yes, with MD knowing) as i needed to hear it IS POSSIBLE and i know it IS as i am doing it.

thank you! ALL of you!

.b.

[bernadette]

hi - i'm new and scared....

yay! did/doing it! 2 ounces to go and i'm alcohol free without any serious repercussions..

thank you so much everyone for your support.

..b..

[boozehag]

hi - i'm new and scared....

Way to go B! That is so fantastic.
Look forward to seeing you on the 30 day thread soon.
BH

[Miss Behaving]

hi - i'm new and scared....

Great work bernadette! Give yourself a treat (an AF one!) to celebrate!

[Accountable for Me]

hi - i'm new and scared....

Way to go with the weaning yourself off! It takes sheer determination to stick with a plan, such as that. My hat goes off to you! roud:

AF is just around the corner. Stay strong. (although, I think you will!) :l

[Bridget Jones]

hi - i'm new and scared....

Bernadette,
Welcome to MWO! I'm new here. Just read your story. You are doing great! Keep up the good work. You can do this! See ya on the boards.
Bridget

[Chyrsa]

hi - i'm new and scared....

How is it going bernadette?

[bernadette]

hi - i'm new and scared....

wow! i didn't expect to get a bunch of responses and didn't check for a while.

THANK YOU SO MUCH for all your support. i look so much better, have so much more energy, lost a few pounds (i was always skinny but when i quit smoking and drinking MORE i piled on about 25 lbs) and i'm still at 2 ounces a day. having some trouble giving that up mostly due to feeling shaking/tremulous at around 5:00 at night, so ((sigh)) i medicate with one ounce and then about 9:00 i am pacing the floor and medicate with the "other" ounce. i am trying not to beat myself up over it, as it is better than the pint per night. i have a feeling in a few days i am just going to say ***** it and go for total abstinence. i am amazed that i don't feel horrid withdrawals, but i guess the pain meds and xanax are keeping me "safe" and i haven't increased any of those dosages.

i SO MUCH admire each and every one of you that gave this up. it takes so much strength and courage and fortitude. you are amazing and i hope you never forget it.

but, now i've replaced this addiction (though not quite through with it yet) for another. shopping on e-bay. oh well. i don't spend more than i can afford and shopping never ruined anyone's liver so i think i'll go shop now.

LOVE YOU ALL!

..b..

[voices]

hi - i'm new and scared....

Way to go B!

Hi b,

So glad to see that you are hanging in there and doing sooo much better! I hope that you can go to your Dr. appt. on 6/11 without a bunch of guilt because you will be AF by then!

-V

[Finding My Self]

hi - i'm new and scared....

Hi Bernadette.....just sending a few more good wishes and and a hand to will you on your way. You sound like one determined person and so deserve to succeed.... Just keep going! It's the '"How do you eat an elephant?" question....."One mouthful at a time!" (Eeeek! Hope you're not veggie and/or struggling with food!)

I tapered and it worked for me..... Never give up your dream.

Love FMS xx

[nancy]

hi - i'm new and scared....

Hi Bernadette and welcome.

I seem to remember we had another thread recently about chronic pain. At least I don't think it was this one. Try doing a search.

I don't have a lot more to add except I am fully supportive of the harm reduction approach. I think anything you can do,however small to help the problem is good.

I have read tons of books since coming to this website and I personally think the Rational Recovery/Beast approach was one of the worst and most useless,but hey maybe it doesn't appeal to me because I am female. I agree with voices that SMART Recovery seems to have a LOT to offer.Check out their website, they have online meetings and the book When AA doesn't work for you is great.

Another great author on addictions is Alan Carr, who wrote EasyWay to Stop Drinking.

As for this site, ok, so Topamax is not for you. I think the My Way Out book is wonderful, a personal account of a woman with alcoholism and who found a solution. Even if you don't take Topamax, you will learn by reading. You might want to try some supplements too.They are not miracle workers and I feel sure they act as a placebo cure for some people, but I think that taking care of your nutrition is a great step toward recovery.

Good luck.

[Dolly Sunshine]

hi - i'm new and scared....

Good for you for what you have done. Best of luck(luck has nothing to do with it) to you!

[bernadette]

hi - i'm new and scared....

hi friends....sorry i have been away for so long especially when i have asked y'all for help and then seemed to disappear. basically i needed to have space from the world and everything familiar in order to change my habits. i wish i was doing better by now. i still have this weird craving (and i succumb to it) for 1 ounce of 100 proof per night. i really think i am undermedicated for my pain issues and i am trying to self medicate with the ounce - but praise the lord and all that is good and fine (i don't uphold any particular religion, but love to say praise the lord...LOL) i tapered from a pint to a half pint and now down to one ounce of 100 proof alchohol without going through any of the scary things of which i was afraid...seizures, etc etc,. - i am going to talk to my docs about campril, since i seem to have this craving for that nightly ounce.

i cannot thank you all enough for the help and support and kindness you have shown me. thank you thank you thank you.

i love you all,

..b..