I am so unsure about wether i have a problem or not. I can go days without a drink. I do think about it, but more like I'm thinking " i should not think about this.. .do i have a problem... am i an alcoholic" Not necessarliy about the dring itself. Does that make any sense?? I do enjoy wine and i do enjoy drinking socially. I do drink to excess- not intentianlly... i feel fine and then "all of a sudden" I'm tippsy. My husband is concerned- he used to drink wine with me too- we would have a glass with dinner and finish the bottle when the kids were in bed. I just had my third child and was not even into having a glass when he twisted my arm. (not oo hard of course) I had a glass and now three months later I'm back being able to finish a bottle by myself- or trying hard not to. I drink too fast! I am nursing too ... please don't hate me now... I am rambling i know. I made an appointment today to see a therapist. Not sure if this is post partum or a drinking problem. It has gone on for so long and i've always attributeed it to things going on in my life- in college it was a break-up with a boyfrined, then it was a socially acceptable thing to do... we all did it. Afterwork happy hour. I am now a mom of three and throughout it's just been a way to unwind. So here goes.. am i an alcoholic? or do I just need to learn how to drink in moderation. Is this something you should have to LEARN? Shouldn't it come naturally. I just want to feel normal and not like I have a problem if i really don't. It does not interefere with anything i do. I am not hungover or tired. I just get tippsy at night.. not all the time, but too often for my husband. I have always had a high tolerance- that's probably bad right? ahhh I HATE THIS.
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not sure if i have a problem
welcome
Hi gghs mom,
Honestly, no one can answer that question but yourself. Have you ever had to hide your drinking? Have you ever drank before an event? Do you ever blackout? Do you want to stop? Has anyone ever told you they thought you had a prob? These are some of the questions to think about. I am a mother-baby nurse and the latest literature regarding drinking and breastfeeding is very liberal regarding this. It would take a large quantity of alcohol to really affect the baby. Our lactation nurses tell our pts it is ok to have everything in moderation. Read on and see if your relate to our stories and more important, our feelings. I am a mom of 3 too. Hard work!! Welcome! Gina -
not sure if i have a problem
not sure if i have a problem
gghsmom,
I reckon if you are here, there is a problem. I also had a real discussion with myself to think if I was ACTUALLY an alcaholic. That was a definate stage I went through. Like you (a previous nurse) and also a mum... I could get thru a bottle. And I could have days without. But the reality was that I wasnt happy with my drinking and it certainly had more of a hold on me than I wanted.. so after much internal debate, I thought its better for me to accept that this is MY alcaholism and deal with it. Nearly 11 weeks later and sober I can see things differently to where I was 11 weeks ago and I really dont look back.
Whatever you call it, if you arent happy with your drinking which your post indicates that you arent, then there are options on this forum that are discussed that you may consider.
Good luck.
BrigidComment
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not sure if i have a problem
Gghsmom - I too wondered if I was the dreaded "A" word. But to me, it's not really about labeling. It's about whether you are happy with your quality of life and feel good about yourself and well being. It sounds like your kids are younger. I have a 15 and 13 year old in an addition to an 8 year old. The older ones know what's going on and I want to set a good example for them. I don't know if I am classified as an alcoholic, but I do know for sure that I am a heavy drinker. I'm not happy with that, so I am trying to do something about it. I am one week sober today. I'd like to prove to myself that I can stay away from wine (my drink of choice) for one month. After that, maybe moderation. I don't know yet.
Welcome to the discussion forum. This has kept me going all week. There are some great people on here who do not judge - just offer helpful advice and really make you feel like you are not the only one going through this. We are all together in this journey.
Good luck and I hope to read more from you.
Jane.Comment
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not sure if i have a problem
I agree. But don't feel like you have to label yourself. I don't feel like I am an alchoholic, but that is where I was headed. I was uncomfortable with my relationship with alchohol period. I drank too much, too fast and too often. I know people who drink way more than I ever did and they consider themselves perfectly normal so Gina is right. You have to ask yourself, what is your comfort level?
