kids are smart

[Guest]

kids are smart

Good job!

Good job, Marie - I hope you had a good time at dinner. Congrats on not celebrating with "the forbidden substance" And way to go on getting back up on that horse!!

Jane.

[Guest]

kids are smart

Good job!

Hey Marie!
I'll add my congratulations for getting back on that horse - literally and figuratively! You go, girl!

Adria

[Guest]

kids are smart

Good Job!

Hey Marie,

I can't tell you how happy I am for you! I had a great feeling that you were going to do it. Reaching out can make all the difference! You go girl!

Hugs!
Kathy!

[Guest]

kids are smart

kids are smart

I've been thinking all night about how this disease has affected my boys childhood. When I first started going to AA in 2003, my boys were 10, 8 and 2. There was no way in hell I was going to talk to them about it at that time. Then Jan 2004 came along when my husband took me in for a 3 day detox. He felt he had to tell his family, some friends, AND my boys that I was an alcoholic. I think I still carry a lot of resentment about this. I just wasn't ready. It was hard enough having to face it myself, but to face everyone else was unbearable. When I was in the hospital, I had to miss my sons 1st reconciliation (Catholic school!). One of the teachers noticed I wasn't there, and asked my then 8 year old if I was at work. He told her that his mom was an alcoholic and was in the hospital. She later confronted me about this in a very loving way (her brother is a recovering addict). It was so hard! In some ways, I was happy he felt he could confide in someone. I brought this on myself, and I'd hate for him to have to bury his feelings inside. But still to this day, everytime I see teachers at school I feel embarrassed, ashamed, a whole array of emotions. Sometimes I internally say "F U all! Got a problem w/ that? At least I'm working on it!". I guess it's sort of like how really overweight people might feel. Their issue is out there and so obvious externally. I feel so exposed at their school and my church. Somehow I manage thru. I bought the concept in AA that this is a "family disease". They try to get kids to go to kids Al Anon meetings, which I never did. I don't believe in burdening them in my illness like that. They are very happy, well adjusted kids who have many activites, friends, good grades, strong faith, etc. In some ways it's good they know about my struggles. They accept my problem as a disease (my 12 and 10 yo) and know when I am doing well. They love me SO much, total mama boys. There is so much drinking in our church community, that I think it does help them to have a different perspective on drinking....it's not all fun and games. They've lived the bad side w/me. They are very anti-alcohol, drug, etc, because of this. They tell me stories about other friends parents who drink and sometimes too much. I explain that NOT all people have problems with this. If they do, they have to come to that conclusion themselves. They understand that. All my 4 yo knows is that wine makes mama sick. Any time we are in the grocery store and he sees wine bottles, he points at it and says "bad stuff!". That's all he needs to know at this point. It sure keeps me in check! Thanks for listening....Gina

[Guest]

kids are smart

Gina - It sounds to me like you are being very open and honest with your boys. I'm kind of treating this whole alcohol thing with me as I do about talking to me kids about sex. I don't want to freak them out by getting too "in depth" for their age. My 15 year old and 13 year old daughters are old enough to know what's going on with me and I'm trying to use it as a teaching tool for themselves if and when they ever want to drink alcohol. They haven't yet and have told me so. You'd be surprised at how many 15-year-olds do drink around here. And not just beer - gin, vodka, whatever they can get their hands on from their parents liquor cabinets. Anyway, my 8-year-old son know that Mom gets sleepy after drinking wine and that's about the extent of it. I don't think he's old enough to know the "whole story".

Anyway, personally I think it sounds like you have a great relationship with your boys and you should be very proud of that. I'm sure they love their mom very much and are happy that you are there for them now. Don't worry about the teachers, parents, etc. We all have skeletons in our closets. You never know what's going with other people who seemingly look "normal" (whatever that is).

Your boys are lucky to have such a caring mom.

Jane.

[Guest]

kids are smart

Gina;

I read your reply yesterday, thanks!

Anyway, I got SO DRUNK YESTERDAY, I don't know how I even made it to bed..

Brandy

[Guest]

kids are smart

Hey Brandy

I like your honesty - you ok?

Hugs
Marie

[Guest]

kids are smart

Thanks Marie;

Right now all I know is drinking yesterday was not the answer.

ps...but it sure as hell got me through the night..I can still count only 5 or 6 times I have drank (not how many drinks, but the episodes of drinking) I guess that should be something for me to remember since I started on this road Nov. 1st ..

Brandy

I have to attend church in the morn, so I know I'll be ok..Major bummer for my family to see me do what I did, knowing that I had been doing pretty good with staying away from the Heiniken..