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    #16
    Tired of the fight

    Cherbear,

    I know this sounds cheezy but it does hold true. AA has a saying to watch out for HALT: hungry, angry, lonely, tired.

    I also say hungry,hurting because of my mental state last week while in so much pain.

    It is extremely critical to concentrate on staying on as even a keel as possible, especially in the first few weeks.

    When we let ourselves get wrapped up in the world and not thinking about taking extra good care of ourselves, we put ourselves at risk for slipping.

    For the first few weeks, Cherbear, put staying sober as #1 and do WHATEVER IT TAKES to be there and stay there.

    One of the reasons I go to AA, especially when out of town in a city alone, is the lonely part. It does help to be around others, especially in the evenings, where otherwise I would be tempted to be at the bar.

    The angry part, remove yourself from people who can upset you. We can't always avoid getting angry, life throws crap at us, but when you do find yourself getting angry, step back and talk to yourself about it. It is not worth letting anger lead you back to drink.

    Remember, sobriety needs to be the most important thing. Without sobriety, everything else has no meaning. We will lose everything else that is important eventually because of our drinking.

    Sorry if this is so long, but I do hope you think about this.

    Love,
    Cindi
    AF April 9, 2016

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      #17
      Tired of the fight

      Dear Cher,I agree with the 30abs.....I am coming up on 30 days soon and I am planning on staying AF!!!! I would not have believed that was possible 1 month ago.If I can do it then I know that you can.....Evie
      sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

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        #18
        Tired of the fight

        Cher, It has been a long, frustrating battle for me. I hear my own story in your words. I have beat myself up for years and worn myself out with the daily battle you describe. My husband would always say "You are too hard on yourself." I would think to myself. "You don't understand." It took a few attempts to get to where I am. I am not certain where I will end up, but right now I am at Day 8 of my 30 days AF. I come here a lot to get support, but I first had to make the decision in my heart that it was really time, this time. I am truly amazed at the success I have had thus far, but I do not want to fool myself into thinking that tomorrow I will not struggle with a craving that I succumb to.
        You can do this!!! Come here often, use the support here to get yourself through the tough times. The biggest thing is to have a plan to get yourself through those tough times. Somebody has a qoute they always say, "failing to plan, is planning to fail". I may not have it exact but they are very wise words. Good luck, Cher!!! Hang in there!!!
        "PAIN IS JUST WEAKNESS LEAVING THE BODY!" USMC

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          #19
          Tired of the fight

          Cherbear;341822 wrote: anyone who will listen,
          I feel like all I do is fight the battle inside my mind of whether I will drink or not or trying to limit it. It is so exhausting and I'm soooo tired of it.
          I'm going to start the 30 days.. It is hard to imagine not have that pleasure of that first sip of cold wine in the evening but I just have to do this I know.
          I'm stuck in a big rut, I hate waking up in the middle of night thinking tomorrow I won't drink and then I do....:
          common thoughts Cher...talk about wot bugs you, its a long haul and it sucks. You will feel change as you go...but you must talk about things. :l

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            #20
            Tired of the fight

            evielou;342224 wrote: Dear Cher,I agree with the 30abs.....I am coming up on 30 days soon and I am planning on staying AF!!!! I would not have believed that was possible 1 month ago.If I can do it then I know that you can.....Evie
            I was almost at 30 days AF before I found this site. I went on a weekend fishing trip in and
            'had a few'...and a few more...and a few more. The hangovers were simply awful. Fast forward.. I had to go through all the anxiety etc. again and it was not fun. What I learned was that I really do not have an AL off switch (never did) and I just feel better w/o AL period. I have no intention of ever trying to moderate. I am no longer counting days because I have become a non-drinker. I feel better with each additional day that I am AF and I like who I am now.

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              #21
              Tired of the fight

              :new:
              Hi everyone,

              Just joined after reading this site and drawing inspiration from all of you for some weeks now. I so recognise the feelings you all went through before deciding enough was enough - I hope I can moderate, but maybe giving up completely will prove to be the only solution. Started the regime (topa, kuzu, L-glut....hypno tapes) a week ago with the intention of cutting way back (from a bottle of white wine every night) to a glass or two a couple of times a week. Had a few glasses this week, but didn't particularly enjoy them - maybe the "honeymoon effect" rather than a real change, but I''m optimistic!

              I'm looking forward to sharing this journey with all of you who have given me so much hope. I know it won't be easy and it will be important to know that you are here during those moments of trial.

              THANKS!!!

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                #22
                Tired of the fight

                Welcome New Start! Sounds like you are up and running. Look forward to getting to know you.

                DG
                ******************
                Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


                One day at a time.

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