New member: Any big wine o's have success with moderation?

[givingitago]

I am just getting involved and will share more of my story very soon. I have been very impressed and pleased with MWO and the members so far. You all seem wonderful!

I have been AF for 5 days with the MWO plan (no meds) and am planning on trying moderation to see how it goes.

I am curious if moderation has worked effectively for any of you highly functioning wine o's that were drinking 1.5 bottles of wine a night? (More on occassion...almost never none)

I am dreading day 6, Friday, b/c it is end of week (and I kind of feel I deserve it after 5 days...) (I have promised myself not to drink alone and didn't make plans so I wouldn't have an easy excuse.) Day 7 is Saturday and I have a friend's birthday party. I'm planning to try moderation that night... Did the Control Drinking in Social Environments CD help?

Would appreciate your input. Thanks for your time and support!

[boozehag]

New member: Any big wine o's have success with moderation?

I am no expert but I dont think moderation after 6 days was in the book! I think the general idea is to go AF for 30 days or more and then see if moderation is possible. Unfortunately most people seem to find that it is not possible although there do seem to be a few who have been successful. Previously if I had one drink then I would have ten or more until it ran out - once I had one or two wines the person who wanted to moderate had left the building and the person who took over just wanted to get completely pissed and fuck the consequences! I have had over 60 days AF now and am contemplating moderation for June meaning that if I am out I might have one drink or two max to be social. I am hoping that will work out but if not I will not drink again.
Will let you know how it goes.
BH

[AMELIA]

New member: Any big wine o's have success with moderation?

Hi Givingitago!! :welcome: Congratulations on your AF days!!:goodjob:

Well, when I first came to the site, I loved the idea that one day I may be able to moderate.
However after being here for nearly two years and trying abs a few times and not so good mods (drinking lots) in between. I have realised that for me, mods doesn't work. Give me an inch and I will take a mile kind of thing. Yes I was one of those 1 1/2 plus bottles of wine a day (every day) girls.
In saying that, we are all different and yes there are members here that are successful in their moderation. I am only 5days Af this time too. But this time I am taking Antabuse. As long as I take my tablet every morning - I can not drink. For now that's the way I like it.
I say 'for now', because I would like to get to a place where I truly believe in my resolve not to drink again. Then and only then I would stop taking the tablets.

Good luck and keep us posted!

[vlad]

New member: Any big wine o's have success with moderation?

i'm trying to moderate

So far this year, thing's have been OK - I've got my drinking down to 16-20 units a week, not quite what I'd like but getting there. I'm aiming for 12. I set myself strict rules, like no drinking before 8.30pm, if I fancy a moderate drink I buy 2 cans of lager and nothing else, I don't buy crates (cos I'll just drink em all in one go). My husband's really good and supportive though, I had a bottle of vodka around my birthday - he brings it out, we can both see exactly how much I'm drinking and if I try to pour a sneeky extra one he stops me and tells me to go to bed! I may sulk a little but I know its for my own benefit! If I've had a drink one night I don't drink the next etc etc.

[vlad]

New member: Any big wine o's have success with moderation?

in addition

I managed to pluck up the courage to confess my problem to my husband and members of my local church which I feel has contributed to my success. My story's in the 'Tell Us Your Story' section. I still have a way to go yet though - I still know I'm vulnerable to slipping up. A trip to Poland last year resulted in me drinking too much vodka and not being able to walk. My husband had to drag me back to the hotel. Embarrassing or what...

[vlad]

New member: Any big wine o's have success with moderation?

Oh yeah, once I've had my 2 beers I go to bed.

[cedar]

New member: Any big wine o's have success with moderation?

hi givingitago - :welcome:

i just posted my 3 weeks AF followed by weekend MODS and back to 1-2 bottles a day ! :upset:

so am definately not going to go quickly into trying that again for a while

am setting my target to start AF days again on monday. and going to re-read the book as well. Spending LOTS of time on MWO is also a MUST do not an option.

This is where the knowledge, wisdom and strength comes from...as well as some wacky mad people who can make you laugh when you need some light hearted banter :l

love ced
x

[57Shelby]

New member: Any big wine o's have success with moderation?

Hi, Givitago. I joined MWO in March. I am the wine-o that you describe. I had some long strings of AF days, but I was not totally committed to being AF, because I knew we had a vacation coming up and I would drink. My plan was to go, enjoy that last hurrah and buckle down when we returned. I did ok when we got back. I have the whole shebang from MWO, hypno cd's, book, supps, topo....... Then the warm weather hit and my biggest trigger is sitting on the patio with a glass on a wonderful sunny, evening. Back into the bottle I fell up to 1.5+ per night. Today is day 6 AF for me. I am committed to the 30 days AF before I make any decisions. I hope to be able to moderate. My goal is to not drink during the week, and only to have a glass of wine with a NICE dinner out, or a couple beers here or there. My husband and I are huge karaoke geeks. We go out to sing nearly every weekend. I want to be able to go out to sing without being trashed at the end of the night. I do have a nice voice, but at the end of the night, I have lost all control and I sound like a drunk, (uuuuh, duh!!!!). I want to sound as good at the end of the night as I do at the beginning, even if everyone else is drunk!!! It matters to me! I got off on a tangent...... To answer your question, from my experience, I don't think it is easy to begin to moderate at this early stage. I think it takes your body time to adjust to the AF state and some time for your head to adjust to wise choices out of that AF state. For ME, 30 days, then I will think about my choices. Good luck, keep coming back. PM me if you would like.

