I'm not sure what is happening, if it's the CD's, my own willpower, or just the fact that I accidentally almost killed myself last Tuesday night (major drinking, barely woke up in time to throw up, almost choking, etc.). I woke up in the morning with the most incredible hangover. I had listened to the CD's a few times, but this time I threw my headphones on and decided it had to work. Each day I thought, well, maybe I'll have one tonight. Instead I talked myself into trying one more day. And then one more day, and another. I never really understood those words before "one day at a time", but in my case it is helping. This morning when I listened to the hypnotic, I actually felt "swept away". Throughout the day those positive statements keep running through my head. I know I have a longggggg way to go, but want to tell you all that even if the CD's don't work completely to cure me, they sure are good at helping you put positive thoughts into your head.
When I got so sick the other night, I somehow cut my left wrist, probably crashing against the dresser on my way to be sick. I have a big gash there and I wish it would stay there forever. It reminds me of how close I came to really doing myself in. I bought a pretty bracelet for that wrist yesterday that says "Hope Lives in Your Heart". I feel happy looking at it, and hopeful for the first time in a long, long time...
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