Hi Everyone:new:
I just found this site tonight and it is fantastic.:thanks: Thank you to everyone who has shared their stories - the "witchin hour", the guilts, the mental processes - it is all stuff that I contend with even though I am not a heavy drinker, but I think I am one in the making.
I am a 32 year old single female. A day when I don't drink at all is a rarity, even if I only have 2 glasses of wine (or half a bottle). Hangovers hit me really hard. I wake up thinking "I wish I didn't drink last night" and I beat myself up about it (catholic guilt), promising to make it through the day or week without drinking - for health and financial reasons. But by late afternoon I have convinced myself to buy wine - if I'm broke, it goes on the credit card. Most of the time it is ok, a couple of glasses with dinner. But then I find myself drinking alone, or in bed drinking and watching tv. I have lost count of the number of times that I have binged, ended up throwing up all over my bed or my floor, cannot remember things, have to cancel appointments for the entire next day because I am too sick to move.
It is as if I don't have the chip in my brain that says "stop".
Last year I realised that my bingeing and the fact I couldn't have an alcohol free night were the beginnings of what could have been a bigger problem. I stopped drinking for about 3 months. It was a huge deal especially for my friends who are used to me being the life of the party. It was really hard because people didn't think I had a problem so they weren't supportive.
But somehow the drinking started again and it's back to not being able to make it through the night without 2 glasses, and a big horrible binge every few months, even though many times I haven't had any intention of drinking at all. Every time I feel so terrible about myself and say it'll be the last time, and then it just happens again.
When I talk with friends they tell me "everything in moderation"... but I really feel like because of my history (my father is a very heavy drinker, and many alcoholics in my family, as well as brothers who have battled drug addictions), for me, moderation is almost impossible. It is considered normal in Australia to binge drink and I find it hard to get support from friends and family because it is so commonplace that they don't think there is anything wrong. But I do think it is. I don't want to feel this way. I don't want drinking to control my life and I feel like it is.
So I found this site tonight because I think I need some help to get through. I know in my heart that even though I'm not yet a heavy drinker, that I do have a problem.
My housemate and I rearranged the kitchen tonight, and we put all the wine glasses away at the back of a cupboard we don't use, to try to stop the mind wandering! I have decided that instead of "going for a drink" to catch up with friends I'm going to go for dinner, or a movie, or coffee instead. And maybe I should avoid scheduling stuff during witching hour when its too hard to say no.
My mum hasn't drunk for 23 years, so I think I need to take a leaf out of her book. She gets high on life and she looks fantastic. But I think growing up with one wowser and one alcoholic did not teach me about moderation.
Anyway I just wanted to say thanks for the inspiration and ideas. Reading the posts has confirmed to me that quitting now while I am young is my best option, even if it seems weird to my friends and family.
the hard part is going to be putting theory into practice!
good luck to everyone!
fish
I just found this site tonight and it is fantastic.:thanks: Thank you to everyone who has shared their stories - the "witchin hour", the guilts, the mental processes - it is all stuff that I contend with even though I am not a heavy drinker, but I think I am one in the making.
I am a 32 year old single female. A day when I don't drink at all is a rarity, even if I only have 2 glasses of wine (or half a bottle). Hangovers hit me really hard. I wake up thinking "I wish I didn't drink last night" and I beat myself up about it (catholic guilt), promising to make it through the day or week without drinking - for health and financial reasons. But by late afternoon I have convinced myself to buy wine - if I'm broke, it goes on the credit card. Most of the time it is ok, a couple of glasses with dinner. But then I find myself drinking alone, or in bed drinking and watching tv. I have lost count of the number of times that I have binged, ended up throwing up all over my bed or my floor, cannot remember things, have to cancel appointments for the entire next day because I am too sick to move.
It is as if I don't have the chip in my brain that says "stop".
Last year I realised that my bingeing and the fact I couldn't have an alcohol free night were the beginnings of what could have been a bigger problem. I stopped drinking for about 3 months. It was a huge deal especially for my friends who are used to me being the life of the party. It was really hard because people didn't think I had a problem so they weren't supportive.
But somehow the drinking started again and it's back to not being able to make it through the night without 2 glasses, and a big horrible binge every few months, even though many times I haven't had any intention of drinking at all. Every time I feel so terrible about myself and say it'll be the last time, and then it just happens again.
When I talk with friends they tell me "everything in moderation"... but I really feel like because of my history (my father is a very heavy drinker, and many alcoholics in my family, as well as brothers who have battled drug addictions), for me, moderation is almost impossible. It is considered normal in Australia to binge drink and I find it hard to get support from friends and family because it is so commonplace that they don't think there is anything wrong. But I do think it is. I don't want to feel this way. I don't want drinking to control my life and I feel like it is.
So I found this site tonight because I think I need some help to get through. I know in my heart that even though I'm not yet a heavy drinker, that I do have a problem.
My housemate and I rearranged the kitchen tonight, and we put all the wine glasses away at the back of a cupboard we don't use, to try to stop the mind wandering! I have decided that instead of "going for a drink" to catch up with friends I'm going to go for dinner, or a movie, or coffee instead. And maybe I should avoid scheduling stuff during witching hour when its too hard to say no.
My mum hasn't drunk for 23 years, so I think I need to take a leaf out of her book. She gets high on life and she looks fantastic. But I think growing up with one wowser and one alcoholic did not teach me about moderation.
Anyway I just wanted to say thanks for the inspiration and ideas. Reading the posts has confirmed to me that quitting now while I am young is my best option, even if it seems weird to my friends and family.
the hard part is going to be putting theory into practice!
good luck to everyone!
fish
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