never learn

[keeta]

bad habits always equal bad results. Some times I wish the only person I affected was me, cause then I wouldn't care...unfortunatley I have kids a hubby and a job, that ARE affected by my inability to stay sober.I am a fucking loser...I crack a beer and ponder my loser-ness...bad sign, no?Maybe one day I will be strong enough to walk away from it all...but when? When will I finially think enough IS enough? I am not even sure why I am posting this...I often think I may be the proverbial "lost cause". I don't want to be that person, I really really don't. I miss the "real me" so much.God....why did you create such a mess in me? WHY?

[tlrgs]

never learn

FIRST OFF you are not a loser . you just dont know what you really have .and maybe you are taking things for granted . stop and look around and see what you have and it is a loving family that would only try to help you open your heart and eyes .and smell the coffee.and start living life the right way . you can do this its not easy by far but doable..just takes one day at a time ..
peace and good luck and god bless

[Evie.Lou]

never learn

Dear Keeta, I have been where you are and did not think that I could ever stop drinking .AL was just way too powerful for me to battle alone.I found that there is such a power in the number of the people here on this site that are all trying to beat the BEAST.THERE WAS NO WAY I COULD DO IT ALONE AND NO WAY THAT I CAN NOT DO IT WITH ALL THIS HELP.First things first.You are not a loser,you are sick.Download the MWO book to get the basics of the program.If you become a subscriber you get the book free and they mail you Kudzu to help with the cravings.Stay close to this site.It was my lifeline.Go to Chat if you want to get to know others.They will be your strenght until you are back up on your feet....Life can be JOYFUL again,I am living proof....Evie

[paranoid]

never learn

I understand what you are saying. I too am stuck in a hard place and a rock. It sounds as if we have different circumstances. If you truly feel that you are affecting your children and spouse, than start communicating more with them. Last time I really blew it in front of my children was over a year ago and my son believe it or not, really didn't notice, it was more of my own guilt of not remembering the evening. I did appologize to him and let him know that I had messed up and I was very sick and paying the price for it, but the only thing it did was open his eyes to what alcohol can do and that is make you sick. I have slipped a few times since, but not to that extent.
Find what your buttons are, I think I know mine, I cannot necessarily stay away from them, but I can prepare for them and hope that my brain can stay ahead of my actions.
Hang in there. I was on my knees just two days ago and I am now feeling better. You will too if you just give it a go.

[keeta]

never learn

tlrgs...it really doesnt feel do-able...it feels impossible...I want so much more for my life...why can't I make it happen?How do all the "normal" people do it every day....why can't I????I need help...so much help...I am so much better than this person I have allowed myself to become .Why does the drunk girl always win???I think we should kill her in her sleep.

[angeleyes]

never learn

Well, to start off, if you are a loser because you have a problem, then I guess that would make us all losers wouldn't it? You know that is not true, I have followed some of your postings, and you are going through some extremely hard times right now. Keeta, cut yourself a huge break, you are a beautiful person, you can get through this, you WILL find the "REAL YOU" (she is already right there), we are all here for you. Keep talking and posting, you are not alone.
Sending peace your way...
(A fellow Western Canadian)

[tlrgs]

never learn

sorry i know alot of people sometimes disangree with aa but in a alot ways it might help you to go t one and meet ,talk to some people it really help me just to be able to talk to a person one on one ..
am not saying you have to follow all the ways of AA but it might help give it a try if it doesnt workout for you . you can always leave the meeting and try something else . but dont give up on yourself you can and will be able to do this

[keeta]

never learn

evielou...thank you...if you thought you couldn't stop how did you stop?

paranoid...I want to stop...every day I say I won't drink...by the end I do...I need to find the inner strength to STOP

cher bear....I am falling to pieces...who drinks at 10 am???Me cause it feels good?...DUMBI hate who I am...why am I so weak?....normal people don;t do things that hurt them...why do I???

[keeta]

never learn

tlrgs...i have no way here...250 people in my hamlet..if I had a non judgemental way out I WOULD go there.......no AA....i wish i had a place to go...god do I ever

[Accountable for Me]

never learn

keeta! Where do you live? I am coming over there and smacking you upside the head. I have a feeling you aren't too far from where I am.

You are NOT a loser. I found the more I gave into this negative thinking, the more I drank and the harder it was to stop the madness - seriously!

Shit, I thought I was a loser for years! Especially when drinking took over my life. I kept telling myself over and over again that I was a loser, and that I probably will never stop.

What has changed for me? I started to tell myself I am a winner! I deserve to be happy and healthy! All of this kicking myself down wasn't going to get me anywhere. I have had much success with battling the daily drinking since changing my thinking.

I think you are a winner. I really do. We all are! Do you want me to really come over there and shake you around a little?

One day at a time, hon. Baby steps & start changing your negative thoughts into positive ones. :l

[Last Of The Summer Wine]

never learn

Love and Hugs back at you

Forum: General Discussion 04-30-2008, 08:11 PM
Replies: 20 to me myself and i
Views: 289 Posted By keeta
Tlrgs, I am sorry you are feeling so low right...

Tlrgs,
I am sorry you are feeling so low right now.
Keep pushing forward the best you can, and please know you are NOT alone.
We are all here, and we care. Stay close

love and hugs,
K

Keeta - you posted this back in April when Tlrgs was feeling as low as you are now. So here comes your own love and hugs back to comfort you - with some extra ones added in from us :l
Take care my lovely
J

[keeta]

never learn

Acountable.......please come kick my ass?...I can't belive I am drinking this early....there is something WRONG with me..

[keeta]

never learn

Last of.if only we could take our own advicde....doctor heal thy-self

[Last Of The Summer Wine]

never learn

Just take care of yourself sweetheart, you are worth the effort.
Love
J

[Accountable for Me]

never learn

Hey! Do you know what? I was drinking as soon as I got up! Seriously. There is 'nothing' wrong with you. You are like many of us.

I was a morning drinker. I loved my drinks in the morning. I have NO idea why, but that was the way I was programmed. Kind of ruined the rest of my day tho! But I looooved it. I am not lying about that one.

It is almost 1pm now. I would suggest you dump it out, but that is up to you. Why not try for tomorrow? Start fresh in the morning. Log on here and grab strength from us all. It can be done, and you are worth it.

and.......... I can come and kick your ass if you want me to!