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I found you guys in a web search. This all sounds very interesting.

I have been drunk for 5 years straight now. 12 beers and over each night. I have stopped going out in public because I am always drunk.

My life.....I wake up...feel horrible, depressed, scared...pop a few klonopin...and head off to work. 4 PM hits and I start drinking....kill about 5 or 6 at work, then head home where I polish off more. Once I am good and wasted, I crawl in bed and pass out.

I have looked into AA but everything seems to revolve around finding God. I believe in God, but I don't think God is the one who caused my destructive drinking.

The only time I feel if I am in control or have power to face life is when I am drunk. How do I take this power while wasted and funnel it to power in a sober state?

Anyone else have these feelings?

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Hey 12 pk, welcome aboard, You sound a lot like someone I know very well...My "Evil Twin". My Husband, hates her, but I guess he loves me, because he married me, even knowing of her existence.
It was actually 1 month ago to this day, that I was a shakey, sweaty, nervous, wreck. We were on our way to visit my In-laws, I was certain it would be a week of disaster.
I'd been on a 12pk a day bender for probably 10 to 12 days, which for someone 5' 1", is plenty...Plus the fact that when I drink like that I can't eat. Amazing how sick we can make ourselves, thinking we're trying to "feel good"...
Sorry, didn't mean to ramble there, but I do know (I think, sorta what you're going thru). Try and hang in & read some of these posts, it might help.
I'm taking the supplements & Topamax now, It's only been a month, but what a world of a difference! I was feeling so desperate, I felt like I was in a cycle I couldn't stop. Don't ever believe that. The first couple of days can be a bit rough, but nothing we can't get thru. There's a lot of support here. Hope you stick around ...
It gets soooo much better! Hugs Judie

PS I've been a pretty serious drinker for about 30 yrs
So this program, if it can work for me... that's a miracle...

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Newbie hope I am posting this right

Re: newbie

I am noticing many here still are drinking. I am yet to order the book and CD's but plan on it today. Is that part of the program that you can still drink?

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The program is all very individual. Some, here are going for complete abstinance, while others(like myself,except for this month- see the March Madness thread...), are shooting for moderation.
That's the beauty of this thing, it kinda takes off the pressure of counting your sobriety date (like in AA), or having to "start"completly over, if you slip.
I'm just enjoying the support & friendship I've found here. If you want some good light reading check out our new "Laughing out Loud" thread, it's just down below the "Just starting out", scroll down... Also "hiding alcohol is quite entertaining. I think it's under 'Just starting out" or "General Discussion" . Again, Welcome.
Hugs Judie..... From one Newbie to another!

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Welcome, 12 pack!
Just keep reading, reading, reading! You will find many others with similar stories and situations...when you thought you were the only one!!
My story was a little different. I didn't drink every day, but if I started, look out! Not remembering going to bed was my specialty, sorry to say, some days. All in the name of "having fun" or like Judie said "feeling good". Yeah, right. The next morning was especially delightful... blah....
My goal is moderation as well, but doing the abstainance for 1 month thing first. When I first started, I thought, no way in
H--, I never thought it possible. Ever. I made 10 days straight as of last week, then had a few days where I had no more than 2 or 3 drinks each day, now back to none for the 4th day.
YOU CAN DO THIS!
Don't feel like you have to go cold turkey. Order your book today, get some supplements, make a dr. appt., just start getting familiar. It will soon become part of your routine.
Like Kel said "I carry this computer around like an i.v."
OH WELL, at least it's not a steady flow of wine!!:eek :rollin
good luck!
Becca

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Welcome 12 pack!

First of all -- hope you dont think this is an all women's site since it is mainly women who post. There are some men on here too, we just dont hear as much from them, although we wish we did! I think women just like to talk more... what's new??

A few things to think about... one: Do you think you can have the strength to make a doctor appointment and discuss the fact that you have a drinking problem with your doctor? This is a hard thing to do, but I finally did it, and am so glad I did. Got the prescription written, told them about this program, etc. I think you would be pleasantly surprised that you will NOT shock them. IF you dont, then I would go ahead and order the Topamax off-shore. There is a website for that and you dont need a prescription. It will help curb your desire for alcohol and help you moderate your intake.

Secondly, you mentioned that the only time you feel you have any power to face life is when you are drunk. Can you remember back to before you had a drinking problem to any pleasures in life that you really enjoyed that you have now had to give up because you are too drunk? What about your relationships? Have any close relationships suffered? Have your finances suffered due to the alcohol trap?

When I asked myself those tough questions, I began to realize how NOT IN CONTROL I was. I had NO savings, my marriage was on the rocks, I never wanted to go out at night because it infringed on my drinking schedule and others would see, I was setting a terrible example for my teenagers, I had given up many activities that I once loved because they had all fallen by the wayside of my drinking. Drinking becomes your "god" so to speak and your whole life revolves around it. That is not you being in power, that is it having power over YOU. Hopefully it is enough to make you want to do whatever it takes to break free of the hold it has over you. And no, you dont have to go cold turkey and totally stop drinking while doing this program. But if I were you, I would sit down and set some very realistic and attainable goals that you CAN meet that will get you quickly to a place of moderation and hopefully a period of abstinence. Once you can do that, then maybe you can find a place of moderation at some point to "enjoy" beer, rather than it dominate you life.

Just some thoughts... welcome again!!
Allie

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Becca;

You are so inspirational! Still "Nuts", But luv ya the way you are!

