Dear Alcohol,
We go back a long way, you and I. I remember the first time I felt your touch. For a very long time it was a magical touch, but then the magic began to wear off and I became powerless.
I speak to you as if you were a person. At times you were my best friend, at times you were my love. You were always there, ready to take me in and keep me forever. When I was hurt and lonely you took my pain away, but soon after, when I was happy you took my joy also.
I loved you more than I loved life itself. For so long you were the center of all my waking minutes, and you were in all my dreams. I lived to feel you deep inside my body. I trembled in the morning until I could feel your calm go thru me. At times you made me feel like I could take on the world and within the next minute, death was my only wish.
During our years together, I got to know you quite well. I knew your ups and downs and I loved the calm of you. For this high, I gave up my dignity, self respect and had you asked, I would have sold my soul.
I have put myself and my kids thru a living hell for this relationship of ours.
If I continue to love you, I will die. I am powerless over you, this I know. Some might say I am defeated, I have no will power but only thru my acceptance can I be free from your clenching grip.
I will learn how to think and live and love without you. I know you will always be there waiting fo me to come back. I also know I will have days where I may cry out to feel your touch. But for this minute, this hour, this day, I cannot nor will not have you.
For today I can admit I am powerless over you, and only God can save me from your grips......(or MWO or science for those of us doing the meds!!).
You cause pain and hurt to all you touch, and yet you are loved! So many people like myself are still outside, slowly dying. I don't want to die like that. I want to feel so many things and I want to live so I must end our relationship. I have already found I can replace you so to you, dear alcohol, I say goodbye.
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