never learn

[gelgit]

never learn

Hi Keeta, There is no way that "loser" applies to you or to any of us. Maybe you had someone in your childhood, that you looked up to and loved, who (because of their own problems) made you feel inferior and not worthy. So, it's the little kid still inside you that is feeling this way still despite all that you have accomplished. I live in a really small place too and have no resources here...so I drive 200 miles for appointments, dentist, perscriptions etc. I'm really freaked out about gas prices!!
I'm so saved by finding MWO. After sliding and restarting for over 2 months here (40 years total) I'm taking my antabuse and reading these threads. Slowly, my mind is becoming clearer about the "whys". I am finally learning, ODAT, to be happy.:h g.

[angeleyes]

never learn

Keeta, sometimes I feel like I am falling to pieces too (often, and regularly) and I also live in a small town. The idea of AA for me is not an option because everybody knows everybody, and I don't want it known that I am the town lush. So what I did was confide in my doctor (who I have been going to for years and never mentioned the drinking problem). She was amazingly supportive, and it felt good for me to actually tell a real live person that I had a problem and that I needed help. There is help out there for you Keeta, but you need to ask for it - no one is going to come knocking on your door with the perfect answer that will solve this for you. YOU NEED TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW!!! No one else can do this for you! You are too important to your family to let alcohol rule! DO IT FOR YOU!

[dexterhead]

never learn

Accountable for Me;345002 wrote: You are NOT a loser. I found the more I gave into this negative thinking, the more I drank and the harder it was to stop the madness - seriously!l

Keeta, I love this quote from AFM. Keeta, sweetie, I am your twin, south of the border. I feel so much like you. We have to somehow find a way to adjust our thinking. PM me if you want ... :l:l:h:h And thank you AFM!!

[tea]

never learn

Keeta, you are SO not a loser, if you are then I am and I sooo don't want to be.... I was doing so well, really so well, in fact so well i thought I would just have a little voddy and 'moderate' on Sat night - well... same old story, woke up Sunday on the couch with phone by my side - Oh My Gawd, we all know the story - the shame, the guilt, the brain crashing around with the 'what did i do's, what did I say's' and then the texts, WORSE than the phone as the proof is there for you to see the next day. Yes I lost on Sat night but am back on the saddle again, full of remorse and self pity but hey ho, back I come on MWO and know I can take the strength from all here that will help me back on track. Here's to day 3 done and dusted, looking forward to tomorrow and hopefully never, ever being so smug again.


Lxx

[rudemama]

never learn

Keeta, You are not a loser, I too drank in the morning drank in the afternoon drank in the evening drank late at night......its the loss of control that makes us feel bad.....its not neccessarily a specific action.
well hang in there
:h:h:h
rudemama