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    1st timer Questions Sex Lies Drugs

    Got your attention?

    Ok I'm almost a first timer - or I will be starting next Monday with my Dr.'s appointment. She's agreed to prescribe Topamax for me. I bought the book after finding this website last week and I'm really excited about getting with the program - it makes SO much sense to me! I know I've had issues with brain chemicals being wonky in the past and I almost asked my Dr for Antabuse when I had an appt a couple of weeks ago but didn't. She always asks "do you drink? how much?" And I always say "too much". So this time when I came home from the appt I started researching and found MWO.

    But I have some questions. For one, I haven't told my DH (dear husband) because I've hidden my drinking from him. I know I know, it's not really hidden. I know he knows but probably not how much and how often. He's an ex AA member - sober 25+ years and has offered to "drop me off or go with me" if I wanted to go. I know he will be my number one supporter....I just kind of want to get it under my belt first and say 'I did it myself' first. I'm just tired of the weight gain, of the dependency of it, the sneaking around and lying, the smell. I know basically 'why' I drink but have just been helpless to quit - until now. I just know this is going to work for me.

    So the first question is - can I start this therapy without it being obvious? I think I can but that leads me to my next question. Does it affect your sex drive? And my third question is - can you buy your supplements locally like Kudzu? I saw in the book where she said that you could just order the hypnosis CD but I don't see that option? Is it really important? I'm not sure how much I would listen to it. What are the most important items?

    oh - and has this helped anyone else with cigarette smoking? I smoke too much, drink too much, chew my fingernails too much, grind my teeth at night too much and read too much - I think my last count was 700+ books MOL last year from the public library alone.

    #2
    1st timer Questions Sex Lies Drugs

    Aollwoingtoo,
    I only will attempt to answer your final question. What are the most important items?
    In My Humble Opinion, the most important item is your own desire to quit drinking. Everything else, in my opinion again, is just a tool to help you do that.
    Contact me if you want..I check my PM's pretty often.
    Stay Strong, and Good Luck! You CAN do this!
    BHOG
    War isn't working. Let's try Peace!

    Comment


      #3
      1st timer Questions Sex Lies Drugs

      Hey there! Welcome!
      Just saying hi! Still finding mywayaround on mwo.
      Can't help with your questions though, my DH is the one with the problem.
      So I go round mwo just giving support & trying to get to know some of the folks.
      Have you been to the Laugh out Loud page? When my DH gets me down, it lifts me up!
      Regards
      Artcat

      Comment


        #4
        1st timer Questions Sex Lies Drugs

        Hi and welcome,

        If you believe the program will work for you, believe me, it will work for you!!! It has worked for so many others, myself included!!! You can fine tune it to fit yourself in whatever manner works for you. I had everything except the Topamax when I started, and quite frankly, only used the CD's the first week. I find them rather costly too, and probably don't find them worth it, but some people do think they work really well - everybody is different. As to keep to the therapy without being obvious? Of course -nobody has to know, although it certainly helps to have support at home with it. Are you going to get all the supps to help you with it?? I did all the supps through May but only started the Topa in June with a prescription from my doc, and have been AF ever since - and although it is not a magic pill, as it still takes will power and you have to want to do this - I find it definitely helps. What is best of all about the program is this forum - the support is amazing and in a way, makes us somewhat accountable, although nobody judges - it is a truly remarkable place to be.

        Kudzu is apparently best ordered from the site - Kudzu and L-glut for AL cravings. Others use other things too and can tell you that stuff - I just used the stuff recommended by Roberta.

        As for your sex drive??? Hmmmm.... No... Except for that darned fatigue that sets in when first going AL free!! Man - with the insomnia and tiredness - that may affect your sexlife somewhat!! But rest assured - after your body adjusts to living without alcohol, everything else in life readjust too - never fear!!! Life is good!!

        Hope this helps!
        Best of luck - look forward to getting to hear about your successes!!!
        Peanut

        Comment


          #5
          1st timer Questions Sex Lies Drugs

          Oh, and by the way - when I was drinking every night, I smoked too much, chewed my nails, went through a book every 3 days (it was the wine/ciggies/book triple habit), and grind my teeth like mad. Still grinding my teeth terribly - have to work on that one - but down to 2 ciggies a day now, taking a while to get through the books now as I have to go to bed at night as I am tired. Are we twins??????

          Comment


            #6
            1st timer Questions Sex Lies Drugs

            Hi. I've been wondering about the sex part to. Sober sex? Sounds like an oxymoron to me. I know it will eventually seem very natural but right now it's hard to get my kink on without copius amounts of alcohol!

            Comment


              #7
              1st timer Questions Sex Lies Drugs

              peanut - twins? I am a Gemini

              I can read any ordinary paperback book in a couple of hours. And yes, I remember what I read unfortunately. I'm not talking about a Harlequin romance novel either.

              I hate grinding my teeth. I have to wear a mouth guard at night. I used to be on Zoloft and it was horrible!

              Thanks all!

              Comment


                #8
                1st timer Questions Sex Lies Drugs

                I'm actually looking forward to when I can 'come clean' with DH. I know he will be as excited as I am. But he just lost his son this past year due to alcohol and I don't want to get his hopes up until I know I can whip this. I just wish I'd found this in time to have helped his son!

                I didn't used to drink. I've actually quit smoking pot (still clean) twice as that used to be my drug of choice. It still would be if it were legal. I don't drink until I black out (watched Intervention last night on TV and went to be MOL sober!) and I never smoked pot until I was wasted. I just need(ed) to get that edge off. I'm 54 and I used to have a great spiritual life and it wasn't until we moved and I haven't been able to regain that connection.

                I just recently read Courageous Souls by Robert Schwartz and that helped me become a lot clearer about all this and I guess started me back on this path. My ex husband molested my daughter (his stepdaughter since she was 3) and was abusive towards me for basically 10 of the 12 years we were married. As soon as the day I found out I kicked him to the curb. But I've hated myself ever since then for letting my daughter down.

                It's really kind of a strange but true story how I met my DH and how he helped me when I was going through all that. I can just sum it up and say he was a gift from God. I was doing great until we moved back here to where it all happened and away from the church and spiritual group that had helped me evolve. I know that's no excuse but it didn't help either.

                Can't wait till Monday! I printed out the coupon from the Topamax website for the free 42 25mg tabs so I KNOW I'll be starting Monday on it.

                Comment


                  #9
                  1st timer Questions Sex Lies Drugs

                  You have to do what's right for you. You know in your own heart when enough is enough; and having your husband support you will be a tremendous help as he has been there before.

                  As far as the sex drive goes; I have never had an issue. But, everyone is built differently. The good point is that you remember everything, your senses and your body aren't numbed..I guess you can say. Sober sex is fantastic!

                  Comment


                    #10
                    1st timer Questions Sex Lies Drugs

                    Allowingtoo,

                    When you go to your doctor, ask about a sleep aid. My doctor gave me Trazadone (sp?) and it is great. I don't wake up completely drugged like when I take Benadryl or something.

                    Other sleep aids are Melatonin and L-Tryptophan.

                    It really does help in that first couple of weeks to get sleep, which you won't if you don't get a sleep aid.

                    However, I am not sure about taking Topamax with Trazadone. I am glad you are going to your doctor. That is a very wise choice.

                    Good luck!! (Oh, and I do agree that the desire and the will are the most important, everything else is just a way to make it easier. MUCH easier.)

                    Cindi
                    AF April 9, 2016

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