Going to start a journal

[Chelle12]

well.. I caved.
Lasted AF til 1.45pm... nearly 3 hours past my usual first drink.

Ive decided to log things in a journal.. how long I lasted til, what the 'turning point' was for me to pour a drink and how many I drank that particular day.

I think writing down the 'reasons' for reaching for the bottle will help. I can read through my entries weekly and try and avoid particular situations if necessary. Also, with the support of my fiance, we can sit down and look back at the week.
Being honest with him and going through the journal together should really help.

Chelle.

[Carmac]

Going to start a journal

Chelle - Excellent idea. I have an electronic journal on my laptop and try to write (key phrase "try") everyday. I use it to not just talk about getting/staying AF but just about things in life in general. Helps me to think through stuff. I don't share my journal though....way too personal.

Good luck!

[LookingToGrow]

Going to start a journal

Before you know it that journal will become your wedding planner

[Chelle12]

Going to start a journal

I so hope I can walk down that aisle a non-drinker and non-smoker.

I want my only vice to be my love of Toblerones, this time next year!

Chelle.

[LookingToGrow]

Going to start a journal

Ah, a summer wedding Where will it be?

[Chelle12]

Going to start a journal

BTW, picked my son up from school at midday as he's finished for the summer and read his report. He was slipping in subjects like maths/english and said that he was 'easily distracted'. I said that he had to try and not become distracted, to which he replied that it was like me not having another cigarette...
couldnt respond to that.
felt a complete hypocrite.
Hence... today's excuse for pouring the first glass at 1.45 this afternoon

[Evie.Lou]

Going to start a journal

Keeping a written record of how you are feeling should be very helpful in letting you understand your triggers and how to side step them...it also can be a focal point about the ideas of the life you want to create...What a great idea!!!!:thanks::thanks::thanks:

[Chelle12]

Going to start a journal

LookingToGrow;361165 wrote: Ah, a summer wedding Where will it be?

yes, a summer wedding
Im in the UK, in North England and am having a church wedding.. very traditional.
I actually asked him last night (when I confessed to the drinking) whether he still wanted to marry me, in between sobs. His reply was that he was never going to leave me.
I feel so lucky, yet soooo stupid for doing what Im doing.

[LookingToGrow]

Going to start a journal

Chelle:
You are my friend and I don't have stupid friends so stop that nonsense. ALL of us have moments and triggers. Hell, if we didn't we would not be here. Get that journal going if you haven't already. Read over it everytime you encounter a trigger. Your man loves you. Stop worrying about him leaving you. Start your plans for being a good wife to him Remember, all good plans take time to implement and practice makes perfect

[LemonLover]

Going to start a journal

Well said LTG....

Chelle, you keep your chin up and go forward. You're in the right direction and you have a supportive man who loves you. The journal idea sounds like a good one - I think I will join you.

LL

[Carmac]

Going to start a journal

Chelle - Please just sit and write. I think you will find it VERY therapeutic. Set a timer (15-30 mins say) and just write. You can do it!

[vera-b]

Going to start a journal

Chelle,

Addictions are so hard. When you can get a handle on yours (the journal is a GREAT idea), you'll model success to your son. What we do makes a much greater impact than what we say. We may be able to fool ourselves, but kids are way too perceptive! They also have memories like a hawk, so if you start making promises while drunk (and then don't remember them - I speak from shameful experience) they really begin to wonder if you're off your rocker, and dismiss you as irrelevant. We're all rooting for you -- you can, and will do it.

V.

[Chelle12]

Going to start a journal

Thanks everyone
Woke up feeling terrible this morning. Read my journal from yesterday... Id gotten to 7 glasses of wine by the end of the day.
Today is another day though.. and will try once more to stay AF.
Onwards and Upwards.

[Carmac]

Going to start a journal

Yeah, Chelle.....not for the AL but for the writing. PLease write again today...even if it is something as simple as 10 things you like about your life TODAY and 10 things you don't like. Then, maybe tomorrow, you could work on an entry as to the "whys". Eventually, you can hopefully get to triggers, etc. plus work towards ditching the bad 10 and really enjoying the "good 10". Sounds like its a lot but just take it a day at a time......meanwhile, don't beat yourself up. You are trying and that is the first step.

[allowingtoo]

Going to start a journal

keep a gratitude journal. you know - like Oprah. I realized this morning when I woke up I was so grateful I didn't stink of old wine like I used to. I look down at my stomach and I don't look like I'm 8 months pregnant anymore, just 4 months now . When I'm tempted - I just go for the Bowflex and do some scrunches till I give out. I'm going to have to start a journal just to remember what amount of Topa I've taken and when

Really - write down GOOD stuff. Not just bad stuff. Keep your chin up.

Did you know that alcoholics are some of the most truly spiritual people? They drink because the gap between the divine and reality is wide and the alcohol helps numb it? That's why AA works for a lot of people - it forces the religion back into them.