calling all newbies
Wow, This is a good post.
I remember the last time I came home drunk and my granddaughter was there. She said "Granny, you've been drinking, haven't you?" OMG, this child is 6 years old!!
I said "No, I am just tired." But she was right. She was right. And no matter how much I want to make it right. She knew. A SIX YEAR OLD knew. Get it???
Damn.
Love,
Cindi
ASH;359767 wrote: Hi all - I am new - I posted a few weeks ago but sort of lost my way for a few weeks but now am back and feeling pretty good today. The last two weeks were so bad, up and down, and feeling completely out of control of myself. Not that I haven't felt completely out of control for the past 20 years, but this was worse because I was trying to moderate and the more I slipped up, the more I beat myself up. Something changed two days ago - I had limited myself to two light beers for the day (I'm a red wine lover and drank about 1 -2 bottles a night). I was on the phone with my neighbor talking about something and I burst out laughing and was giggling like a school girl. I hung up and my 8 year old sweet son came up to me and said - WOW, you are so happy!!! I said "what"? he said, you were giggling and so happy and he imitated me (exaggerated) and I said "wow", was that okay with you? And he said YES, I LOVE IT MOMMY, you never laugh anymore and you always used to laugh!! WHOA!!!!!!!!!! I just about lost it but kept my cool in front of him and then it hit me how I've been so miserable and down and grumpy all the time. I decided to go to the gym last night, worked out, and then had a 64 calorie light beer around 9pm to relax. I had another at 11:00 and went to bed. I felt fantastic when I got up!!! I realize this is only the beginning but I truly feel like I can do this for the first time EVER!!! I know there will be many ups and downs but yesterday, I DID NOT stop at the store to get a bottle of wine (first time in I don't know how many years) and I fought the urge to have anything more to drink. Two HUGE steps for me. I wanted to share this because I know there are so many people out there in exactly the same boat and I wanted you to know that if I can make it even to this first baby step, YOU CAN TOO. We all understand and are there to help as I've received so much help just reading all of your wonderful threads and extremely supportive comments!!! This is such a wonderful site!! I am so grateful I stumbled upon it!! HANG IN THERE EVERYONE!!!! ASH :thanks:
I remember the last time I came home drunk and my granddaughter was there. She said "Granny, you've been drinking, haven't you?" OMG, this child is 6 years old!!
I said "No, I am just tired." But she was right. She was right. And no matter how much I want to make it right. She knew. A SIX YEAR OLD knew. Get it???
Damn.
Love,
Cindi
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