My third user name - my third try

[JerseyGirl2008]

Hey - not going to get all dramatic, don't need to tell the same story again...

I am back for the third time and want to know is it possible to moderate? Or do I just need to give up the fantasy?

[Cinders]

My third user name - my third try

JG,

It depends....

On your kind of alcohol abuse and your body.

For many here, it is possible, for many others, it is not.

You must search your heart and soul for the answer.

Love,
Cindi

[My New Beginning]

My third user name - my third try

It might be possible for you but not for me. They say try 30 days AF and then think about the moderation. I haven't reached 30 days yet but I'm trying.

All the best to you.

Love and Peace

[charlee]

My third user name - my third try

JG
I too would suggest going for the 30 day AF stint, and then cross the moderation bridge when you get to it. Moderation is possible for some....Best of luck with your goals....

[caysea]

My third user name - my third try

I had tried cutting back had rules in place for my mod did not work for me.I wasn't giving the 100% that was required to be in control.I didn't place the importance on the effort that is required. I am af 13 days now after 2 years of trying to mod. It feels great and this is after over 40 years of A abuse I find it easier to not have one than to have one or two and try to stop their. Plus I find myself not going to palces that all you or other people do is drink. Such as going to the bar for ONE , rafting up in the boats Sat AM and drinking all day.My lifestyle has gone back to the way it was before I got way to involved with drinking. Back to working out, tennis , biking and an active lifestyle. These are not the activities I would be doing with my drinking buddies.To be af and change lifestyle or mod and continue what you are doing can only be answered by you

Stay Healthy

[Doggygirl]

My third user name - my third try

Hi Jersey Girl. I think I remember you. I've been in and out of MWO, and my head in and out of the Booze Bottle for about 10 months now. ITA with others who have said that only you can figure out whether moderation is a real possibility for you, or a fantasy designed by the addicted part of your brain in order to Get A Fix. (The Booze Beast Talking)

Here is my experience, to whatever degree it's helpful.

I KNEW I had a serious problem and found MWO around the first of July 2007. On July 11, I went AF and stayed that way for 60 days. The first month was difficult in many ways (many, many thoughts of drinking every day, trouble sleeping, adjusting to fill all that former drinking time with other things, etc.) Things gradually got easier, and I was really, really happy to have the monkey off my back. Or at least I was getting that monkey detached from my back.

At 60 days AF that Beast in my brain started the "maybe we CAN moderate!" talk and I fell for it. Guess how many days it took for my head to be RIGHT back in the bottle drinking daily and at my former levels? I believe it was 3 days. Then I had a couple more false starts.

So the answer for me, which I really knew in my heart all along, is that I am addicted to alcohol and moderation is not an option.

If you are the person I'm thinking of, I think you are still pretty young? (comparatively - I'm 50). In addition to reasons you might have now to quit, such as not embarassing yourself, or risk DUI's and those types of things....think about your life WITH alcohol and how it will be years down the road. In addition to continued concerns such as embarrassment, etc. AL starts taking a really serious and obvious physical toll.

Best wishes as you do your soul searching to find your own answer for yourself. We are here for you.

DG
********

[Chief]

My third user name - my third try

Hi Jerseygirl,

If this is your 3rd username and your 3rd attempt at quitting, I think you have already answered the question....

Just give it up. Stop the battle. You will find it's much easier to quit drinking than to keep quitting....

The constant, daily torture we go through when trying to "control" our drinking is what makes us feel weak, stigmatized, and a failure. We start to think we can never win this battle, and some just surrender to it and "accept" the fact they are hopeless drunks who can never quit.

The reality IS we can never win this battle. So you stop the battle. You step out of the ring. You stop the insanity. If you've proven time after time you can't control drinking once you start, then the obvious solution is to never start. If you don't drink 1, you won't drink 12...it's easy to drink 0 or 12....it's impossible to drink 2.

So, why don't you just let it go....just let it go. There are 2 sides to this battle.....you and The Beast...but if you refuse to step into the ring with him, there can be no battle......you can just watch The Beast walk around the ring alone, with his head down, pouting because there's no one to play with.....

Welcome back....


Don

[Margaritaville]

My third user name - my third try

JerseyGirl2008;334754 wrote: Hey - not going to get all dramatic, don't need to tell the same story again...

I am back for the third time and want to know is it possible to moderate? Or do I just need to give up the fantasy?

Jersey:

You replied to my thread about how my husband is upset about me stopping because he'll lose his drinking buddy, and how you understood because you're kind of in the same boat.

Now that I have a clear head, I think back and cannot remember a time when we did "NOT" drink... Our entire relationship, friendships, hobbies, etc., have all revolved around alcohol. Now that I have stopped, I am thinking to myself, "where the hell have you been?". I have missed so much life by traveling through it in an alcohol induced stupor, sometimes remembering things, and sometimes not.

You will only do this when you're ready. I'm just starting out, but let me tell you when you start thinking with a clear head, you'll feel much better even though you might be faced with some tough choices.

I wish you the best :h

[Tiny]

My third user name - my third try

Don,

Those are some profound suggestions -- wow! makes sense!

welcome Jersey!

[evie]

My third user name - my third try

:welcome:Jerseygirl!
The main thing is you are back.
I suppose it boils down to whether life is better with or without AL. The phrase 'the grass is always greener' comes to mind. It can appear that people can relax and enjoy a drink but the truth is they leave it there (if they have no al problem). If you (like me) have an addiction then the grass is so not greener, but a mud bath.
So glad you have come back for support..
Evie

[sammys]

My third user name - my third try

Jersey, stick with us no need to keep changing names. Its a journey we are here to help not judge.

No more changing names just be yourself, be here and be strong.

Sammys

[evie]

My third user name - my third try

Yes I agree with sammys,
we are all here with the same problem so there is no need to hide, even if we fail eh? The main thing is to get up and try again.
All the very best
Eviex