Brandy

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Hi

Hi I have been like others lurking and reading the posts. I have the book, read some and then tried on my own.... sounds familiar?? I had very few drinks in a 1 month period (Feb ) as my health became an issue. ??For some reason my liver enzymes were awful, but on ultra sound did not look bad. The specialists were ready to do a biopsy of my liver. Then, after further discussion I could say that maybe it wasn't only the result of drinking lots and lots of wine over the past 10 years, but infact the result of taking too much tylenol. Big lesson and a gift. My liver enzymes were in the 750 range and 30 is considered normal. Did alcohol have an affect I would say yes.

The good news is my liver looks beautiful and I had a month more or less without wine. Now becomes a new story.... I did it, so why would I want to engage in the same activity again. Well, the habit is alive and well and drinking a couple glasses a wine have already crept up.

I am curious if others have been successful with moderate drinking and if this is with the medication topomax...or are there others who have been successful without the medications.

Is there a thread or discussion regarding success on moderation as this would be my goal.

Also, I am curious if the live chat is ever used ?? the times that I have checked it has been quiet.

Thanks for the site and all the information it has certainly helped me get through alot and learn alot and begin to feel and be healthy.

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hi! i like you have been diagnosed with liver problems,did it make me stop drinking? well for a few weeks yes,then it crept up again and got really bad!:rolleyes but with the support of the guys on here i'm doing the march madness and am today on day 7!:rollin can't beleive i've done it! this works! good luck and keep posting! jenny

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Re: moderation and supplements

Hi, I found it so scary that my liver was not well and now after 1 month of healthy living it is better. I am curious how the program works for moderation? or will it only work if you quit entirely. I have found anyone talking about moderation and ways to keep healthy. Or is the only way to keep a healthy liver is just to have no alcohol at all. I am worried to take the supplements as they also have an imact on your liver, so I am trying to do this without any supplements or medications.
Does any have any ideas or information about doing it without.

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Re: moderation and supplements

Mystic,

Thus far I am doing with out any suppliments. I do however take Klonopin for my anxiety disorder so that might be helping me. Dunno. Mind you I was taking the same dose of it with 15 beers a day and the past 3 have been havic on my system...but all seems to be balancing for me. I would consult your doctor on medications especially with your liver concerns.

OMG, did you not ever read the Tylonol bottles? Please do not take that wrong for I never would have unless someone told me. Years ago back in college, we had a speaker come into our fraternity to do the alcohol awareness thing. They told us whatever we did, never take Tylonol when, or after drinking. It will destroy your liver. Since that day I only have taken regular Asprin for pain relief. Gee, I could have stoped drinking and taken Tylonol..but what fun would that be? LOL. Even not drinking I would never touch that product just because of the liver issue.

I am going for moderation at some point....then if it does not work then I will have to abstain....so shall see...it is all what we can manage as individuals.

Oh, and last night there were three of us in chat!

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Hi 12 pac, Yes I wish someone anyone told me about the tylenol and the affect on livers. But, this may have given me the gift to change habits. I had no choice as if my liver didn't improve then it would mean a liver biopsy...or an indication that I have a nasty disease. The amazing part is that in 1 month everything is now normal, and I have cut back on the wine by at least 75 %. This is why I am curious if moderation will be an option and will I need to watch my every move as I am doing now?? Or will I be able to maintain via the supplements. I haven't read the whole book yet but is it expected that you will be on medication and or supplements forever?? I hope others read about not taking tylenol while having any alcohol as it really is toxic. What time do people hang out in "chat"Thanks so much for the reply this site is definitly encouraging.

Mystic

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Mystic,
I've never taken tylenol much, always ibuprofen. I had elevated liver enzymes as well. Just stopping drinking lowered my enzymes. However I did find out after further test on my liver that I do have a "nasty disease". I tested positive for hepatitis C. Maybe something you want to think about if your doctor didn't test for this. I would never have known I have it except for seeing my doc for topa and she ran liver tests because of my drinking.

Marcie

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Marcie,
Thanks for the response. Yes they did test for hepatis A and C and I am lucky that they are negative. They "the doc's" are saying that my liver issues were a combination of alcohol, tylenol and given that the numbers are NOW within the normal limits and I should have been very very ill before. The reason for my illness would be a virus that directly affected my liver. The symptoms during this period 6-9,months that I had, were significant joint pain hense the need for tylenol. I tried ibprofen but it did not cause any relief. The sad part for me is...I never really ever ever took tylenol before this period and did not know the impact. Therefore, during the saga that I did not feel well, I took tylenol and probably a little more wine as I could therefore sleep without pain nor had joint pain throughout the day. I never ever knew that the combo of wine and tylenol would be so toxic. Note to many others

Now, after the reality check of having so many factors that would hurt my body. Alcohol (wine) should be a no issue in my life, however this is the hardest part I am now considered to have normal results, (it was a real reality check when I was so unwell and easier to not). However, does that mean,I can enjoy a glass of wine or 3 on a work night or do I have to begin the hard journey. Or maybe not so hard and do I have to worry about the affects of K root and the other supplements or would it be best to take the road and meet yet another dr. and being everything? Which would include meds, supplements and not worry about my liver and not beat myself up about what is-----moderation. After feeling like I have met so many people (dr's) and they analysized my liver and lifestyle do I yet again take the road to have more intervention and help or can I do it on my own. ( Asking out loud must mean that I do want to ask for yet another Dr. ..or am I doing okay?)

Thanks for listening,
Mystic

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moderation & supps

Hey there, Mystic. You could always put the question on Dr. Garcia's "post site". And see what they think...
Good luck Judie