holiday week-end

[1967]

Not to be cranky, but..... how does one adapt to abstinence on holidays when most are indulging in spirits?
The obvious response is just don't do it, I know this.

But I am being serious. I am an introvert so a general announcement that I suddenly don't drink each time I'm asked... "some wine Ms.?" is NEVER going to happen. "Oh come, on. Relax, just one."
No, thank you is the answer. I know, I know. I don't want to continue to avoid all social occasions. I need to go out more. Any thoughts on how to approach this? Maybe a mantra I repeat to myself?

If I say "maybe later", I will be continually asked until I give in I suppose.

There is a big beach party concert I want to go to tomorrow night. Tomorrow will be day 8. I'm not sure I am strong enough to handle it.

[jessie]

holiday week-end

Hi 1967,
I don't know your particular circumstances but the following works. I'm on anti- biotics or some meds that you can't take with Al or, I'm trying to lose weight or just simply, I don't feel like it now.
Good luck.
Jessie.

[1967]

holiday week-end

"I don't feel like it" seems the most honest response.
I live in a tiny community and if I make up an illness I'll have to stick to it.
Which, being my character what it is, I'll most likely forget and make an ass of myself. "There is nothing wrong w/me, don't be a jerk!"

I could say my tummy has been upset, which is true. Or, I'm training for a marathon, which would make everyone laugh. Or, I'm going to be in a local beauty pageant! That would be a really good one as I'd have to be of African or Latino decent. (I am caucasian).

At least I giggled a bit. Thanks.
Okay the excuse will be " Can't drink, sorry. I'm in training for the Ms. Caribbean/Latin America pageant in 2023." (also amusing as I hate to draw any attention to myself whatsoever).

[gabby1go]

holiday week-end

I love it! I am going to use the same excuse tonite! Seriously though, whatever works for you. I just get a soda or sparkling water with lime and typically no one says anything. If anyone says "nothing to drink?" I say "this is a drink". If I don't make a big deal out of it no one else does. If you feel like you have to say something, what you said is funny and it seems to fit your personality (the little that I have seen)! Try not to put too much pressure on yourself then you won't be as anxious about going to the party. I think it is kind of liberating being one of the few that is not drinking! I will wake up tomorrow feeling great and ready to face the day. Others won't. Good luck and let us know what happens. Gabby.

[My New Beginning]

holiday week-end

Simply stating 'no thank you, I've had enough' works for me.

[Doggygirl]

holiday week-end

1967, I am absolutely L-O-V-I-N' your sense of humor!!! If someone asks me why I'm not drinking alcohol in the future I'm going to say "I have to lose a few pounds for the Mrs. America Pageant!!" WHEE!! Thank you for that excellent idea!

On a more serious note, I was just thinking about the topic you raised and posted a bit on it in the Booze Busters weekly thread (in the Monthly Abs section). Sometimes, I really do think WE think people are far more worried about why we're not drinking than they really are. How often do YOU really spend time at a social event contemplating who is drinking alcohol, and who is not, and if not why not???? Of course this might vary depending on your social situations but in evaluation my own circles...the truth is I don't worry about it in others, and I suspect most if not all of them aren't worried about me.

"no thanks" is probably enough. And if not, then I love your idea of something outrageous instead!!! Thank you for that excellent idea!!!

The other thing I would mention is that for me anyway, I MUST MUST MUST put my sobriety first. That means in the early stages, I will avoid social situations where I think I might cave to AL. I dont' have to give up parties forever. I will just choose my social situations carefully making sure I can handle whatever I do without AL - and be successful 100% of the time. Some social events we can't avoid easily, but many we can if that's what it takes to stay on the wagon early on.

Have a great weekend!

DG
Day 44 AF

[1967]

holiday week-end

hey doggygirl... glad i made you laugh and provided some quality ideas for the future!

unfortunately, i do pay attention to who is, and who isn't, drinking. as there are certain folks who will be the first to remind me later that i had been drunk, behaving silly, or they were "worried about me getting home." all embarrassing.
actually, i tend to just be a silly drunk. i don't go out of my way to pick fights unless someone else starts it. (understand I am 5'1 & about 115 lbs (after breakfast).... who in their right mind would want to wrestle w/me anyhow?!!)

i really want to go to this beach party as there are some fantastic bands coming down from the states. normally the bands are noisy reggae, latin, "i don't know what kind of music band"... I can't tell if the music is good as i can't hear it anyway because the base is so loud!

this is music i should really enjoy. music i will want to remember... i'll think of it this way!

apart from this venue i totally agree... if it isn't an event i'll be disappointed to miss I'll just avoid potential trouble.

day 7 and counting....

