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    #1

    New Here :)

    Hi All, :new:

    I've been lurking for a couple of months. I started Campral and went sober for 3 weeks before I fell again, hard. After making a total a** of myself this weekend, not to mention blacking out and not remembering much of anything, I realized that one is too many and ten's not enough. Back on Campral again and on my 4th day of sobriety. TG my fiancee is so understanding, caring and willing to stand beside me.

    BUT, I don't know how to tell him that I can't moderate. I don't think he understands I have a drinking problem and I'm afraid that if I do tell him, he might think less of me. He keeps telling me that he doesn't mind if I drink, but not every day. How can I explain this to him? His dad is an alcoholic and I think he had probs with AL when he was younger. His brother talked to him and he pretty much stopped drinking. He can go out, have two drinks and then stop. I can't! Any advice would be more than welcome. :thanks:

    Oh ... btw ... I think this community is fabulous. I don't think I've ever been on a site that has such caring people.
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    #2
    New Here

    OneTooMany,

    :welcome: Glad you are here and great on being on day 4.

    My daughter has the same problem with her husband. He just doesn't understand that drinking is not an option.

    It does make it difficult for us because, we have a hard enough time with that concept without others not getting it.

    Just be honest, though. That is all you can do.

    Good luck!!
    Cindi
    AF April 9, 2016

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      #3
      New Here

      I love the name onetomany....For me it is onetomany one thousand not enough....I finally wised up and now i know that zero alcohol is the only way for me.1 month ago 4 days AL free would have seemed imposible.Thanks to the help from here I am 31 days AF today.You can do it tooooo.....Evie
      sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

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        #4
        New Here

        Dear one,

        :welcome:

        Sounds like your fiance is an understanding person. I believe honesty is the best policy. If you are marrying this guy it is only fair to both of you to start off with a totally honest relationship. If he's been around alcoholics--he know there is a difference.

        Hope this helps a little.
        _______________
        NF since June 1, 2008
        AF since September 28, 2008
        DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
        _____________
        :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
        5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
        _______________
        The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

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          #5
          New Here

          I think you may be surprised how understanding your fiance will be when you finally open up to him. Keeping it hidden or a secret is really not an option. Don't waste your time even trying. Just jump right in and get it out in the open.

          You will find that everything will get better!

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            #6
            New Here

            Welcome,
            I have to agree that honesty is the best policy and can only add that we are glad that you are here. Stick around, read, post and get support. There are many wonderful people here and you can come here anytime of the day.Congratulations on 4 days AF.

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              #7
              New Here

              Hiya Onetoomany, welcome. I can't moderate either unfortunately and it is so difficult to explain that to people because they have no way of understanding unless they recognise it themselves. I was recently at a do where I wasn't drinking and had to fend the 'oh just have one' - ho hum.... There are a few threads on replies to this kind of thing but I just said, oh no I have to up early tomorrow to child mind young children and they left me alone - phew. It's not just what to say to people it's the yearning for the drink as well, it's so difficult but what an achievement you feel when you have actually done it and got through the evening. Wishing you the very best and welcome again.

              Tea x
              Rather die standing, than live on my knees, begging Please..... No More.......

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                #8
                New Here

                Thank you all so much. I agree that honesty is the best policy. I'll sit down and talk with my fiancee. Don't quite know how I'm gonna tell him, but knowing me, I'll just blurt it out! :H We're having a fab time this week. I'm on vacation, and we've been taking the kids all over. AND doing it all AF! Today is my 5th day and I finally feel like I'm beginning to live life again. Now, on to losing some of this 30 lbs I gained from drinking too much. UGH!

                :thanks:

                Comment

                  #9
                  New Here

                  Tea ... I can so relate. I have a big do coming up. It's my birthday and my future BIL's birthday on the 4th of July weekend. They're all planning a big bash, and of course, AL will be flowing. I am prepared for it, and just gonna say that I can't drink because of the meds I'm on. And it's true, so I don't feel like I'm lying. I think I'll content myself with a soda and play with the kids.

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