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    #1

    A Newbie! Please help!

    I just found this website and have sent off for the book, supplement program, and CDs. Any advice from anyone would be helpful. I am recently divorced after 30 years. Dad put his first child through private university, but is now refusing to help the second child. She is in her 2nd year of college and I recently confiscated a large bottle of Vodka from her bag when she came home. There is a long line of genetic alcoholism on both sides of our family and I need to quit as I am drinking more heavily since the divorce. I would like to totally abstain. How difficult is that? I calculated what I have been spending on drinks and cigarettes per month and it is slightly more than what the program cost.

    I do have a sister who is a physician. She would probably be willing to call in a prescription med for me, but I am very concerned about side effects. I drink almost on a daily basis, and not just "light" stuff. I do not drink during the day as I have a very demanding job. However, some days I can't wait to get home so I can "feel some relief" from the stress.
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    #2
    A Newbie! Please help!

    Hi sweetnell! I come from a long line of alcoholics and have battled with it on and off for 10 years. As soon as I think I can "moderate" I end back up on a binge that last weeks or months. I've FINALLY learned I just have to stay totally away from alcohol, the smallest amount and it just starts all over again. I'm sick of the vicious cycle and am on day 5 and feeling really good. My daughter is only 2 and I'm terrirfied that she will get the same problem as I have.
    Have you talked to your daughter?
    I understand the wating to escape and getting some relief but you know as I'm sure you well do, it only lasts for a short time then we pay a HUGE price after it's gone and end up feeling worse in the end.
    This is a wonderful site, it's really helped me get to 5 days without anything and let me tell you for me, that's HUGE, I get on here if I get an urge,craving, mood swing and it helps to see you are not alone in this battle. ((((HUGS))))
    OH, and it's amazing how much more money we have in our checking account with me not drinking for 5 days, I REALLY know where you are coming from on that one!
    Sobriety is like my avatar. It was always right there in front of me but I couldn't see it!

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      #3
      A Newbie! Please help!

      Thanks so much for your support. My daughter is now 19 and at that critical "partying" stage even though she is in a Christian based university. My Dad died at the age of 53 and the cause of death listed on his certificate is "Chronic Alcoholism". I don't want that on mine or either of my children's. It's great that you have started while your daughter is only 2. Five days should feel like a real accomplishment! I"m probably a lot like you in that I don't think I can moderate. I just need to quit!

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        #4
        A Newbie! Please help!

        Thanks, 5 days, yea one minute at a time, just one minute but it gets a little bit easier each day. But, I've done this and slipped so many times but this time, now that my daughter is getting older, it has to stop.
        My grandfather died of liver cancer at 60 and my mother, well I worry terribly about her drinking.
        19, college, with the family history, bless her heart she has alot to battle. The stress of college alone is enough to start, that's when I did. After that the longest stretch was 2 years because I was pregnant and then nursed for a year, but it slowly crept back up on me.
        It's a really hard thing to finally just have to accept the fact that you just have to abstain from drinking all together when it's so socially acceptable and it's everywhere you go. I really hate the fact that I can't drink socially like "normal" people but with my family history and my personality it's just not meant to be. It's done MUCH more damage then good so I just have to say goodbye all together, but I'm not going to lie, it isn't easy. :0( I love my beer but it doesn't love me! :0)
        Sobriety is like my avatar. It was always right there in front of me but I couldn't see it!

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          #5
          A Newbie! Please help!

          Hi Sweetnell,
          The nice thing about this site is that you get real hope, because so many have been helped. Also you choose for yourself whether you go abs or mod. For the first time in many years I managed 15 days AF in May and am already on 14 for June and I just know that I'll be adding the AF days with every single month..Welcome aboard.
          Jessie
          make the least of the worst, and the most of the best - everyday.

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            #6
            A Newbie! Please help!

            I'm proud of you! I wish I could say the same thing. I can't wait to get the program in the mail. I sent off for it priority mail, so anticipate it on Wednesday. My oldest daughter has a friend who quit drinking last year after she rolled her car over on the freeway. She can't remember how she got there, but thankfully no one else was involved in the accident. She quit cold turkey and I need to check on her to see how she is doing. She did not receive a DUI for the accident, but it was a real wake-up cal for her.

