same old story

[maggymay]

it is over five weeks since i have been on line with you guys and of course i have been drinking my little head off.... i dont know what to do. I have a friend calling up now for dinner and i will be pretending i am sober. i have had i dont know how many fights with my boyfriend - getting stuck in him about nothing.

want to stop drinking but dont seem to be able to manage more than a couple of days.

help

[Ripple]

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it is so hard...you will know when the time is right. when you are filled to the brim of SH*T you will say..."thats it..." anytime now you will decide to reclaim your life once and for all, or at least try. take care of yourself first, then the rest falls right into place. :heartsnflowers:

[maggymay]

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thanks ripple for that. spoke to my friend when he called and he too wants to stop drinking. so maybe we can do it together. think you are right and i might be ready to quit now. fingers crossed!!

[IAD]

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MAGGY....JUST REMEMBER ARE ALTERNETIVE...YOUR AT A GOOD PLACE ! IAD!

[tlrgs]

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hey one or two days its a start and you did it once you can do it again..
stay strong and remember you can do this and you are not alone

[maggymay]

same old story

thank you so much for the support. i am going to try this again and this time will stay in touch with you all.

[bjor88ste]

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Hello all,

I joined this thread long time ago (or so it seems!) - early this year when I first tried MWO. I totally did not succeed, with Topamax and All One only, I still drank at least 2 bottles of wine a day.
I just wanted to share my MWO story so far, because frankly, if I can do it (at least for a month), anyone can - and I would like to get back into this thread again. It gave me a sense of belonging somewhere, reading all your e-mails......so here goes.
I have been drinking forever, like RJ through a successful career, drinking 1-2 bottles of wine in the evenings. The last 4-5 years I have worked independently, from home, bored stiff, a fightful marriage and lots of wine, 2-3 bottles of wine a day/evening. (I think the only thing that saved me throughout is that I have always otherwised lived healthy - exercise and healthy food - and even that was going downhill).
I very recently moved back to Europe again after many years in the US - not easy. Going through lots of challenging stuff (divorce, bankruptcy, finding new job, all that stuff and lots more), was still drinking, could not stop on my own. However, MWO kept coming back to me - my health was in serious danger (I am small, my liver number very high), and I knew I had to something. I was deperate. So finally, I reread the book, this time I ordered all the supplements and DVDs, finally got it, and determined (and with a small supply of Lorazepam for the beginning), I got started. I had stayed on Topamax (100 mg AM/PM all along and that is where I began day one). 10 days AF, 2 days back on wine (the acual divorce), 15 days AF, and now drinking in moderation - 1 to 2 (max) glasses on occasion. I realized today that I have had the same bottle of wine for 3 days, and I still have 2 glasses or more left! That has NEVER happened before. I am so excited, feel great, and am hooked on - Green Tea! It really is just like she writes in her book. I did not believe it when I read it, but so far so good. I would like to think that if I fail, I will know how to pick myself up, and start back up where I left. Could this be the reason that since day one I accidentally stumbled across MWO searching for a solution on the internet, I was so drawn to the program! Anyone had similar experiences - and still going strong?

[maggymay]

same old story

thank god it's monday

Thank goodness I had the sense last night to stop drinking. I hope to make a proper effort this time and just stay away from it. I will take it one day at a time and take good care of myself. I had a bad night - effects of alchohol, guilt, feeling loss of parents, missing my children and so much more but now feel a bit better and looking forward to seeing Neil Young tonight with my friend.

I cant believe how I allow myself to get into such a state - it is so stupid but it just keeps happening. I always manage to get up, work and so on but I know it is creeping up on me and the crash is inevitable.

I will stay in touch with MWO and keep posting.:thanks:

maggymay

[Captnjack]

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Good on you maggie make "such a state" history!!!!!!
Ps lucky you I would love to see Neil Young let us know what the old bugger was like ok Love cap

[maggymay]

same old story

will do.... saw Eric Clapton on Friday so things cant be that bad.

Life is what you make it I guess.

