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**time2change** · June 10, 2008, 06:47 PM

Marriage is just about over

Please do not hate yourself. You did it for 5 months once and you can do it again. This time you will be smater and not go back to drinking. Please talk to your doctor. Antabuse may just be what you need. Whatever it is that will help is what you need to do right now. You have two kids that need you, but you need to do this for you and nobody else. If you need support you will get it here. Stick around so we can be there for you.

**Ripple** · June 10, 2008, 06:47 PM

Marriage is just about over

who is DH? and what kind of a husband walks out on you like that. do you love your husband and want to save your marriage? do you have parents or family to go to?

**LauraAnn** · June 10, 2008, 06:59 PM

Marriage is just about over

Ripple;344273 wrote: who is DH? and what kind of a husband walks out on you like that. do you love your husband and want to save your marriage? do you have parents or family to go to?

LOL "DH" is an acronym for "Dear Husband" that I use on another board (a parenting one).

I have just done too much. He found something a few days ago, agreed to give it another shot, and I did it again just a couple days later. That's it in his mind.

I don't think I could have hurt him more.

My father is an alcoholic and has hurt the family a lot, I can't believe I'm doing the same thing.

I really hope that Ryan ("dh" ;-) ) sticks around long enough to see I'm really trying... he's just tired of it, hurt beyond belief, not attracted to me anymore (I'm not taking care of myself the way I used to)... he sees a very scared person, one that he doesn't think he can help. He thinks I bring him down (he is a very happy go lucky guy... when I'm not around).

He gave me every shot he could and I gave him all the promises in the world... again and again. He doesn't know if he can ever get those feelings back for me. I think I've ruined it.

**tlrgs** · June 10, 2008, 07:00 PM

Marriage is just about over

if you have done it once you can and will be able to do it again ..you have alot going for you your two kids ..the life you really want is not in that bottle . but in your heart . you know what you need to do and that is to quit drinking for the sake of yourself before it get any worst..maybe this is your rock bottom.. look at it, learn from it .. do what you have to do to save your life and the love ones you say you love ..you can do this and we are here for you ..
peace ,love and god bless

**greeneyes** · June 10, 2008, 07:27 PM

Marriage is just about over

DH... I was thinking designated hitter or dick head. You gota fix you first and foremost. All else will fall into place.

**KateH1** · June 10, 2008, 07:37 PM

Marriage is just about over

Laura, First of all, I have a great deal of respect for you for being able to look at this from your husbands point of view. That shows a great deal of character on your part. Truly it does. It sounds like you are both really good people. But, you must work on getting sober.

Please, read the book. Perhaps you can look into Lenair. Lenair has helped many here, who thought it was impossible, to stop drinking for good! If not Lenair, try the MWO way. It too has worked for many of us. You stopped for five months, you can do it again and this time for good! I say this all the time, and it is true. If I can do it, anyone can!

If you need to talk or I can help you in anyway, feel free to PM me. In the meantime, get to work, you have a lot to gain from taking care of this!

XX Kate

**Evie.Lou** · June 10, 2008, 07:45 PM

Marriage is just about over

Please Stop and think for a minute...do you think that hating yourself is the answer???I dont see you as a bad person...a sick person YES but BAD...I dont think so.If you had cancer would you say that you got that because you are bad???HATE the DISEASE,not yourself.If you do not find some sence of self love than what will make you feel like you deserve Soberiety.I love the statement that I have a life threatening Disease,That once had me).You can recover from this...I am living proof.If i can do it,so can you.We are here to help you every step of the way.Get yourself on Antabuse.It will force you to think before you drink....Thats a good first step....Evie

**Ripple** · June 10, 2008, 10:52 PM

Marriage is just about over

Nothing has to be over..be strong for the toddlers..talk to someone who you can trust. No hasty decisions right now. you are upset no doubt...be careful because no matter wot you are going to have to deal with the issues good or bad. reach out to a person you can trust...like soon. :h

**Ripple** · June 10, 2008, 10:56 PM

Marriage is just about over

cont'd i don;t like that edit thingie..no matter wot you have done...you are human and need support and attention, hugs and understanding..comfort. let it out, cry a river...it helps relieve all that pent up crap inside. someone must be there for you. i don't care, i know wot it is like to be MISUNDERSTOOD. a little love goes a long way when it is needed most. call for help asap..really. :h

**gelgit** · June 10, 2008, 11:06 PM

Marriage is just about over

ANTABUSE:thumbs:You and your DH hustle over ti the Doc's office, tell them it's a f8cking emergency and have the doc explain to both of you together what antabuse will do. You must have enormous stress what with just buying a new home, 2 toddlers and dealing with each other plus the genetic angle. Give yourself a break from the mind battles and cravings for AL.

At least 10 times today, I thought about drinking and laughing, sighing, screaming, whatever, I knew it's not possible because I took the pill. When I get my mental and physical health in better shape, then I'll try it "organicqlly" again. :h

**OneTooMany** · June 11, 2008, 09:05 AM

Marriage is just about over

Please don't beat yourself up! I'm new to the forum but not to the battle with the bottle. Have you tried Campral? I find that it really takes the cravings away, and also, the anxiety that comes along with being AF. You CAN do this! :thumbs:

**cowgal** · June 11, 2008, 09:23 AM

Marriage is just about over

wishes

I wish for peace for you.............try Campral or Antibuse, whatever it takes..............

It is difficult for your husband I am sure, he feels for you and wants to help you, but AL is a pretty powerful enemy, he cannot beat it, but YOU CAN! If you did it for 5 months, try to go back and do it again, I am right w/ you...............just starting back, have 8 days now....

lots of love,:l:h:l:h

MA

**Guest** · June 11, 2008, 10:39 AM

Marriage is just about over

It sounds like you have quite a bit on your plate right now; the stress of a new house, all the moving and unpacking it involves; the stress of taking care of two toddlers while doing all this; and the arguments with your husband. Try talking to him, maybe show him this site and that you are trying and working as hard as you can. He may be really thankful and help you, especially now when you need it the most. Be kind to yourself. Hug your babies and know that you are never alone. There is always someone with a hand out ready to catch you, it may be someone you never even expected.

**patricia** · June 11, 2008, 11:14 AM

Marriage is just about over

Hi,

Don't give up - I haven't much to add other that I KNOW YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT PLACE. Wishing you much luck and kind thoughts.

Px

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