I'm new here

[amplifier]

Hello. This is my first post. I have been AF for 5 days. It hasn't been pleasant because my depression has been bad for 10 days. I really want to drink, but mostly out of boredom. I guess there just isn't anything fun left to do. I am so uninspired and being a musician , that really sucks. I work 4-midnight and then what? I should be playing my guitar, but the A is an expressway to pleasure...helpppppppp!!!!!

[Cinders]

I'm new here

Amplifier.

:welcome:

After a bit of time the depression from alcohol should lift.

5 days is a great start and by the end of 10 you feel much better.

Looking forward to learning more about you and seeing you around,

Cindi

[kaddy]

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just to say welcome and well done on day 5

[Military-Lass]

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I was wondering about the depression. - I have a weekend binge drinking issue and by wednesday normally find myself pee-ing like a horse and just wanting to spend the day in bed (I go to bed at 9 on Monday and Tuesday so I have no time to drink!) But how grumpy can you get! - By Friday I feel myself again - just in time to fall off the wagon.
Have started Yoga on a friday night so I can drink until 8pm - but have increasingly found reasons not to go.
Am going on a 3 week holiday next month with hubby kids sister-in-law(How drinks very moderately) and Mother-In-Law who is a full blown Alcoholic in denial. - I need to straighten myself out before that!
Sorry this post wasn't about me- apologies Amplifier - just the depression bit struck a chord.

[cuckoosnest83]

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dolphin my feelings are hurt.

amplifier, the depression has been hard for me to deal with too. Someone on the site recommended St. Johns Wort which seems to help me. Please hang around and post, go into chat, whatever you can to relieve the boredom and not think about drinking. Look forward to seeing you on the boards.

Cuckoos

[Doggygirl]

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Hi amplifier and welcome! I would like to suggest that you go easy on yourself in terms of assessing your creativity for music and fun while sober until you get a bit more time AF (alcohol free) under your belt. I'm not sure how long you were a big drinker, but if you drank even half as much and as long as I did, your body is going through some MAJOR changes right now. There is withdrawl going on - even if the symptoms aren't such that you require medical supervision.

Have you considered downloading the My Way Out book from the Health Store section here at MWO? If not, I highly recommend it. Very good investment of $12.95 and you can get the PDF file on your computer right away - no waiting around for a delivery. You might find as you read it that we have really depleted our bodies nutritionally and need to heal. I'm also finding daily exercise to be a huge help - and believe me, I used to get a rash just thinking about exercise!!

I'm also guessing that drinking must not have been TOTALLY fun...otherwise you probably wouldn't be here?? It's not easy, but it's worth it.

Best wishes! Read and post lots!

DG
*************

[caseaday]

I'm new here

Amplifier...

I am a "creative" too so I understand right-brained people. In fact, I was actually afraid of going AF because I thought my work would suffer and that I would lose clients! I was totally wrong!

My guess is that you are caught in a very bad cycle right now that happens to many creative people that suffer from depression.

I.e. Depression leads to boredom which leads to drinking which leads to a temporary "fun/high" which leads to hangover which leads to depression which leads to boredom which leads to drinking which leads to...

Sound familiar? The problem that you have is that you can't deal with the depression until you eliminate the drinking. I.e. A doctor can't put you on enough Zoloft to counter the amount of AL that you are putting in your system.

My advice is to continue AF for 30 days and see how you feel. Then you can decide whether you need to get to a doctor for antidepressants or not. Also, you can start using Sam-E. Take 200 mg two times a day. It works very well for depression.

[Mad Mummy]

I'm new here

Hi Amplifier

Good to hear from you and congrats on 5 days - I think it hits all of us just how much time AL takes up in our lives. Thinking about it, drinking it, recovering from the hangover etc and it does leave a hole.

I agree with all the above, don't be too hard on yourself and just try thinking of something different to do out of your usual routine, exercise is good - just a gentle walk/jog maybe or cycle or swim?

Come back on here and keep posting there's always someone around!

Bx

[angeleyes]

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What is Sam-E?? I think I need some of that.

[Thankful]

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Welcome, Amplifier ~ I have to echo what many have said already. Give yourself some time to adjust. And get more consecutive AF days under your belt.

I really thought I suffered from depression for years only to find out it was AL really messing up my moods. A few weeks AF made a world of difference. Omega Fish oil really helps with moods as well. I highly recommend it.

Good luck! We are here for you.

Love, Me
:l

[amplifier]

I'm new here

Thanks for all your encouragement here. I have been a depressive since I was about 13. I was A free in college for a few years (college of all places!) when I had full blown depressive episodes that required meds. I have been hospitalized for depression 3 times in the last 14 years. I do know that the A contributes to this more so. I know my med doesnt work as effectively either. I am not an everyday drinker. I binge 2-3 times a week. I do exersize regularly and have been for years. It's the one discipline I have. I also tend to drink alone at home because of my work schedule. In fact I always drink at home. I rarely drink when I play with my band at bars cause I like to be more at the top of my game. So I guess you could call me an anti-social/ binge/backwards/peculiar drinker. I think what has made me drink is FEAR. People will say I am great at my music but I am afraid of having to be better and up to MY standards. I am very self critical and I try not to B.S. myself. Even when I drink I go through thoughts of "why the hell am I doing this?" and "you know you have to stop completely if you want to be at the top of your game" I'm beginning to think that I cannot do this alone and I sometimes wish I could have an intervention by friends and family. Most of them don't even know I drink the way I do.

[amplifier]

I'm new here

Alcohol is simply the device between success and failure. This is what I keep thinking!!!

[Wolf Dreamer]

I'm new here

Hi Amplifier, I'm new here too. You really "struck a chord" (No pun intended :H) when you said you are very self critical. Sometimes I am very hard on myself too and I have to remember to cut myself some slack, pat my own back. Try to be kind to myself. My sister says it's good to pamper yourself every now and then and right now every day I go AF I try to give myself some sort of little treat. It could be a special food I like, a bubble bath, manicure etc. Even just positive self talk (out loud) telling myself I'm doing great and just take it one day at a time. Lots of support here and nice people.
Glad you're here.
WD