Doing a 30 or ODAT?

[CS04]

I know we all have different approaches, and I know that the recommended approach is 30 days AF before attempting to mod (if at all). Last month I would have about 3 days a week AF but nothing consistent or consecutive. I am taking supps and Topa; am up to 75 mg. I am scared of doing a 30 but feel that if I don't say anything about this possible plan (to hubby, mostly, who drinks also) then I have an out. It's like going on a diet but not telling anyone -- then no one can criticize you for having the cheeseburger or the ice cream. Am I setting myself up for failure by planning/trying a 30? Does this make any sense? i suppose the simplest way of looking at it is just making a plan and sticking with it. Why is that so hard? The flip side of the argument, then, am I using ODAT as an excuse.

I feel like I am rambling and not asking the question I want to ask. Not even sure what the question is anymore.

[Peanut]

Doing a 30 or ODAT?

30 days but still ODAT

I know exactly what you mean. I said that May would be my 30 days, and didn't succeed, but started going ODAT. Now, I have a plan for 30 day of June, but even with that plan, I think I still have to take it One Day at a Time - even if I plan to be AF for 30 days. Think of today, get through today, tomorrow is another day. One step at a time!!!! The next thing you know - we are at 30 days!!! What day are you on now??? I am on day 3, but trying to just relax and take it easy this time, as last time, I obsessed so much, all I wanted to do was drink!!! Made it so much harder.
Peanut

[Doggygirl]

Doing a 30 or ODAT?

CS, congratulations on being here, and being willing to try and to ask lots of questions. You are in good company - while we are a diverse group in so many ways, we share problem drinking in common.

I believe you are right that different approaches work for different people. So I can only speak to what has worked better for me...though I'm not yet the success I intend to be - success for me is an AF life.

One day at a time gives me too easy of an excuse to drink. "oops...I missed it today so I'll try again tomorrow. Oops...repeat." I think for others, maybe there is maybe a sense of pressure about a 30 day goal that is too much - too daunting.

The reason I choose to focus on 30 days at a time is that as each day goes by, I have a sense of something bigger and bigger - better and better that I will give up if I choose to drink.

Yikes - so many mind games go into this!! The most important thing is to find what works for you. That might take some trial and error. But don't let "I need some trial and error time" become your excuse to drink either.

The Booze Beast is a tricky one.

I can also relate to keeping the goal to yourself so if you decide you'd rather drink, no one knows you let yourself down. But that is the key....first and foremost you will let your own self down if you decide not to drink - then change your mind.

I finally got brave enough to tell Mr. Doggy and even some close friends about my plans for an AF life, and also my struggles getting there. It sure helps me feel more accountable about it.

Well....now just babbling on. Bottom line? We really can all do this if we really want it bad enough, and are smart about using the tools to help us get there.

DG
Day 13 AF and doggone it, this better be the last time!!
*************

[Thankful]

Doing a 30 or ODAT?

CS ~ you are making more sense than you think. We all get it. We've all been there. Take a deep breath.

I'm not sure if you are aware of it, but a darling member here named Wonderworld, started a thread for those just starting out called Days 1-30 "Hello Sober Living". It has members just like you who are starting out and are having some trouble. They all talk each other through and they have made one hell of a little support system for themselves. You would be more than welcome to join. You will find a lot of love and understanding and inspiration there.

Best of luck to you. We are here for you.

Love, Me
:l

[CS04]

Doing a 30 or ODAT?

I am on day 1 again. Had some success with May, but June 1st was absolutely awful. Hubby knows about MWO but doesn't want to share any AF evenings with me. So I am in my corner alone (with you guys after dinner, that is, but it makes the whole thing harder at home).

Thankful, I have seen Wonderworld's thread. Maybe this is the time. I'm just so sick of being uptight and scared (like you, Peanut). This is just so damned pervasive.

[Thankful]

Doing a 30 or ODAT?

CS ~ Just an after thought...have you ever read the "Just Like A Swimming Pool" thread? It's the very first thread at the top of General Discussion. It's well worth the read. Hopefully you can find some inspiration there.

Love, Me
:l

[CS04]

Doing a 30 or ODAT?

Thankful, you must be reading my mind (or the posts I have read) -- I actually printed up that one late one night last November. It is so true, yet sticking the big toe in is still so scary. Why do we have such fears.

[tlrgs]

Doing a 30 or ODAT?

hi there C4 you are making a good start and dont worry about your hubby not wanting to go af with you .yes it does make it harder but doable with al being in the house .. but its all in your hands to decide to drink or not to drink that is the question..you can do this and you have to want to do this for yourself..its not going to be easy but to tell you the truth nothing in life ever truthly is . working hard and thinking and over thinking, learning the best way for yourself thats where it all starts
peace , love and god bless

[Cinders]

Doing a 30 or ODAT?

CS,

I agree with tlrgs and Thankful. You can do this. Stick your toe in the water and go for it.

AL in the house is hard, omg, I know!!!

But, like I tell my daugthter (struggling with this, too) only she or I am responsible for that first drink.

Do we want it? Oh, heck yes. Do we NEED it? Oh HELL no.

It hurts us, kiills us, damages loved ones around us....

Try to visualize the bottle/can/box as pure poison. Hannah gave me that idea on another thread. It is poison to us. Pure and simple.

Do you drink poison on purpose? I think not.

Sorry to ramble. It is very late here, or early, however you look at it and I am awake, tired and hurting. However, AL has no place in here.

Love,
Cindi

[CS04]

Doing a 30 or ODAT?

I think I am going to have to lay the cards on the table for hubby, or I will not be able to make any real progress toward AF. I hope I have not wasted the month of May. I am very concerned about my depression and I know hubby is too. Maybe I will just have to jump in the swimming pool.

[Thankful]

Doing a 30 or ODAT?

CS ~ Are you taking any herbs and vitamins with the Topa? If not, you should try some. I think it will greatly help with your mood. But I have to say, the depression will not go away until the booze does. Alcohol is a depressant and that's a scientific medical fact.

You can do this, CS. With each new post from you, I can see you getting a little more stronger. A little more bolder. It's all about attitude, hun. You seem to be coming out of that dark shell. Good for you.


Love, Me
:l

[CS04]

Doing a 30 or ODAT?

I am taking the vits and supps as originally laid out in RJ's book, as well as the Topa and L-glut -- but I'm almost out of some of them. Got a script for citalopram but waiting for insurance glitch to clear. I still feel like I'm in the dark shell, but I hope to be better by this evening.

[CS04]

Doing a 30 or ODAT?

Had a good conversation with hubby tonight -- told him that I would like to plan to do a 30. I feel much better -- let's hope I feel the same way tomorrow and the day after that. He recognizes that I have been making strides to cut back on drinking. I think there are some deeper issues for us that need to be resolved, but if I can tackle this, and the depression, for now, then that will be a huge hurdle.

[tlrgs]

Doing a 30 or ODAT?

thats awesome you can do this.... good luck peace and god bless

[Sam Handwich]

Doing a 30 or ODAT?

I second that ... make sure your hubby is part of the plan - then, there will be no guilt of hiding things. It already seems like he understands, so use him as support ---- after all, that's what spouses should be best at, right? Thank him and move on without guilt. You can do it, especially with the support of your guy!!!

Sam