HELP

[Cherbear]

HELP

Hey Ash, We all have been there. hating ourselves, the shame and feeling like its not worth the effort but deep down you KNOW it is worth it. just don't drink tonight and then tomorrow is a new day and keep posting. The urges are so strong at first and I kept my arsenal in the fridge of sparkling drinks and I poured them in my wine glass at the witching hour of right after work for me and if that didn't work I come here.... we are with you baby.

[nancy]

HELP

First steps

Hi Ash

I think people have a lot of black and white views about alcoholism.

My advice is to start with a few books available on Amazon:
My way out, Roberta Jewell (also avail on this site)
Easy Way to Control Alcohol (Allan Carr)
Seven Steps to Sobriety by Joan Matthews Larson (nutrition)
How to Quit Drinking without AA by Jerry Dorsman

You should also be made aware of SMART recovery, which has groups across the US. Google it!

You should be aware that people on the outside only get their information about alcoholism from 12-step based groups.

What your parents think doesn't matter at this point really. What do you think about yourself?

You also should be aware that with some people it takes a long time to change but it is possible. Read through all the threads here. The supplements are not miraculous, but a healthy diet does reap rewards.

The best thing you can do is to:

1. Love yourself as you are with flaws
2. Realize that people on the outside often don't understand drinking problems
3. You want to change, for yourself and because you love your family
4. Stop the panic. Panic is one driver of addiction. so is low self-esteem.
5. Effecitve pharma aids are available for treatment, including anti-seizure meds, naltrexone, campral, antabuse. You need to weigh side effects against benefits.

You are lucky that your husband is with you. My advice, as long as you think you are dirt you won't get out of this. What can you say to console yourself after your bad behavior? Try to write it down.

[gabby1go]

HELP

Ash,

Nancy (and others) have some excellent advice. Go one day without AL, just one, and then go one more, and with each day of sobriety, you will start feeling better about yourself. You can't do ANYTHING about the past. You can only do SOMETHING about tomorrow. Forget the guilt, shame, anger, judgement. Start thinking about rebuilding your life. You can't worry about what anyone else thinks because, frankly, they don't understand. Only you can change you for you. It isn't easy but it is doable. We have all been there. Get your arsenal together (books, supplements, meds, journals, etc.) and face this thing head on. And realize that you are not alone. We are here. We are with you. We know. Gabby.

[SunDaisy]

HELP

Ash,
Just keep coming back to us and to this site, keep the dialogue. We are here, we are in the same boat. There are a LOT of women in the same boat as you, sucessful women, wives and mothers who have fallen trap to this horrible habitual monster.

I am new and I am scared and I am 12 days without alcohol. I have been on this site EVERY day since and I have the books, CDs and friends. I know that having my MWO has made this possible. Keep coming back!

Sun

[Prest4time]

HELP

ASH,

Welcome. I know you have a lot to process, but I know exactly how you feel. Your family can say things that can make you feel worse than you already do. "Somehow" (it's just their way), they feel that making you feel like crap will "shake you" into your senses. They have no idea how awful and guilty you already feel. Believe me... I know. They are only trying to help. Try to have grace for their ignorance as to how to help, as they do for not understanding your struggle.

There is a wealth of information here, but take it one bite at a time. It's all you can do, and be gentle with yourself in the meantime. Having been in your shoes, I will tell you that your family loves you to pieces, and baby steps will go MILES with them. Stop thinking about never having a glass of red wine again. That is the thought process that will lead you to a glass of wine in five minutes. Just do today...tonight. That's it.

You have strength for today. Tomorrow, you will have strength for tomorrow. Dont throw it away because you are worried about how you will deal with a glass of wine tomorrow. Tomorrow will come, and so will the strength for tomorrow. Dont waste the strength you have been given today worrying about tomorrow!

Wishing you all the best
P4T

[Evie.Lou]

HELP

Welcome ASH,Are you OK this morning?You got such great advise from everyone.As I read their posts it helped me as well.We are in this together....Feels GREAT not to be alone in the struggles,doesn't it?....Evie