I checked this site out a few months ago after a drinking episode that ended in a confrontation with my husband. Now I'm back again, with a few more confrontations under my belt. I know I'm an alcoholic, have known for years. I went through inpatient treatment when I was 25 and managed to stay off AL for several years. I went through cycles after that in which I'd drink, but would quickly recover.
More recently, my husband deployed to Iraq...and I had 15 months in which to thoroughly re-acquaint myself with my alcoholic side. He's back (and unharmed), and I'm still drinking. Yesterday, when he was out fishing with a friend, and when I was supposed to be working on school work (I'm in a PhD program), I went out and got myself a bottle of whiskey, thinking that I deserved a leisurely drink as I studied.
Today, the bottle is gone.
I'm very scared that I can't stop this time, and I am terrified that I'm driving my darling husband away. I'm afraid of exposure. I'm afraid of being sober. I'm afraid.
Well, that's the emo side of me. The practical side of me wants to find something that works, and to find people that I can talk to about this. From what I've seen of this site, this may be the place for me. I look forward to learning more about this site and all of you.
I appreciate any advice and good thoughts that anyone cares to send my way.
Thanks,
Syrpentine.
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