It's Lonely Being a Wino

[WaitingToExhale]

poof

[mwo2]

It's Lonely Being a Wino

I'm sorry you are so down. It is hard. I too find myself realizing the aloneness of myself because of the choices I have made.

But, we are now making new choices and we can create outside time. Little things will come up and you will be able to do them. For now just keep typing.

I went downtown to the Fourth of July parade by myself this year, because I was AF. Ran into someone I know but don't spend social time with, well I am going to watch her this weekend at the street fair and I bet I will see someone else I know.

Every moment that you are working on being AF gets you closer to another positive thing.

Day 11 for me, ups and downs but ridin it out.

You can do it!

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

It's Lonely Being a Wino

Waiting,

Realize that a lot of people are in your situation and they are totally sober. This doesn't mean I want you to keep drinking, I just want you to love yourself, OK? I think there is a reason you started drinking in the first place and maybe therapy could help with that, long term therapy. It's just a hunch I have, no more, no less.

You have a cyber friend in me and lots and lots of hugs :l


Myheart

[louise]

It's Lonely Being a Wino

Sorry you are feeling so lonely right now. We do tend to let everything else go when we are absorbed in AL. But you are doing something about that so I'm sure you will be able to either reconnect with people or make new friends. Can you call your sister and ask for support? Tell her what you are trying to do?

[keeta]

It's Lonely Being a Wino

Waiting...

Even alone, if you cheat, YOU will know...and you will be your hardest critic, and be the one to suffer the consequences.

I too, even though NOT alone, isolate and internalize everything, so I pretend I am harming no one...but I am...me...and you are...YOU.

YOU matter....you are worth it...we are.

[Seacailin]

It's Lonely Being a Wino

I am also pretty much alone. My two grown children live with me, but they are hardly ever around. I have had so many opportunities to drink this week, but I have to remember the aftermath. It is really taking a toll on my health. I am going to start attending AA meetings today. I have to make some sober friends. Don't know if that would help u, but I cannot continue to isolate. I did the same things when I was drinking; not answer the phone, hide from the world. I am going out to face the world today, including my boss, who is pissed at me. Best wishes to you. Stick around.:l:l:l
I actually have plans with my Sis on Saturday and she would Never hang out with me if I was drinking.

[KBCE]

It's Lonely Being a Wino

I'm so sorry you are lonely. We are always here to talk. Things WILL get better!

[LVT25]

It's Lonely Being a Wino

:l:l:l:l:l

Sending hugs the only way I can--hope you can "feel" how much we care!

Print copies of your signature quote and put up around your home and in your car, etc..it will help to remind you why you want to be af. Life will get better!:h

[WaitingToExhale]

It's Lonely Being a Wino

Thank you!

Well, I DID IT! I actually made it through the evening AF. Wow, I am so pleased with myself this morning! And to be honest, a bit shocked too. And even this morning there was not that pang of depression when I first opened my eyes. So I guess this poison may actually be getting a bit out of my system.

mwo2 - Yes! I have to learn to once again do things alone to get back "out there". I actually went to luncheon with a new group meeting of Women In Business yesterday afternoon. 36 amazing women and it was great. Funny side note, I was afraid I would order a glass of wine, but didn't as everyone was drinking ice tea and the such ... EXCEPT for one gal. I watched her drink 3 glasses of red wine in about and hour and a half and it started at Noon. Weird to watch with a clear head. She had that puffy face and baggy eyes we all know so well, and the skin, etc. God, I saw SOMUCH of myself in her ... and ordered another ice tea! LOL And Congrats on 11 days!!!

MyHeart- I wish I could figure out why I drink. I've been a heavy drinker for I think almost 30 years ... so I've forgotten the reason. My Dad is an alcoholic so I blame part of it on the gene pool. But I think you are right about long term therapy for now. I have another session next Tuesday and we are starting to move from my "relationship issues" to my drinking issues. Thanks for the words.

louise - For now I am afraid to call my sister. She has heard my promises before and I have fallen back down. I feel like I need toREALLY get under control before I can announce such a thing to her. We're not real close ... at times I think she almost takes glee in my life upsets, as sick as that sounds. I had not heard much from her for almost the entire 9 months I was with this guy and feeling SO HAPPY ... then a friend of mine called her and told about how he dumped me. She called me right away. That was weeks ago and it's radio silence again now. But it's on my To DO list

keeta - Its what got me through last night! I can't believe I actually DID IT! A total tough day AF ...

