Ok here I go..

[Sunrise]

I'm feeling very unsure about this, feeling like I am not quite sure whether to knock on the door or to go away and come back another time. I have been cruising around this website for a few days. I have tried so many times to stop drinking and I keep failing. To me this has the risk of not succeeding again and I hate the thought of letting every one down, most of all myself...again. I have tried AA, I have been prayed for , with and over, I have tried all the diets especially the liver cleansing ones!! and I have taken antabuse and then stopped to drink again. I have promised my family FOR 21years that I will really try, so many times I dare not mention it againg because they will definitley not believe me... this addiction is so against my job as I should practise what i preach.... Do as I say, not as I do. I am supposed to be a role model.
I started as a teenager at 16. Drinking was all we could find to do and it was fun most of the time. Through Uni it was social, bonding and yep fun again. I married a drinker who also still drinks heavily today. It became our way of life. We were drunk when we got engaged! So now most days I drink one to two bottles of wine every evening. I have had one tonight. When will I stop? Do I want to? Yes. I want to not look forward to my first drink. I want to not think about it, not open it, drink it, regret it. I am my own worst enemy. My kids, all 3 have turned out great in spite of it all. Do they want me to stop? Yes definitely. We ALL know it is not good for my health. We all wonder why I can't stop..it should be simple shouldn't it? What a waste of money! No wonder I'm scrapping for change all the time. Where is this going to end? I am weak because surely if I really meant it I would try really hard and succeed. Also how can I get the book in a book shop or mail order because I don't have a card to buy on line. Cheers. Sunrise. A new begining is coming one day.

[CaptJBean]

Ok here I go..

You sound just like all of us when we first came here!
Via ARCA, out of Phx, AZ, I did a two day crash course and I finally tried the combination of Zofran, Naltrexone and Campral...that was prescribed for me... and it has worked!!!
I would highly recommend you try it, if all else fails... They have locations all over the world. It's a part of SMART.ORG the ABC's and REBT.
And of course, MWO...
keep us posted... you made a good choice.

[greeneyes]

Ok here I go..

First of all, :welcome: Your story will ring many bells for people here. I recall screeching up to the curb at my own wedding with a bridesmaid and throwing down the last of a bloody mary as people waited outside the locked garden gate to which I had the key. At least it was late afternoon. Had it been morning it probably would have been the same scenario and that was a long time ago.

Perhaps you can check the store here and see if you could send a money order or certified check since you don't have a card. Look up at the very top and see "Health Store".

Back to the key. You have your own key. Dig around in your pocket and look forit. Only you can figure out how to unlock the gate. However it may be. Good luck in your learning experience here and moving to freedom. :l

[Guest]

Ok here I go..

I need to get back to my studies soon but thought I would post a few succinct and sincere points. I am quite an analytical person, coming from a technical background so apologies if I come across as harsh in any way.

Ok, alcoholism is not about being weak willed in fact alcoholics are very strong and determined - they have to be to continue drinking and carry on with their lives at the same time. Will power alone doesn't work, it's about changing your outlook and how you approach your life. Firstly you need to get to a point where you really want to stop. This took me a long time personally and yes I tried everything including AA. I had to reach my end point - this was where I felt I couldn't take any more of my behaviour or drinking lifestyle. I then took practical steps to help me stop - for me it was rehab but many do stop at home sucessfully. Once the AL is out of your system (usually by day 10), your mind should start to clear and that's when you start to rebuild your life and work out how to live without AL. This can involve counsellors, psychotherapy and/or AA. Note about AA - it doesn't stop you drinking, you do that yourself but it does help you stay stopped.

I hope you can read this site, build up a good understanding of the problem/issues involved then get to the point where you know you are ready.