FAILED AGAIN!!!

[Seto]

Hi all
I have to admit it - I only managed 2 days AF, how crap is that. Started on Sunday night and was ok, Monday was soooo hard - I was agigtated, snappy and just wanted the night over, then come Tuesday I was begging my husband with the "just a couple of glasses" line. I have such a big problem and no willpower. I hide bottles of wine from my hubby as he controls what I drink! I feel so sneaky and deceiving. Anyway last night I drank again. My excuse was I was "celebrating" after landing a brilliant job. I had 1 1/2 bottles of wine. I feel so alone with my problem as no one else knows how bad it is. I have been to the docs but they just suggested I cut down gradually - yeah right! Can anyone recommend any of the supplements for craving? Which is the best one and if they actually do work? I really really need some help. SetoXXX

[Seacailin]

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Stop beating yourself up

You are not getting the help that you need yet. My doctor recommended the Campral. There are also herbal supps for cravings, check the homepage/healthstore. Just keep on trying and stick around. It is not easy. You will get it.:l

[Evie.Lou]

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Failure is only posible when you stop trying,stop reaching out...that is not what i am hearing from you.You are activly looking for help so give yourself credit!!!!Have you read MWO?There are many different ideas,supps.meds.plans of action.It will help you get the tools together that you need to beat this.you can do this and you will find the extra help you need here.....LOL

[Seto]

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YES YOUR RIGHT HAVE TO STOP BEATING MYSELF UP AND BEAT AL UP INSTEAD!

Just read back my first post and decided I have to stop being so NEGATIVE and start to be more positive. Set backs can be part of the recovery process can't they. Ok so all I have to do now is keep busy and start day 1 again. Thanks guysXXX

[river0123]

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Seto,
I am having much success so far with the supps & cd's, I would definitely recommend everything outlined on page 118 of the book (PM me if you need a copy). I am on my first round of trying to go AF for 30 days and right now am starting day 16. I am AMAZED at how great I feel and the cravings aren't too tough to handle. Keeping busy at the witching hour has been a life saver. My biggest problem is a very short temper with hubby, but I think that is because he continues to drink heavily around me. I started with just kudzu and L-glutamine, now I take them all and couldn't be more pleased.
Congratulations on landing the great job! Maybe celebrate with a new outfit for your first day - or SHOES! who doesn't love shoes???

[4tops]

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KEEP TRYING. Sounds like you do need better help...a different doctor? How dumbass is the one you have...just keep trying to cut back? Don't give up. That's success in itself.

[Mike R.]

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The best sup I know is determination!
Take a few days off work and go to a profesional detox, they'll know what to do.
But don't do like me and drink while you're in detox!!! LOL
I would sneek outside for a smoke and in NY their's a deli on every corner, so I'ld buy a couple beers and drink them both in one gulp...BAD mistake!
And no you're not alone. We're all here cause of the same thing. I'm pritty sure that at one point 100% of us were hideing bottels from the ones who realy care. I actualy used to hide a bottle of vodka behind the dupster and use walking the dogs as an excuse... an excuse to keep killing myself and f@ck up my life. Make the decision, and fight for it! You're fighting for your life!!!
You can do it... I'm on day 4 AF and I used to drink a beer instead of coffee....if I was out of vodka...
We're all here for ya... use the chat too, it realy helps.

[Cinders]

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Seto,

Have you read the book? It is really worth the read.

I hated the hiding and lying, too. Big time. Not in my nature and there I was, hiding and lying. OMG???

RJ's book was written about moderation but MANY of us can't. It is that simple. I think when we get our brain chemistry and mental condition in a certain place, moderation is no longer possible.

However, I think about that a lot and I wonder, what am I giving up? Anything important?

Umm. noooooo. I would rather give booze up than my grandkids. I would rather give booze up than my children. I would rather give booze up than my husband.

Shoot, I would rather give booze up than a lot of things in my life, yet I concentrated for so long on how awful it was to give up the booze.

Now, understand, I fight this every day. Every day. That is why I am going to Lenair in August. BUT, if Lenair doesn't work, I will just trudge on and fight it every day because if I don't, I will die. AND, I will lose my grandkids, my children and my husband.

Believe it or not, they do not want to lose me, either.

Okay, waxing philosophical here. But, think about it.

A few weeks of torture (yes, it can take a few weeks to get back to "normal") is worth a lifetime of loving and caring.

Cindi

ps Even if it is just self-love. I hated myself drinking. I love the sober Cindi

[LookingToGrow]

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Well put sober Cindi! What is Lenair?

[Ripple]

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its okay..

One feels like a failure the first few days after the fact!!! 'try' NOT to let it happen again..is the key :keyhole: avoid going through the torture....ull one feels starting over and over and over!!! ullull:bonkers:

[Rocky]

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Lost a skrimish...but do not give up

[Cinders]

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Rocky!!!

So good to see you again.

Please stay with us. We have lots of skirmishes to fight but one war and we SHALL win.

Okay?

Love,
Cindi

[Margoms]

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cindi;361151 wrote:

However, I think about that a lot and I wonder, what am I giving up? Anything important?

Umm. noooooo. I would rather give booze up than my grandkids. I would rather give booze up than my children. I would rather give booze up than my husband.

Shoot, I would rather give booze up than a lot of things in my life, yet I concentrated for so long on how awful it was to give up the booze.

Now, understand, I fight this every day. Every day. That is why I am going to Lenair in August. BUT, if Lenair doesn't work, I will just trudge on and fight it every day because if I don't, I will die. AND, I will lose my grandkids, my children and my husband.

Believe it or not, they do not want to lose me, either.

Okay, waxing philosophical here. But, think about it.

A few weeks of torture (yes, it can take a few weeks to get back to "normal") is worth a lifetime of loving and caring.

Cindi

ps Even if it is just self-love. I hated myself drinking. I love the sober Cindi

Cindi, What a wonderful, positive message. We need to focus on what we're gaining (self respect, family relationships) when we give up our addiction to AL and not just :what we lose in giving it up. Very encouraging. With your attitude I know you'll make it!:thanks:

[Rocky]

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Very powerful way to look at what is worth loosing...Thanks

[CS04]

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Seto,
I have missed your posts and wondered how you were doing. Your posts have touched me since I also have a small child. It is so hard. I have been struggling too but almost ready to get back on track. Keep coming back and sharing your thoughts. I know we can do this.