Repeating old patterns

[Margaritaville]

Repeating old patterns

CS04;335026 wrote: Margaritaville --I'm sorry your hubby is so selfish. Maybe he will come around in time. How old is your son? How are you doing on the drinking? What did your therapist suggest? I was AF last night and plan to be tonight.

Headless -- looks like you've been around a long time, like me. It takes a while sometimes, doesn't it. I hope this is finally IT (for me anyway). I hope you got thru yesterday but if not, there is always today.

This is going to be a rough weekend -- family funeral. I need to be strong for my mom.

Hi CS... My son is 13. I'm still AF. I didn't hit it off too well with the therapist; she is a 12 step person and wouldn't comment on any other alternatives like this program. So, won't be back to see her. I recommend that L-Glutimate. It calms you down and keeps you focused. I picked up Kudzu today as well. Got home and felt like drinking, took 4 of them and now I'm back to feeling fine. You can get these at GNC.

Hang in there.. .you can do this. Sorry to hear about your loss as well.

Take care,

[Guest]

Repeating old patterns

Margarite

Don't worry about the 12 steps - they can and are applied in lots of different ways across most of the recovery programmes/techniques available and they do work - you just need to find a way to use them yourself.

I didn't get them myself at first and hated AA, Minnesota model etc. Now I am sober I have a better understanding of what they mean - it's a sort of counselling/therapy programme but dressed up in flowery language.

First step is to remove AL........you know it makes sense.

[CS04]

Repeating old patterns

Feeling fragile

Been a rougb weekend. Fri. morning woke up nervous and teary about upcoming appt. with (new) psych. that afternoon. Went to appt.; basically she said "you need to go to AA, or an outpatient facility; stop drinking completely or any script for ADs is not going to work." I told her about MWO of course, and she kind of sniffed at it. "AA works; statistics prove it!" Well what can I expect from a dr. who has met me once. It was very one dimensional. I did get a script for an AD and some more Topa, though (which I can't really afford).

Meanwhile, hubby and baby and I went out to dinner, had a few beers but nothing major, and later that evening hubby and I talked about the dr., what she had said, about drinking patterns in general. (Oh yeah, also important -- dr said that hubby needs to stop drinking too and entire lives have to change -- I felt like she judged my whole past, present and future in the course of one hour.) I took a deep breath and asked hubby if he would consider having an AF night a couple of times a week with me, and he totally balked -- which I knew he would. He said "this is about you, not about me and not about us." So by 11:30 I felt really alone, by way of the dr. and then my husband...and then proceeded to move on to wine -- not a good thing. I know he is not really abandoning me, and I have all you guys so as to not be alone, but I sure would like this to be a teeny bit easier once in a while. I have mentioned wanting to do a 30, and am totally scared of even starting.

I have been very good about taking topa and supps all month....till this weekend. Haven't done any CDs in several days either. Had stepdad's funeral yesterday; drank but not too much at get-together afterward. Tiring, emotional day (well, I really did not let myself get emotional). Hubby's birthday is tomorrow so his family was here today for that. What do they bring as gifts? 3 nice expensive bottles of wine. I feel kinda tense and wish I could enjoy this sunshine. April sucked and May sucked and I don't want to have an awful summer. Now hubby just called to say that he is stopping at his brother's for a drink or 2 before coming home. Not what I wanted to hear.

[Thankful]

Repeating old patterns

CS ~ I'm so sorry you are going through such a rough patch right now. But your husband has a point. It is about you. If you want to quit then you can do it. It's hard when we live with someone else who drinks, but it's not impossible. I live with 3 other alcoholics. Two of them were actually upset that I was quitting for various reasons. The most important one is when a drinker quits it makes other drinkers have to look at themselves and they don't usually like what they see. But it's easier for them to try to sabotage vs try to help or join in the abstinence. I'm not saying your hubby would sabotage you, but please don't look at his drinking as an excuse for you to do so. If you want to be healthy and happy then only you can make this happen. Believe me beer was my krptonite and I am around it 24/7. The good news is that it really didn't take long for me to just come to grips with the fact that I like being happier more than I like getting a buzz. Ninety percent of this battle is about attitude. If you change your attitude, you can change your life.

Make June the best month you've ever had! We are here for you. I wish you the best of luck.

Love, Me
:l

[Seacailin]

Repeating old patterns

Why do they Minimize it?

