Husband is angry about wanting to quit

[Margaritaville]

Husband is angry about wanting to quit

cherbear44;334206 wrote: Hi Margaritaville,

I can relate to your position, except it was opposite for me. My husband and I have been drinking buddies for years, catching a buzz together as we discussed our day was a nightly ritual. But then one month ago he decided to give up the alcohol, and is one of the lucky ones who could do it on will power alone. I was not happy about this, because suddenly he was very aware of how much I was drinking, counting my drinks, commenting on it constantly, and I would get so pissed off and it caused a lot of fights. But it also brought a new awareness for me on how much I was drinking, and how it was affecting my home life.

If he had not stopped, I would not have stopped. I have only been sober for 2 days, but it's a start.

I think maybe your husband is afraid that if you make changes he will have to too, or risk losing you. Not many sober people are in happy relationships with a drinker. I don't know what the answer is, but looking after yourself is priority #1, whatever happens after that only time will tell.

Good luck to you - we are in this together!

I know he's afraid of losing me... last night he commented on how I looked nice (that was the first in quite awhile) and even picked flowers from the garden. He kept trying to convince me that 'everything's okay' etc. I'm not caving in. Even if I can at least moderate it'll slow him down too. I am beginning to believe that our entire relationship is based on booze. We never talk or relate to eachother unless we are drinking. Pretty sad.

I'm going to the therapist this afternoon..

[Peanut]

Husband is angry about wanting to quit

Hi Marg!!
My beau is quite an enabler, and although he does support me, I do believe he prefers me to be a drinker. I seem to be pretty boring when I don't drink, going to bed early, aways tired. But, when I had my AF streaks this past month, he didn't drink either!! I don't think him having a beer or two would have bothered me though. I am starting over again here, but feel so weak. Good luck in this battle. I am going to stop by the doctor office and see if I can get a prescription of Topa - see if that helps at all.
Be strong - I will try too!!
Peanut

[angeleyes]

Husband is angry about wanting to quit

Margaritaville,

Yes, you will probably see your relationship in a whole new light once sober. I am believing in you.

Can you believe this? I went to my Dr. and told her my sordid tale, and she would not - I repeat, SHE WOULD NOT prescribe the Topa for me. She seemed to think it was unnecessary, and that I could do it on my own. WTF??? I am so upset right now, I don't know what to do.

[Evie.Lou]

Husband is angry about wanting to quit

Be strong .You may find that your son is not the only one that you are setting a good example for.If your hubby sees you getting healthier and happier he may come along for the ride.Even if he does not , it is you that comes first.Blessings, EVIE

[Margaritaville]

Husband is angry about wanting to quit

Cher, sorry to hear about the doc not prescribing it for you... I'm thinking same will happen for me this Friday when I go.

Went to the counselor/therapist this afternoon, didn't go that well. Just didn't make a really good connection. Got home and hubby blasted me and started some crap. Of course, he's out there drinking away. My poor son, he doesn't need this kind of dysfunction. I am beginning to realize that our entire 9 year relationship has revolved around alcohol and I don't even know this man, nor do I want to be with him. It's not going to be easy, but I think this site and these boards are a Godsend, so thank you all for your posts and your stories and struggles. It helps me to know that I'm not the only one out there with the same problems (exact same in some instances LOL).

[Evie.Lou]

Husband is angry about wanting to quit

We are glad you are here.This sight offered me help when others turned their back on me.I am so GRATEFUL and I want to support you in your choice to be sober.No one is as important right now.Please be kind to yourself and just watch while the AF days start piling up .Stay strong and keep posting.I am Rooting for you...Evie

[Doggygirl]

Husband is angry about wanting to quit

Marg, I just wanted to pop in and let you know I am rooting for you. A spouse who doesn't want you to quit, and also a child to consider sure makes things trickier. One thing is for sure....drinking won't make any problems get better.

I'm rooting for you!

DG
*******

[lorisunshine]

Husband is angry about wanting to quit

Margarita,
This is your choice and it is for you and you only to decide. Of course you will encounter resistance because it scares the bejeezus out of your mate that there might be a different wind blowing in your house. They feel that this change is threathening them.
I wish you luck on your journey to sobriety.
Big Hugs.
Lori

[IAD]

Husband is angry about wanting to quit

I can see why your hubby would be angry about giving up drinking.....What !?! and give all this up !!!! LOL ! IAD !

[Margaritaville]

Husband is angry about wanting to quit

IAD;334601 wrote: I can see why your hubby would be angry about giving up drinking.....What !?! and give all this up !!!! LOL ! IAD !

Hahahaa!!! I needed that! :H

[JerseyGirl2008]

Husband is angry about wanting to quit

Hey I know how your husband feels I think, although I can't express it to my husband. He is on coumadin and has to stop drinking. It is part of our lifestyle - we have our most fun out at bars and clubs or just out for a meal with a drink. I hate to give that up...

[JerseyGirl2008]

Husband is angry about wanting to quit

IAD;334601 wrote: I can see why your hubby would be angry about giving up drinking.....What !?! and give all this up !!!! LOL ! IAD !

Not sure what is funny there? Lots of sterotypical black symbols but nothing alcoholic? What's up with that?

[DixieFriedChick]

Husband is angry about wanting to quit

cherbear44;334353 wrote: Margaritaville,

Yes, you will probably see your relationship in a whole new light once sober. I am believing in you.

Can you believe this? I went to my Dr. and told her my sordid tale, and she would not - I repeat, SHE WOULD NOT prescribe the Topa for me. She seemed to think it was unnecessary, and that I could do it on my own. WTF??? I am so upset right now, I don't know what to do.

Get yourself a new doctor. I didn't have any luck when I tried Topomax, but your doctor should be supportive and offer to write the prescription when you tell them of your need!! And I definitely think some men have control issues when it comes to you changing your ways! If you are both big drinkers and you decide to change your ways, they start to feel like "Hey, she is going in a different direction, I may not have her where I want her anymore!"

[Bashley]

Husband is angry about wanting to quit

margarita vile

I am still married to my "drinking buddy".
I love her dearly but cannot walk the same road any more -that's just the way it is when your'e an ALCOHOLIC.
There I've said it
Stick around, you are in the right place
Bashley XXXX

[ownbestfriend]

Husband is angry about wanting to quit

I don't know. My partner also seemed unimpressed when I began talking about not drinking. I think that mine worries I will see him in a different light when sober day after day (or is that night after night!!) and that I will leave. I think he thinks that my feeling bad about drinking, keeps me weak, which keeps me needing him. End of the day ... the truth probably is I would not be with him if my self esteem weren't so low and it remains low because of the loathing when you go AF for a day then drink again. So have a look at all that stuff and go with your gut and get your counselling and find some friends/family who want what you want for your life and yourself. Maybe try writing down (just for you) all the things you want your life to be. Keep it somewhere safe and read it often. Actually, I might do the same!! Don't give up and Thank You for your post. It has just made me think again about my own relationship! Bless. Keep looking inside of yourself!!