[1967]

holiday week-end

I think I'll be okay tomorrow night for the beach concert. I learned today it is a by invitation only party. Which means it won't be that wild. If I go around 6:30 there will be people there I know so I shouldn't feel too awkward. I will just go easy, if I feel uncomfortable I will just disappear. Easy.
Today wasn't as hard as yesterday. Last night's sleep helped I think.

[SunDaisy]

holiday week-end

Tell them you're pregnant and then walk away, smiling to yourself.

[SunDaisy]

holiday week-end

You are making me laugh. I'm going to use some of these ones for sure.

[Doggygirl]

holiday week-end

Sleep is a HUGE help!! (er...at least it sounds like it is. I'll confirm if I get some!! )

1967, the most important thing is that every day, in everything you do, you MUST have a plan to not drink alcohol. For many of us, that means DANGER WILL ROBINSON if we are going to be around alcohol at a restaurant or other social function. For me, I have to make a VERY firm decision in advance that I won't drink alcohol - NO WAY. And I also need a good plan for what I WILL drink.

I generally try to avoid artificial sweeteners except Stevia, but lately I've been having Diet Lipton Tea in various flavors (Papaya Peach is good!! - these are my own "special" drinks that I don't have every day - just special occassions). If you haven't already, I would suggest trying out lots of different alcohol free beverages so you already have something AF in hand when you arrive at events (if you can) or know what you are doing to order.

You might hunt down some posts from endgame who like you, wanted to enjoy a local street festival during the early (week 1 even??) time of his quit. Like you, he wanted to enjoy the music!! He did it!! You will probably start to find that if you just tell your brain to "get over it" and stop fantasizing about booze, you might actually enjoy yourself MORE. There will be no need for any paranoia about getting too drunk and doing/saying something stupid, etc. etc. THAT is a good feeling!!

Anyway, I'm rambling on way too much when I SHOULD be getting some diet food such as celery sticks for dinner, and then getting a :bath2: and a facial in preparation for the Mrs. America Pageant. It's tomorrow, right?? No WONDER I won't consider drinking during dog training!!! :angelgirl:

Enjoy the party 1967!

PS - stop rubbin' in that 115 pounds after breakfast business pwetty pwease!

DG

[1967]

holiday week-end

Hehe! Now you are the one to make me laugh Doggiegirlie!

I was thinking... yeah... facial... nice idea! Opps... beauty contest... hm... gotcha!

Thanks for the advice on arriving prepared tomorrow evening. Many of my work mates, including bosses who are the party hosts, so I can't ditch the evening now. I was considering it this afternoon though. It is early in my "sobriety" to attempt a party.

I will carefully think through a plan of action for tomorrow and let you know what I come up with. If I nap in the afternoon I will be in better shape to stay on my toes. Often, when I am tired my guard falls and I make bad decisions. Also, I will plan to stay about 2 hours. I think I can behave for two hours, right?

Today I thought less about drinking. I really think stress is dangerous for me. I think it is a good idea to arrived w/a drink in hand. And, I'll make sure to eat before I arrive. Empty tummy/belly = trouble! One thing I am understanding from this site is that it is best I choose abstinence. What I want to stop is all this up and down nonsense.

[1967]

holiday week-end

oops... i think i posted this in the wrong place? time for "night night" and no... i've not been indulging in the fruit of the vine!
just sleepy, promise.

[Doggygirl]

holiday week-end

Sounds like you have an awesome plan!! I'm a lot like you - less likely to crave AL if I've eaten. I also do better if I set a time limit so I have an exit plan. That way if cravings get bad, there is a pre-determined end in sight.

Not sure if you've had a chance to read posts by reteacher aka Mary. The arriving with a drink already in hand - therefore being able to say "I'm all set" when that first drink is offered on arrival - is a BIG trick that she has mentioned a lot this summer.

YOU GO!! Sounds like a GREAT plan.

DG Future Mrs. America
Celebrating 45 Hangover Free Days

[vera-b]

holiday week-end

Hi 1967,

Very clever comebacks! I'm with Doggygirl -- you come first. Which means in my book: go to the beach party if it pleases you, but guard your sobriety like it's a vulnerable child who needs your protection. Others may wonder what you're up to (I can't wait to see my Mother and have to explain to her why I'm not pouring a tall one) but in the end, it's not their life, their sleep, their happiness. Have a wonderful weekend, and a Monday morning that is hangover-free!!

V.