Ok so now I've really done a number on myself last night. While dreaming about my Mom, who past away a little over a year ago, I was woke up and being that I had already drank 4 LARGE glasses of wine, proceeded to let a sort of "ex" boyfriend into my apartment. He's not a bad guy but I'm just not interested in pursuing this thing that he calls "love".
Big-big mistake to let him in, i allowed myself to be physically abused, I ALLOWED MYSELF! I have got to get some help here, I am absolutely lost here in Oregon and want to go back home to Atlanta where things used to be so normal.
I have to try to stop drinking for 30 days, so this will be my first day. I was going to try on June 10, (My Birthday), really stupid thing to try on my b-day. I say, well why not..Only 30 days, it will be a fun thing to do. Ok, that was back on June 10th and although I haven't had a drink every single day since June 10th, last night was just to much.:upset:
You know I remember having my birthday and back in Atlanta I used to have so many friends. One birthday me and about 15 of my friends, co-workers and all were sitting on the sun deck at Cheesecake Factory when I saw this huge rainbow, which symbolizes Gods Promise. I started to cry right there in front of everyone because it meant so much to see that rainbow on my birthday.
When I was driving home from the vet, (my cat has a huge lump in her throat), I had forgotten my keys and didn't realize it because I always have a spare set in my purse. So I turned around to see yet another huge rainbow, this was the biggest one I had ever seen. I mean it reached from one side of the sky to the other! Since I was let go from my job at the Pharmacy, I feel like God was still there looking down on me.
I'm so scared and now black and blue in places that I shouldn't be. I mean this has got to stop now and I will be checking in every single day until I can get this monkey off my back.
So please help, any words of encouragement would really help out and I'll try to be in a better mood as time goes by.
Big-big mistake to let him in, i allowed myself to be physically abused, I ALLOWED MYSELF! I have got to get some help here, I am absolutely lost here in Oregon and want to go back home to Atlanta where things used to be so normal.
I have to try to stop drinking for 30 days, so this will be my first day. I was going to try on June 10, (My Birthday), really stupid thing to try on my b-day. I say, well why not..Only 30 days, it will be a fun thing to do. Ok, that was back on June 10th and although I haven't had a drink every single day since June 10th, last night was just to much.:upset:
You know I remember having my birthday and back in Atlanta I used to have so many friends. One birthday me and about 15 of my friends, co-workers and all were sitting on the sun deck at Cheesecake Factory when I saw this huge rainbow, which symbolizes Gods Promise. I started to cry right there in front of everyone because it meant so much to see that rainbow on my birthday.
When I was driving home from the vet, (my cat has a huge lump in her throat), I had forgotten my keys and didn't realize it because I always have a spare set in my purse. So I turned around to see yet another huge rainbow, this was the biggest one I had ever seen. I mean it reached from one side of the sky to the other! Since I was let go from my job at the Pharmacy, I feel like God was still there looking down on me.
I'm so scared and now black and blue in places that I shouldn't be. I mean this has got to stop now and I will be checking in every single day until I can get this monkey off my back.
So please help, any words of encouragement would really help out and I'll try to be in a better mood as time goes by.
ay number 2 - hmmm, feels perfect.
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