Some people aren't comfortable with more than two drinks. I have read people on this board being uncomfortable with a night of six drinks and I am thinking "that's it?" I was up to sometimes 10 and 12 per night.
Are you craving alchohol or are you drinking out of habit. If you are lucky you are just drinking out of habit. Most of us have to beat the cravings and then the habit. The topa, sups cds and exercize help with the cravings but man those habits are a bi*ch.
This board and program are awesome!
Welcome aboard.
-NinaComment
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not sure if i have a problem
not sure of problem
Hi gghs, I remember about 8 yrs ago, when my sister tried to tell me I was an alcoholic & had a major problem. At that time I'd never been arrested, or lost a job or ruined a friendship,... due to my drinking... All of those "yets". Now less than a decade later, I realize how right she was. Unfortunately, I let her talk me into going to treatment (not cheap), especially if you don't think you need it. I remember people asking me, in treatmt, "How many DUI's have you had?" Or "How many times have you been arrested?" When I told them "never". The responce was, what are you doing here? So of course that reinforced my belief that I had no problem (hence I didn't get much out of the treatment ) I think deep down I really knew, but to admit it to my family & the whole world? That's a tuff one . My point is, no one can tell you if you have a problem, that's for you to decide. In any case, if you like, keep checkin in on the posts there's some great support here. Nobody needs to "label "themselves , I think it's great that we've all found this site. Thought my Kudzu would be here by now, but I need to patient I guess. Not a natural state for me ! Hugs JudieComment
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not sure if i have a problem
not sure of problem
Hi gghsmom!
I'm with everyone here and agree that only you can decide if you have a problem. Clearly your husband is uncomfortable with your drinking. I'm concerned because you said that he twisted your arm. Did you mean that literally? If you did, I'm worried for you, because that won't help you deal with your alcohol problem, if you have one. I'm glad that you are going to see a therapist, and I hope that you keep posting on the site. We're all here to support you.
Welcome!
Hugs,
KathyComment
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not sure if i have a problem
Problem, yes!
Hi gghsmom,
I am Everyone on this site! You would not know me, even if you were my neighbor, saw me at a school function, grocery store. walking my dog.... But I am here. We are everywhere!
You see, I have a major drinking problem...but most would not know it. I drink during the day....kids in school, hubby at work... (yes, they know!)
So, the first step is admitting it. If you are on this site you are admitting it~ Maybe just to yourself and maybe just for the first time; give it time. (I am no expert, so maybe you aren't, only you can decide.)
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
T.Comment
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not sure if i have a problem
now what
OK.. so we seem to have mixed emotions. As i sit here.. having had at least a bottle of wine and two martini's...
My husband is out for the night.. doing a good deed- taking the neighbor out for his 40th. I - as usual am HOME!!! So sick of this. Is that me or the disease? I can hear the baby upstairs- he's not happy....gotta go put on my mom hat... I love my kids....Comment
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not sure if i have a problem
Re: now what
Hey ther gghs mom, I'd love to babysit for you! How far are you from the Oregon Coast? I love kids, just don't have any of my own, But I claim a few here & there, & borrow them when I can... My babies are my Doggies. My little Sid I had for 15 yrs, she went everywhere w/me., I even had a basket on my bike, for when she got tired, or along the Hwy... She kayaked w/ me, had her own life jacket... I adopted a little Schipperkee, from the pound, last April, (Lost Sid in Nov.), I couldn't even speak her name for months(longest relationship I've ever had- "cept my Folks...) I live on the Rogue River & do a lot of kayaking, so all of the boat drivers (jet & mail boats- big "River traffic in the summer), are used to seeing me w/ my dog on the bow... I knew I had to get another kayaking buddy- or I'd be causing major floods downstream every time a boat pilot asked me where my dog was...
