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[savon19]

I've been in a state of shock (and stupor from AL) since last Mon. when my bf died suddenly. Suddenly, yesterday, I decided not to buy any more AL. So had a long, sober day.

It would be a great thing for me to stop drinking, but I wonder if it will last very long, under the circumstances. But I think his death was a kind of wake up call for me to look at my life (didn't like much of what I saw).

I'm also unemployed, so it's hard being alone all day. I have a few good friends who have talked on phone with me, emailed, but it's now to the point where I just can't bother them anymore. I did call a grief counseling place & hope to set up a time to talk to them in person sometime this week.

Maybe I answered my own question. Just take it one day at a time. Thanks for listening, and your suggestions are welcomed!

Sherry

[greeneyes]

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Sherry, I'm sorry to hear of your loss. Perhaps you could spend some time looking for employnment. Interviews may be difficult at the moment but you might consider evaluating what you want and look at options. Perhaps do some volunteer work? Try to tell yourself that stopping drinking WILL work and it WILL last long. Be your own cheerleader!:cheering:

We'll help! Keep in touch.

[louise]

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I responded to your other post. Yes, put a check in the box where it says remember me. And if it is a long post I always copy it onto my desktop just in case. (Have learned from experience)

[savon19]

Just posted long message I got logged out (ugh)

Dolphin, I saw your other post & wanted to reply here... (Already replied to Green Eyes - tx!)

You're right that I don't have anyone around me, so I feel extremely lonely. My good friends called & emailed, and I'm so grateful for that. I'm going to lunch today with a friend I haven't seen since it happened.

I'm having a hard time believing that it happened. I'm assuming it was a heart attack (although his family in CT - who I don't know, only talked a couple times on phone - haven't confirmed that). But he was on disability - had stent put in heart artery. He was 55. Big, strapping guy who appeared in good health. Even his doctors were optimistic.

I've had zero energy, can only seem to cat-nap. Nothing worse than waking in the middle of the night with no one to talk to... That's happened several times/night since it happened. Thank God for the internet!! At least I can write an email or just read until I feel like I can maybe get back to sleep.

It's very difficult. You will probably see me on here fairly often. I'm praying that I can manage all this without alcohol, without a job & without (mostly) friends physically around.

I'm not that strong. If I were, I probably would never have relied on alcohol so much in my life...

[savon19]

Just posted long message I got logged out (ugh)

louise;355402 wrote: I responded to your other post. Yes, put a check in the box where it says remember me. And if it is a long post I always copy it onto my desktop just in case. (Have learned from experience)

Oh, Louise - I'm sorry... It was you that responded on my other thread?? I'm confused.

Either way, everyone has been so nice to respond. This is a great site. A lot of help, understanding & compassion.

[savon19]

Just posted long message I got logged out (ugh)

Dolphin - I've only been AF one day... I DID spend the better part of last week in stupor. Even fell in my place, bruising rib.

But going through this has made me (HOPEFULLY) finally wake up and take stock. None of us know how much time we have. It would be a shame to not experience life the way it should be (being fully aware and Remembering things you've said, etc.).