[river0123]

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Bj88ste:
I think I ordered the book last October and kind of played around with the idea of quitting (actually my goal is moderation also). I had some really high liver scores also, and had just had a scan that revealed spots on my liver. I freaked out, sure that I had drank myself into liver cancer. After a stressful week and CT scan (so nervous of course I had to drink!), they were confirmed as fatty liver spots. Since then I have been on a total liver cleanse (pills a day/flaxseed/fish oil, etc.), but do you think I was giving up my jack & cokes? No way! It took my nearly choking on my own vomit last Tuesday to make it to day 6 today. I have more tests tomorrow to check my liver scores, and my husband asked me yesterday if we could "whoop it up" after the test. I told him to go away, he's killing me!
I'm going to try the green tea, so far the CD's have me pretty convinced that I want a cool refreshing tasty beverage, so I'm coming up with all kinds of healthy optioins. I'm anxiously awaiting my AllOne powder.
I'm so happy to read about your success and pray it continues! It's nice to know we can stumble and pick ourselves back up without shame. The most important thing is that we don't give up, always keep trying.

[gabby1go]

same old story

Maggy May,

Things will get better. Also, if your friend is willing to be your "buddy" you can not drink together. It is always good to have a support system physically close to you. Once you get some AF days behind you is seems to get easier. Sleep gets better, waking with no hangover is a joy, being able to drive where ever you want, less anxiety, guilt and hiding. You can do it!

Let us know how Neil was. I've seem him 3 times and he was amazing each and every time.

Gabby.

[maggymay]

same old story

day one over and not too bad

Well, Neil Young was absolutely amazing and I was so glad to be there AF. What a guy - just fantastic. I feel so lucky to have been able to see him live. Now, that was not too bad and i think rather than being down about my problem with alcohol I will try to be positive and take the good out of what is going on around me.

I think this site is very helpful and will stay in touch with it this time. I was thinking about AA but I dont think it would suit me. I am definitely going to give it my best shot and I now declare my mood to be happy.

What a difference even one day makes....


xxx

[bjor88ste]

same old story

River0123,
You are doing great. Six days is no small task! Kudzu and Milk Thistle are good for your liver too, I am sure you know. Green Tea extract is great (I make a pot and put it in the fridge, I like it cold). A liver cleanse is perfect. My liver count was 540, don't know what it is now, my doctor in US told me that next thing - if I did not stop drinking (he was playing on my vanity, and to some extent it did work, just later) - my stomach would swell up and horrible things would happen. Well, it did to a friend of mine here in Europe. What irony, he is wealthy, has a great wine cellar that he can never again touch!
I hope your liver scores came out good, I really do.
The danger is always there, temptation is always lurking. Went out last night with an old friend. Knew it would happen, have known for a week. We do it in "style", Sancerre in buckets, literally. And today, this morning, I already want to drink the wine in my refrigerator. The difference today is that I don't.
With help of MWO, Topamax, the supplements, etc. I need to make AF for the next 4 days - my son is coming from South Africa for 14 days, my ex from USA for 1 week (the thought alone would make anyone want to drink), and I need to stay healthy for me and my son - for life. I try to stay AF 4-5 days a week, and only 2 glasses of wine 2-3 days. It really worked well for over a month. I can do it, but not yet when old habits come along. Maybe I will never be able to, but you are right, as long as we can pick up and move along.
maggymay, hang in there - I am on day one today. Gabby is right, is gets better and better and after a few days it feels great. It is just the first few days that can be tough. Good luck.

[Bandit]

same old story

Hi Again!

Hi Maggymay,
I think we posted each other round the time you first joined.
I have been trying to get to grips with my drinking since early this year. I have been doing well on the number of AF days but when I slip I seem to binge and drink even more than I did before. Had a really bad slip on Tuesday - started drinking early and had passed out by the time my husband even got in from work at 6.30. Worst thing was the kids were outside the front of our house playing and I don't remember anything from about 3.30pm on so I don't know what happened during those 3 hours. Anything could have happened (they are only 5 &3)
I had not even drank that much - I just don't seem to be able to handle alcohol in my body anymore without getting drunk quickly and massive hangovers the next day.
All of it has made me decide once and for all that I just have to give up AF for good. I know some can moderate but I just don't think I can. I even had a sober birthday yesterday, first time in about 20 years!
You can beat this thing once you decide you HAVE TO - there are others out there who have done it whether it is moderating or going AF.
Hang around and hopefully things will get better for us all.
:h
Bandit