another newbie

[shaking it off]

another newbie

Oh Patricia,

So sorry to hear about your sister, we perhaps have a lot in common. I use to think I was brave. In fact my six wonderful siblings gave me a necklace which is a gold angel named "courage." They gave this to me at our mothers funeral. I had taken care of my mom for 11 years, she had Alzheimers. One of my sisters who helped pick this necklace for me died two years ago. She was the alcoholic, we were very close, I always worried about her, even staged an intervention. I will be with my family soon, they have no idea how much I drink. So I am feeling unworthy of their high regard they have for me.

I also have five kids, three of which are step, but their mother died of cancer at a very tender time in their life. The roller coaster of grief has been hard to bear, but the kids are all doing fine (with the exception of the fact that they are all teenagers, but they can't help that). Bottom line, my courage reserve is pretty low, in fact I was shocked when you suggest I was brave. Your comment reminded me that I once was-thanks.

[patricia]

another newbie

Hi

Shakin it off, We sound like we have a lot in common. I've always held down a job, not had time off to the world just another 'normal' person but have family history of heavy drinking going back generations. My sister has gone from having everything to having nothing. She scares me and has recently been told that she's got liver damage - apparently her blood results were something like 112 three times over what a normal liver should be - I don't really understand this reading but the situations I've hooked her out of have been unbelievable and despite being almost crippled with injury through drinking she's still saying that she thinks she'll only drink evenings - it is absolutely terrifying - so I know what you've been through and what you're experiencing now. Throughout the years I've been so scared of the units I've been drinking (sometimes reaching 70/80 a week) that I've panicked and stopped for sometimes over a year. This time though I've been drinking wine for about nine months and always stop at a bottle but I drink it so fast and don't eat. I sometimes have a break for one or two nights a week but sometimes I don't. Think I've just got scared. Sorry this is all about me but I wanted you to know that there is someone thousands of miles away just like you and just as scared but just as determined - I'm initially going for 30 days. Take lots of care - perhaps we'll talk again - and to the rest of you thank you so much - won't go on too much in the future about me me me

[CS04]

another newbie

Shaking and Brite,
I too can drink a bottle of wine a night, sometimes more, and tha is after a few beers (I didn't tell the dr. about the beers though). The guilt, the screwed up sleep, we have all felt it. Downloading the MWO book is easy, you can print it then right at home. I am struggling with starting and stopping but I am going to make June a successful month. Everyone here is supportive and certainly was for me when I 1st started a long time ago. Welcome.

[shaking it off]

another newbie

Well, we certainly are not alone in this struggle, it appears. I went to my doctor and voiced my concern about my drinking, he just looked at as if he didn't believe me.

I will stop with my pity-party for now and think positively.

I am not drinking tonight - day 1. I will let you know how I am doing.

Best,

Shaking

[CS04]

another newbie

one suggesyion is to have something else to drink- fizzy water, tea, a fun juice- SOMETHING - at your trigger time or witching hour. i like lemon fizzy water. i do drink lots of regular water but by 5 pm i want smth different. good luck this evening. day 1 is tough but doable!

[brite2behere]

another newbie

Thank you to everyone for your comments. It is so great to be able to talk about this horrible disease.

Doggygirl, I love your colorful WELCOME, it really does brighten ones day!!!

Shaking - I too am on day one today. Come on, lets kick butt!!

CS04 suggests having something else to drink. Sounds good to me, I will try anything at this point.

Thanks again everyone!!!

[shaking it off]

another newbie

Thanks CS04, It's lemonaide weather!

brite - your on!

-shaking

[Red-Wine]

another newbie

Hi all, I'm new too - Patricia and I joined the same day.

I think it's good to know other people's stories, it makes you relate better, and understand the reasons we all ended up here. For my self, it was lonliness after my husband died 12 years ago, having had 4 children, and always a houseful, I was alone for the first time in my life.

My wine intake grew from half a bottle a night, to 2 bottles a night - I stayed up till the small hours, and slept late every day.

I know at the back of my mind, it worried me, I would panic if I thought I might not get to the bottle store before it closed.

For quite a while now, I have been feeling really unwell, and had all sorts of tests done in the past few weeks - then 10 days ago, the Dr told me that my liver was enlarged, and that if I want to live, I should never touch alcohol again ! That was a wake up call of note !

And yet, it took me 3 days to finish all the wine in the house (how crazy is that?) -

I have just finished 1 week AF - the first few days were awful, but my appetite is slowly improving, as is my colon - I drink vast quantities of flavoured sparkling water, the meds from the Dr, and take a sedative at night.

I am just so grateful that I found this forum, and the support it offers.

May we all go from strength to strength. xxx

Mary

[Evie.Lou]

another newbie

You are sooooo welcome here...It is a place of love and understanding...You will never have to battle the beast alone again !!!!!We have him out numbered....Evie

[shaking it off]

another newbie

My husband just offered to "fix me something" This is when it gets hard.

Shaking

[Accountable for Me]

another newbie

:welcome: shaking!

Stay strong! Hubbies can be kind of dense at times.

They never know when to take their wife seriously when she says she's quitting something, or dieting, or whatever... After a few days he will get the picture that you mean business.

I've gotta get supper on the table. I just wanted to welcome you!

[shaking it off]

another newbie

Thanks,

I made it! It is 10:00 p.m. and I am over the hump!!!

Proud of myself!

Shaking

[greeneyes]

another newbie

I am falling over tired and I have to take sleep when I can get it, Don't want to ignore you but I gottta run to bed as I prowl here about 3AM! Welcome!

[CS04]

another newbie

Shaking -- Good for you! Getting past that dinner hour (past 9 or so) is over the hump for me too. . So you are past day 1, so day 2 is tomorrow. Just like in the Rudolph special at Christmas, put one foot in front of the other.

I had to have a real heart to heart iwth hubby last night and tell that I really want to try and do a 30 -- or at least more than 2 days here and there AF. So instead of my thinking that he wasn't being supportive, I had to come to the conclusion that I was not being clear about my own goals and was not letting him know. How can he be supportive when he doesn't know what I want? It is easy to be vague "I'm trying to cut down" -- it gives me an out if I want to drink.I need to be more accountable.

All that said, I am nervous about tomorrow being Friday, and I told him as much last night when we talked, that the weekends will be hard.

Anyway, Shaking, I do not mean to take away from your success. You have jumped right in and I commend you. It took me much longer to get to that point. Go girl!

[nancy]

another newbie

Congratulations on getting over the hump.

It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of sad things right now.

But one thing that amazes me about drinking when sad is how it really makes you sadder.

Physically, alcohol is a depressant. Mentally, it makes you depressed because you feel robbed of your self-esteem the next day.

I don't know how intelligent people come to see alcohol as something to turn to when you are feeling bad. I guess because initially it makes you feel better and acts as a sedative.

These days, when I look at alcohol, I think of it like a bottle of depression. It starts to look a lot less soothing.

Maybe you can get a massage to pamper yourself instead.