Little did I know, when I adopted "Bungee", that Schipperkees' are known as the "Belgian Boat Dogs" for centuries,. You'd have never known it the first time I took him kayaking tho. ' Griped' ... After about 5 min. he seemed to start enjoying himself, Good swimmer too. I just do the "Susan Summer's Thigh Master Grip" on him in the rappids, & the rest of the time,he's pretty much the co-pilot(lets me know when he wants to run on the gravel bar.. or swim. When he gets tired of running he starts swimming towards the boat. OK nuff for now , Hugs JudieComment
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not sure if i have a problem
gghs mom
Hi gghs mom,
Your post brings back memories when my kids were young. Littles ones can sure be taxing. I remember saying they were "sucking all the life out of me" when I was breastfeeding. Please talk to your doctor about how you are feeling. PP depression is SO common!! Does your husband jump in and try to help you out when he can? Tell him up front how you are feeling. Many moms take on the martyr role and won't even allow the dad to hold the baby, change the diaper, etc...not to say you are like this, just something I see at work all the time. And like Judie said, GET A BABYSITTER!! You need a time out! If you have a schedule where you plan ahead for some time to yourself, you'll have something to look forward to. Things won't feel so dismal. As far as the drinking, well sounds like you are trying to relieve some of the stress and pain. It never fixed anything for me, just made me feel terrible the next day. Hang in there and try to look at the positive. We are here for you!! GinaComment
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not sure if i have a problem
gghsmom
Hey gghsmom,
My drinking got really bad 15 years ago when my daughter was young and my now ex husband decided to go into business for himself (and was therefore pretty emotionally unavailable to me, and definitely not very available to help with childcare). I somehow had this crazy idea that he might notice how unhappy I was and do something differently. :rolleyes . Definitely, I was not living on the same plane of reality as most of the world!
At any rate. I ended up a single parent, and sometimes it seemed like drinking was the only thing that took away the pain and helped me "make it through the night". But as you are seeing, the alcohol becomes a pretty painful problem all by itself.
Kids need so much from you, both physically and emotionally--it is critical to follow Gina's advice and make time for yourself to do healthy and fun things for just you, so that motherhood doesn't "suck the life out of you"! And yes, do see your doctor, if you haven't already. My sister suffered from serious post-partum depression, and medication helped enormously. And the whole kid thing does get better, over time. My daughter is 16 now, and driving (both
and
) freeing me up a lot to redevelop my life, which is both scary and a relief. Maybe you can be smarter than me and get it together quicker than I did
Anyway, we're all here pulling for you! Don't feel too bad about your wine and martinis. Today is another day and you can try again. All of us have been there. I'm not proud of all the times I took care of my daughter while I was intoxicated, but I did take care of her, and she's a great kid, and I'm proud of her. I'm proud of me, too, just not proud of the drinking! Keep your chin up, kiddo!
Hugs,
KathyComment
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not sure if i have a problem
Gghsmom
GGSMom,
Haven't heard from you in a couple of days. Did you come to any conclusions from the thread? Please continue to post. We want to help!
-NinaComment
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not sure if i have a problem
Re: Gghsmom
I have been doing a bit better. Vowed to myself and my husband to cut down.. and i have. Only a drink or two a night on the weekends.. which begins promptly at 5 PM on Firday!! :rollin I want to focus on being a good Mom. I lov emy Mom and lov emy memories of her singing to me or readign me books or jusy being a good friend.. she still is... I want to be the same to my kids. Also 3 kids keep me BUSY!!! All the time! I am a bit stressed, but exercise seems to help. I am a bit stressed in my relationship with my husband, but we have had so many changes this past year. i'm sure it will pass. Now that DS is 4 mos, I am thinking much clearer.. not so sleep deprived.Comment
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not sure if i have a problem
Being told you have a problem
Hi,
This is my first post here and I'm terrified! I suffer from depression and have been advised by a counsellor that I saw that I am an alcoholic. I was gobsmacked! I know I like my few drinks and can be a 'messy' drunk, but I didn't think things were that bad?? I would describe myself as a 'destructive drinker' on occasion - sometimes I genuinely go out to intentionally get out of my mind, but I never thought it was something I couldn't control.
The reason I'm explaining all this is because I don't know if I should even be in this website but I'm a firm believer I do not need AA and could do this alone but I think I would like somewhere to go to chat while I'm trying to address this.
Is that ok?Comment
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