Told my kids, who are 20 and 21 that I need help, and they say, naw, u been good. Wtf? I don't feel Good

[KateH1]

Repeating old patterns

CS- Lot's of great information and advice here. RJ strongly suggests that if you want to try to MOD, you must get at least 30 Days AF, under your belt first. This really makes sense, since truly being able to MOD means that you can take alcohol or leave it. No, guessing, No worrying about over doing it. A few people are able to MOD, many are not able to do this. I am one who cannot MOD. Yes, in the past, I could often go for weeks, seemingly OK with modding, but sooner or later, I crashed. It just isn't work it to me to live that way.

As for AA and the "Statistice".......I suggest you read "The Orange Papers". You will see that there really are NO Reliable Statistics on the success of AA. I am not saying that AA has not helped some people get sober, but the statistics do not exist.

I agree with the others here that suggest that you take a long hard look at drinking and get really honest with yourself. Set yourself up for success. We have seen so many that think that they can show up on this MB, perhaps take a supp or two or three, maybe order Topa and they are home free. There is so much more to this! If you haven't done so already, I suggest you download the book and read it!

Best of Luck,
Kate

[Thankful]

Repeating old patterns

CS, please go read the first post of this thread. It might help you to really see what I have been trying to tell you over the past couple of days. It's worded so much better. But please feel free to PM whenever you want, hun. I will be there for you always.


Worth reading again -- originally posted by Chief Posted by Tiny


Love, Me
:l:l

[CS04]

Repeating old patterns

Kate -- I downloaded the book over 2 years ago and have reread it many times. This May has been the only time that I have really "tried" to do smth about my drinking, with supps and Topa. I had 10 AF days in May (not consecutive, though) after years of daily driniking (except when pregnant).

Thankful, I also read Tiny/Chief's post. I just feel that I am missing a piece, and I don't know what that piece is. Is is something within me? Am I foolish to ask my husband for something he unable to give me? Everyone keeps saying "be brutally honest"and I feel like I have tried to be. If there is a message, why am I not hearing it? I sure as hell am doing a lot of reading looking for it!

[CS04]

Repeating old patterns

Hung over today and feeling really jittery and tingly and awful. Hubby's birthday is today and not sure of dinner plans. I hate Mondays.

[FloridaBoy]

Repeating old patterns

CS04;337203 wrote: Kate -- I downloaded the book over 2 years ago and have reread it many times. This May has been the only time that I have really "tried" to do smth about my drinking, with supps and Topa. I had 10 AF days in May (not consecutive, though) after years of daily driniking (except when pregnant).

Thankful, I also read Tiny/Chief's post. I just feel that I am missing a piece, and I don't know what that piece is. Is is something within me? Am I foolish to ask my husband for something he unable to give me? Everyone keeps saying "be brutally honest"and I feel like I have tried to be. If there is a message, why am I not hearing it? I sure as hell am doing a lot of reading looking for it!

The message has to come from within. If you can go w/o AL when you are pregnant you can do it now. So put on the headphones and listen.

[CS04]

Repeating old patterns

Floridaboy, I feel like you are always cheering me on (as are others, of course) -- thanks! I need to feel stronger, and though I feel much better physically today than yesterday, I feel pretty alone. Dr. gave me script for ADs so kinda nervous about going down that road. But maybe it will help.

[Seacailin]

Repeating old patterns

I FEEL LIKE SHIT TODAY AND I AM DONE. F ALCOHOL. I AM HAPPY THAT I FOUND U GUYS, BUT I AM STILL CONFUSED. WOULD RATHER GO HERBAL THAN ANTABUSE, BUT WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES

[Seacailin]

Repeating old patterns

I KNOW, POTTY MOUTH, BUT F--K I AM HURTING

[KateH1]

Repeating old patterns

Sea, Have you read the book?? I know I say this all the time, but, to make this work, that is the first step! I used and continue to use this program. I use only the supps and some other natural means that I have discovered. I chose not to use the drugs, my personal choice. It can be done, if you comitt and really give it your all!

Good Luck!
Kate

[Guest]

Repeating old patterns

I know I have been strong on here too, but I have fallen and have booked myself right back into rehab. I shall leave tomorrow so won't be able to post later.

Once again I am spending a lot of ?s and won't be able to earn whilst away. I am not prepared to let this get control again.