It's not alcoholism if the wine is really expensive

[Guest]

OK so today is my second day. I've never done anything like this before. I'm a highly successful and hugely ashamed woman who's been trying to hide this for decades, mostly doing a pretty good job at it. Love to drink alone so no one sees the quantity. Been fooling myself for a very long time. Yesterday I didn't drink, a very big accomplishment for me. Ordered the topamax from an off shore pharmacy, delivering in two weeks. Ordered the book, and will get supplements tomorrow. Plan to get through 48 hours and then take an Antabuse from a stash I ordered (off shore) last year but never made it 48 hours to take one. Is this a total cop out? I seem to need a crutch until meds and book come.

God I hope this works. Thanks for listening.

[Guest]

It's not alcoholism if the wine is really expensive

Welcome jd,
You are among many women and men on this site that have the same issues. Many of us are successful working adults that drink too much or more than we are comfortable with. The supplements will help with cravings, as will spending time on this board and reading and posting. I wouldn't think of taking the Antabuse as a cop out, whatever it takes to get you through is worth it.

You can also download the book as a PDF and read it online if you don't want to wait for the hard copy to come in the mail.

Let us know how its going!

Marcie

[Guest]

It's not alcoholism if the wine is really expensive

Hi there JD, And welcome aboard!
I don't want to discourage you, but I've read that Antabuse can make you very sick, even up to a couple of weeks within drinking alcohol. I also have some,(prescribed @ my request, from my Dr. But haven't taken it, I've been afraid to. Besides the liver damage from it, I haven't been very successful at being abstinant for any long period of time. I'm no authority on it, but you might want to check w/an MD, or someone before taking it.
I did get some Kudzu & am on day 3 w/it, it's Sunday afernoon(about 3:30), & I'm on my first beer of the day, that's pretty good for me! Crazy as it is, I'm still trying to "control" my demons! G'day, Peace & Prayers Judie

[Guest]

It's not alcoholism if the wine is really expensive

Thank you

Marcie, thanks for your note. I think this site is going to be a big help. For me the embarrassment and shame and not wanting to admit even to myself what's really going on are the biggest issues. It's good to "type this out loud" for some reason; like a baby step toward honesty.

Janet

[Guest]

It's not alcoholism if the wine is really expensive

Crutches

Well thanks Judie, maybe I should rethink the Antabuse until I do a bit more research. I was told that if you were alcohol free for 2 days you could take it, but you can't have alcohol for 2 weeks once you've taken it. Does anyone else have any information?

Thanks!

[Guest]

It's not alcoholism if the wine is really expensive

Re: Crutches

Hi Janet, I'm not trying to scare you, but you might want to just "google"on Antabuse. From what I read drinking doesn't sound so bad! Apparently Antabuse can cuase some major problems, & can also affect the way you metabalize other meds. I also read it can complicate seizure disorders! I can't believe my Dr. presribed it to me, since he also prescribes my anti-convulsant med!! Good ol small town Drs...Then again, how's that quote go? "Being born can eventually be fatal" or something like that... I know I'm damn lucky to be here. Grateful Hugs, Judie

[Guest]

It's not alcoholism if the wine is really expensive

Re: Crutches

Forgot to mention, W/Antabuse, you have to be careful of other things you use, like hairspray, a lot of lotions, shaving cream, perfumes,body sprays...Frgn alcohol...it's everywhere!
Hugs & Prayers Judie

[Guest]

It's not alcoholism if the wine is really expensive

Re: Crutches

JD

I echo the others' warnings about Antabuse. I think it's one of the worst medications on the market. I once took it and stupidly drank while taking it (well I am an alcholic after all, but it can happen). I got extremely sick and was carted away to hospital in an ambulance and had to be given liquids through a drip all night.

It's too dangerous a drug if you do slip...... stay away from it is my advice.

Mish

[Guest]

It's not alcoholism if the wine is really expensive

Re: Crutches

Thanks, I think this is advice I will take.

[Guest]

It's not alcoholism if the wine is really expensive

Re: Crutches

Welcome JD -- you have found a great place for understanding and support. We've all had the feelings of hopelessness, guilt, shame -- you name it. But try looking at it this way: If you had another health concern, like high blood pressure or diabetes, would you feel ashamed? No, probably not, but you would do what you needed to in order to control it. That's what we are all trying to do here, so you're in the right place.

You really should read the book as soon as you're able -- this will give you most of the info you need about the program. The rest you can fine on here, as we are constantly discussing what we find that works, and what doesn't.

All the aspects of the program are important. I have found the supplements -- particularly the kudzu -- to be especially helpful.

Good luck to you and keep sharing!

Mike

[Guest]

It's not alcoholism if the wine is really expensive

Re: Crutches

Hi Mike,

Funny what you said, because as it happens I do have high blood pressure, which I know is also associated with my alcohol consumption, which of course also makes me feel guilty! My book comes tomorrow and I'm really looking forward to reading it and starting in earnest.

Until I get it off the ground, I find coming to this site and reading everyone's messages is encouraging and enlightening. I like that this approach is not quite so all-or-nothing, that there is room for three steps forward and a couple back...which seems more realistic and somehow doable.

Thanks to all of you for sharing your steps, both forward and back.

[Guest]

It's not alcoholism if the wine is really expensive

Re: Guilt

Hey jd,
In the future may your guilt be replaced by hope! You are only human. The book is a great way to help get your life back in order. Best of luck on the journey.
Donna.

[Guest]

It's not alcoholism if the wine is really expensive

Re: Crutches

Hi JD...welcome! I am very new as well. I don't have my meds yet, ordering tonight. I have the pfd version of the book and am reading, reading, reading. Good that you are going to steer clear of the antibuse for now. I was prescribed meds for an illness in October that closely mimics antibuse. I remember the nurses saying DO NOT DRINK...no one asked me when my last drink was..in any case..it made me sick sick sick. I had been toying with ordering antibuse on line and ruled it out. Good luck...you've found a wonderful site full of never ending information!
Lilly

[Guest]

It's not alcoholism if the wine is really expensive

Re: Crutches

Thanks Lilly. The thing I like best about this site is that so many of the people sound like me, and struggle with the same things. I've read lots of books on the subject of alcohol abuse and very few ever seemed to describe the kind of drinker I am. Outwardly "normal" and seemingly OK, managing life, work, family?pretty much a model citizen?except for the secret guilt, shame and daily struggle. Even my husband (who I live, work and commute with!) doesn't see how much I've been drinking. Not that I want anyone to notice of course. All of the sneakiness, guilt and worry are kind of exhausting. When I have stopped drinking for periods in the past, the thing I remember most clearly was not having to beat myself up every morning mentally. It was such a relief. And it sounds so very simple just to choose to do what is good for you. I make healthy choices in nearly every other aspect of my life. I've always wondered why this is such an exception. Thanks to all of you. Sharing this helps.

[Guest]

It's not alcoholism if the wine is really expensive

Re: Crutches

jd8865;

Thanks for posting...I can so relate to daily functioning...work, kids, husband and taking care of the responsibilities to help hold them together, we are the ones that really need help! Just know that coming here reminds you that you are among people that are in the same place..The struggle is so similar for each of us the need to survive..

Brandy