My Mom died from the big "C" almost a year ago and it was pretty devastating especially when I lived across the United States. I also lost my Career as a Travel Agent because I think I took my Mom's illness a little to hard and was not the most responsible person during that time. Things seem to go down hill for me to. The final straw that drove me to AF was only last night, when this guy came over. we had only been on 4 to 5 dates but these bruises on my body explained to me that I need to make better judgement calls.
Since I lost my Career, I now take courses in the Medical Field. While I am working on Certified Medical Assisting, I work as a Care-giver for Elderly and will soon start school in Gerontology. Perhaps you could get a Care-giver or a Personal Care Assistant, I only charge $10.00 per hour and have been offered more but I feel that $10 is fine right now. I love people and never want to take advantage of anyone, because I respect myself and others.
So far, this "My way out", has been a blessing in disguise. People have come to me and opened their hearts. I have literally spent a great deal of today online, reading stories like yours. I was told that if I could remain AF for 30 days then a lot of my guilt would subside and I believe this. I can read the pain in your message when you spoke of the Care-giver having the big "C". Please try to allow yourself to get out more because its so important for your well being. My thoughts and prayers are to you.
Oh and I like IAD to, he's so cool!
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