Hi Everybody,
I'm not a stranger to the drinking problem. I'm a 39 year old female and have been drinking off and on for many years. I have not been able to kick the habit for good. Sometimes I'm able to stay off the drink for months on time, then I go straight back into the hole. Getting out of the hole is so darn hard. I have been drinking since Friday. Today is my first day off again and I feel lousy, a feeling that I had countless times before...Why do we keep doing it??? Why don't we learn from the last time??? Why do we torture ourselves?? I'm so sad and also mad at myself. This is how my drinking cycle works: I will have a large bottle of wine with my husband on Friday night. I feel guilty on Saturday and decide to buy beer. Then husband and I will down a 24-pack and three large bottles of beer. Sunday I feel even guiltier and the drinking continues. I will usually drink a total of 6 beers on Monday just to get over the guilty feeling and hangover. Tuesday I start feeling "normal" again. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday I feel on top of the world again and the cycle starts over. I have yet to make it through a Friday night without touching the drink. Even when I tell my husband that I would like to stay off it, he ends up bringing drink into the house, usually a bottle of wine for dinner. I have done the same. We enable each other (he is trying to stay off it as well). We have stayed off together for months before but after feeling better, we started over again. Also, we have cut back before and it usually works for a while. What triggers us to suddenly overindulge again? I'm devastated. Worst thing is, I'm a student and I went to college drunk yesterday. I think the other students and my teachers noticed. I'm so embarrassed. I also have kids and they behave better than me! Help!
I'm not a stranger to the drinking problem. I'm a 39 year old female and have been drinking off and on for many years. I have not been able to kick the habit for good. Sometimes I'm able to stay off the drink for months on time, then I go straight back into the hole. Getting out of the hole is so darn hard. I have been drinking since Friday. Today is my first day off again and I feel lousy, a feeling that I had countless times before...Why do we keep doing it??? Why don't we learn from the last time??? Why do we torture ourselves?? I'm so sad and also mad at myself. This is how my drinking cycle works: I will have a large bottle of wine with my husband on Friday night. I feel guilty on Saturday and decide to buy beer. Then husband and I will down a 24-pack and three large bottles of beer. Sunday I feel even guiltier and the drinking continues. I will usually drink a total of 6 beers on Monday just to get over the guilty feeling and hangover. Tuesday I start feeling "normal" again. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday I feel on top of the world again and the cycle starts over. I have yet to make it through a Friday night without touching the drink. Even when I tell my husband that I would like to stay off it, he ends up bringing drink into the house, usually a bottle of wine for dinner. I have done the same. We enable each other (he is trying to stay off it as well). We have stayed off together for months before but after feeling better, we started over again. Also, we have cut back before and it usually works for a while. What triggers us to suddenly overindulge again? I'm devastated. Worst thing is, I'm a student and I went to college drunk yesterday. I think the other students and my teachers noticed. I'm so embarrassed. I also have kids and they behave better than me! Help!
ray:
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