[4theboyz]

New member: Any big wine o's have success with moderation?

Greetings Giving,

I may have to wait for your story version to really offer any specific advice. As a connoisseur of all things alcoholic I was living on the edge and had to quit. Today I am on my 3rd day 5 since Feb 18th. I came here to stop, thought I'd try modding for a bit. Did that for a month and found myself no better off than when I first came here. Huge disappointment for me.

I would suggest though you do ask yourself why you came here in the first place, review the role AL played in your life and the harm and or problems it was inflicting on your life. Map out a plan and envision the benefits and improvement in your life.

If you haven't already it wouldn't hurt to get a Dr's input, I discussed my goals off the record with my Doc which was a huge relief for me to have finally done so.

I look forward to hearing more from you. Be well and best wishes for success.

[Evie.Lou]

New member: Any big wine o's have success with moderation?

It may work for some but I am not going to tempt fate!!!!!! For me 1 drink is too many and 1,ooo would not be enough.....just my 2 cents....Evie

[meditation mama]

New member: Any big wine o's have success with moderation?

Hello, Giving!

I have been here for about a year and a half. Much of that time was spent stopping and trying to MOD. Finally last Autumn I finally gave into the fact that I couldn't moderate my drinking and I had to start on the path of complete sobriety = this is just me. It is a tough road, with it's ups and downs, but the rewards are unbelievable. I have over a thousand posts here if you would like to read through the story of someone who is intelligent, strong in all ways non-related to alcohol, and tried and failed - maybe a hundred times.

As for the program outlined, it is suggested that you go at least 30 days before you consider MODS. Within that time you really need to take the time to look at your drinking career and then make some life changes, otherwise you are destined to fail - sorry. Another personal thought is that, in my opinion, you don't even get started with the self-realization process for at least 3 months AF. Some of my most difficult days, and also for those that were on the same AF path, were around the 90-day mark. That is when things REALLY started to become clear. Now, I have had three slips since my complete absitnece quest began last fall, but I am finally convinced I cannot moderate. What a relief!

I am sure this puts a damper on your weekend, but if you are really serious about addressing your drinking problem, I am sure you want a no-bullshit answer or you wouldn't have put this out here. So, my suggestion is that you NOT drink this weekend. If you feel like you DESERVE, then you are using it as a reward.. I don't know if that is a healthy way to look at alcohol - only because I have done that one, too.

On the brighter side, if you are really serious about MODS, look at Finding My Self.. she is a fantastic example. However, she gave her self 6 months, I believe. There are others that MOD on this site, so you can also seek support from them.

Remember to follow what you hear in your heart, not your head...

I hope this helps. Good luck!!

Namaste,

MM

[Ask For Help]

New member: Any big wine o's have success with moderation?

Hi Giving: Lots of good advice here. I'd add only one thought. Do you feel you could have 1 - 2 drinks on Saturday and then continue AF for the forseeable future (another 6 - 10 days for example)? That might give you a sense of what an early mods path might look like. Not completely AF but committed to mostly AF days, and able to have 1 or 2 drinks and stop.

I agree it seems early to try, but if you do, try to set a clear expectation of what comes next.
Best to you.

AFH

[givingitago]

New member: Any big wine o's have success with moderation?

Thanks everyone for your responses and support! You are very, very helpful. I will keep you posted and share more about me this weekend. (I'm at work right now/ work a lot and all the hypnosis and my new yoga kick to busy myself post work takes a lot of time. (-.

I am not really sure if the mods path will work for me either. Many of your words sounded like they might end up being my own... I have a few social events that I?m committed to in the next month that it seems as though it will be so difficult to drink nothing at? Should I just avoid them all?? How do you all deal with that? Just will power?

[KBCE]

New member: Any big wine o's have success with moderation?

I am at 4 days AF and I know that I cannot have anything for at least 30 days. I just don't want to mess this up. If, down the road I can MOD, then so be it, but for now I am enjoying my new found clarity. I have to go to a social funtion tonight and know what to expect....wine, beer, etc. But I told my husband IN FRONT OF THE KIDS that I will be the designated driver since I have stopped drinking for at least 30 days. To see the smiles on my girls faces was enough for me. My advice is not to drink - you will feel so much better. WIth your Yoga, etc it sounds like you are really on the right path and should be proud of yourself - we are proud of you! Let us know how everything goes!

Kat