Seacailin - I too need to make some sober friends. I just couldn't get comfortable with AA when I tried a few years back. But I am certain there are others out there. Thank God there are cyber friends here for now. Thank you!

one2many - Oh sweet lady! Your post made me cry, but in a good way. I KNOW it will get better, and to be honest as I move baby steps ahead, I can almost see he was not the right for me anyways. Still does not stop the hurt, and I so know you are relating. I most certainly do NOT think you are interfering ...I feel blessed that you took the time to tell me of your story. And don't beat yourself up too bad about the 2 glasses of wine ... I think we were in about the same spot and we're taking those first steps. I'll prop you up if you'll prop me up in the tough moments? And BTW, I have family in Dublin that I may be visiting in the fall! Hugs back at cha.

Thank you also everyone else. This site has been a God send for me.

Thankfully, I have a really good buddy coming in from AZ later this evening for a few days. He is my best bud and I was finally honest with him about what I was doing and he was TOTALLY supportive. He's a social drinker, but I know he will kick my butt for the next few days to get out of this funk, and keep the drinking under control.

Love,
WTE

[Carmac]

It's Lonely Being a Wino

You do have someone....you! And that's a pretty important person. You can do it.....just keep coming back to MWO.....

[Accountable for Me]

It's Lonely Being a Wino

I, too, am sorry you are alone. My drinking escalated HUGE when I lived alone. I would come home from work, feed my precious kitty a treat and crack a bottle of wine. Drank the whole thing.

No one knew for a LOOONG time. By the time they found out I had a real big problem.

Try to keep telling yourself you are WORTHY of being healthy and happy. Because you are.

[Evie.Lou]

It's Lonely Being a Wino

Your not alone!!!!you have us...We can't phyisically give you a hug but we certianly can give you an emotional HUG!!!!We can help you kick ALs BUTT out of your life and then there will be plenty of room for a healthy relationship to come in...:l:l:l

[mwo2]

It's Lonely Being a Wino

Congrats on your AF day and super morning

type to ya later

[Cinders]

It's Lonely Being a Wino

I posted this on another thread, however, it applies here, too.

Shoot, I would rather give booze up than a lot of things in my life, yet I concentrated for so long on how awful it was to give up the booze.

Now, understand, I fight this every day. Every day. That is why I am going to Lenair in August. BUT, if Lenair doesn't work, I will just trudge on and fight it every day because if I don't, I will die. AND, I will lose my grandkids, my children and my husband.

Believe it or not, they do not want to lose me, either.

Okay, waxing philosophical here. But, think about it.

A few weeks of torture (yes, it can take a few weeks to get back to "normal") is worth a lifetime of loving and caring.

Cindi

ps Even if it is just self-love. I hated myself drinking. I love the sober Cindi

I LOVE the sober Cindi. So much better than the drunk Cindi. So much. You have no idea.

Self-love is so important. If you do not love yourself, how can you expect someone else to love you?

Sounds trite but isn't.

Hang in there. Fight this battle and win. YOU ARE WORTH IT!! We all are.

Worry about this battle for a while. Don't worry about being with others, worry about truly caring and loving yourself. I do, now. Truly. I am worth the time, effort, excruciating effort it takes. I truly am and SO ARE YOU.

Love,
Cindi

[Larisa]

It's Lonely Being a Wino

WTE,

Your life sounds a lot like mine. Those bottles of wine have made my life very small. I've gotten the topa and done the rest of the program and have (miraculously, after about 7 years of no success) gotten 38 days AF. Even though I live alone and am kind of a natural hermit, I am relishing in the sober time - reading books, gardening, doing whatever the hell I want. It's nice to decide when to go to bed instead of passing out - feels like being a princess by comparison. It's nice to answer the phone and remember what I said. And when I get tempted to drink - because I still do - it just makes me feel horrible, thinking about being back where I was about a month ago, red-faced and confused and sick. I don't know why I felt compelled to respond to you except maybe just to say, I don't have anyone else to do this for, and it's still worth it - it is SOOOO worth it! In fact, most people on here aren't doing it for anyone else anyway, even if they have other people in their lives that benefit from their sobriety.

Sending you good vibes - you can beat this asshole demon!!!