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              #7
              A Newbie! Please help!

              Hi Sweetnell.....I'd like to invite you to a new thread....Newbies Unite......newcomers like JMT and myself and many others are there to help each other face our challenge....hope you'll visit....you won't regret it................................Renewal

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                #8
                A Newbie! Please help!

                Sweetnell, Welcome, I know you will find many friends and much information here to help you.
                Read as much as you can and post daily if possible. There is always someone to talk to here
                who has been down the road before you and can offer invaluable insight.

                Good Luck
                Biscuit

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                  #9
                  A Newbie! Please help!

                  hello sweetnell good chatting with you in chat .. hang in there you can do this good luck
                  :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
                  best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

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                    #10
                    A Newbie! Please help!

                    Hi Sweetnell,

                    Welcome. This site is great. You will find many people like you and in very similar circumstances. I don't have children but I too have alcoholism in my family. Get a few AF days behind you. You will start feeling better physically and begin to think clearer as well. It is tough but you can do it!! We are here if you need help and support. All the best. Gabby.
                    Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      A Newbie! Please help!

                      Hi Sweet--

                      Every day seems to get easier and easier--really! It's hard to explain. I think you're doing the right thing getting started with the book and all the tools. In hindsight I would have done that too. I started out my journey by wanting to quit smoking and it was quite clear the drinking had to go too. I still cannot drink without wanting a smoke to go with the beer! So I tried moderating for awhile and really cut down my AL consumption--but just can't control my drinking in most social situations. And then I blow it by smoking too! So I started 30 days af and I'm on day 22. I feel so much better, and I hardly crave at all. (as long as I stay away from my drinking/smoking friends for now)
                      _______________
                      NF since June 1, 2008
                      AF since September 28, 2008
                      DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
                      _____________
                      :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
                      5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
                      _______________
                      The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

                      Comment

                        #12
                        A Newbie! Please help!

                        Hi sweetnell, Im just starting out too, I have just completed my first day AF and although Im not really feeling the health benefits so much right now, just to wake up this morning without a hangover was pure bliss.

                        I didnt actually find it that hard yesterday and I probably picked the worst day (for me personally) to quit. I too was a daily heavy drinker, wine was my poison and it was mostly two bottles a night. what I did yesterday was spend what I normally spend on booze stocking up on juices and smoothies and herbal teas. I really do believe the suppliments helped a lot yesterday and Im far happier putting those good things into my body.

                        I just hope it forgives me for all the damage I have done to it over these last few years.

                        Both my parents are daily drinkers too, its harder when you have been brought up in pubs isnt it

                        I dont want this for my daughters either, I wish you luck

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                          #13
                          A Newbie! Please help!

                          Hey Sweetnell,

                          Welcome from me also. Great to see you have ordered all the supps etc already. You are already taking all the right steps with this one. Plus when your daughter sees that you are successfully making changes,...she may want to change her drinking patterns too.
                          Good for you.
                          Amelia

                          Sober since 30/06/10

                          Comment

                            #14
                            A Newbie! Please help!

                            Hi there Sweetnell and the whole MWO comunity. I have just found the site and am at that critical stage where I am just finally accepting that I have a problem with alcohol and I allow it to control me. As you mentioned JMT I don't think I can trust myself to to moderate. It seems that that is the thing I would like although I feel that it would eventually rear it's ugly head again. Am glad I have found this site and want to comence my own recovery from here on. Am terrified I will lose all that is precious to me If I don't begin to deal with this and face up to it. I don't want to be a an ostrich and put my head in the sand.
                            Looking forward to a new beggining.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              A Newbie! Please help!

                              Feeling Hopeful But Stressed

                              I hope when I post this message that it goes to everyone who has replied to me. I assume it does, but haven't dealt much with chat rooms and websites. I have not yet gotten the program in the mail, but look for it every day. I stopped yesterday at a vitaman store on the way home from work and bought Kudzoo, Milk Thistle, etc. and have added them to my normal vitamin regimen. Do the supplements really help? My drink of choice is usually Jack Daniels Black Label. Since I found this site on the weekend, I have only had a few beers (not ever been a favorite) and white wine. I would like to totally abstain. Any advice and encouragement is appreciated and I thank all of you for answering. :sun:

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