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MY MARRIAGE HAD ENDED AND I'M FEELING SO LOST AND LONELY

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    #1

    MY MARRIAGE HAD ENDED AND I'M FEELING SO LOST AND LONELY

    Hi everyone
    Thanks for all your support recently. How can I put this, my marriage has finished. It is because of his controlling ways - NOTHING TO DO WITH ALCOHOL MAY I ADD. Just with everything. We come from different cultures and his is completely different to mine and I just can't hack it anymore. His ways have gotten worse since I had my little ones and if he had his way I would be home all the time cooking and cleaning for him and every other member of his family. I am only 31 with two beautiful babies and I don't have any friends. I gave up everything to move abroad with him and now 10 years later this. I have my mum and dad but they have their own lives, my sister has a very busy job and my only other sister lives away. He told me today his family come before me - HOW NICE IS THAT TO HEAR!! Anyhow I'm not looking for sympathy cos I am better than that, just some kind words to help me through this. After he left yesterday I strangely didn't want to drink as it suddenly dawned on me that I am fully responsible for my little ones and therefore didn't touch a drop. I am proud but I am feeling so down its unbelievable. Waiting to exhale - you are not alone, I can understand how you feel. Come on guys help me smile a little. SetoXXX
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    #2
    MY MARRIAGE HAD ENDED AND I'M FEELING SO LOST AND LONELY

    Seto, my marriage has ended as well as he was never there for me, or for our child. I was so very tired of his job being number 01 and us behind the line. I moved abroad for his career as well, I was lonely all the time raising our child on my own. I had enough and left and moved back home. He is there plugging away at his job. It's been hard starting from scratch again, but I am so much happier without him. It does get easier...it really does, but the divorce will not be easy...if you want to PM me please feel free.

    ((((hugs)))) to you

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      #3
      MY MARRIAGE HAD ENDED AND I'M FEELING SO LOST AND LONELY

      Hi Seto,
      I'm sorry your marriage is ending. That is never easy, especially with children. I know I waited quite awhile to move up the totem pole on my husband's priority list--but it happened, thank God. It will take time to heal, and it's too bad you don't have anyone close, but you know there are lots of supportive friends here.:h
      Hang in there, ok?:l
      _______________
      NF since June 1, 2008
      AF since September 28, 2008
      DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
      _____________
      :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
      5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
      _______________
      The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

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        #4
        MY MARRIAGE HAD ENDED AND I'M FEELING SO LOST AND LONELY

        Seto, So sorry your husband isn't helping you with this struggle. Maybe with him gone, you can focus more on yourself and your beautiful children.

        This site is so helpful and there are a lot of good posts that have helped me - hopefully you can find some comfort here.

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          #5
          MY MARRIAGE HAD ENDED AND I'M FEELING SO LOST AND LONELY

          I am sorry Seto. I am also divorced. I was lost and lonely for awhile, but now I am happy not to be married. Good for u for not drinking. You will get through this and be happier in the long run.
          "Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)

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            #6
            MY MARRIAGE HAD ENDED AND I'M FEELING SO LOST AND LONELY

            Hi Seto,
            So sorry to hear your marriage is over, but you are obviously a very strong person in that you havent taken to the drink.
            Be Proud of yourself.
            Today, is the first day of the rest of your life, and Im sure it will all work out right for you.

            I always say, 'things happen for a reason', and although it may not seem quite like that at the moment, you will definitely look back in time to come and realise your life is so much better than it would have been, if you were still with him.
            Lots of Love, and Hugs, and the Very Best of Wishes,
            Chelle.
            ?I am playing all the right notes... But not necessarily in the right order.....?

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              #7
              MY MARRIAGE HAD ENDED AND I'M FEELING SO LOST AND LONELY

              Hi again
              Just come down from hoovering upstairs and checked to see if any of you had replied and of course you had. This is a great place to be part of and your replies have made me smile a little. My husband has packed his stuff up and left and it was so weird seeing a half empty house. I will have to make it my own with my kids. Well I'm off to pick the little ones up from the creche. Will be on later. Thanks. SetoXX

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                #8
                MY MARRIAGE HAD ENDED AND I'M FEELING SO LOST AND LONELY

                Hi Seto,
                I am sorry to hear that your husband has left you and your kids on your own. I think his comment though about the family says a lot - are you and the kids not his family now?
                My husband and I married each other despite our families, we are both from very different backgrounds and although nothing was ever said directly we both know neither side really approved. He is from quite a rough background, left school early etc., mine are all very educated, successful and quite frankly snooty as hell. But we became our own family and despite rough times lately we are still together.
                There is something better out there for you and your kids.
                Wish you all the best.
                Bandit
                There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.

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                  #9
                  MY MARRIAGE HAD ENDED AND I'M FEELING SO LOST AND LONELY

                  Seto we are here for you. It is so normal to feel the way you are feeling. It will get better I promise.


                  Sammys

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                    #10
                    MY MARRIAGE HAD ENDED AND I'M FEELING SO LOST AND LONELY

                    That is painful,for sure!!!! You still have a long life ahead of you and with Soberiety will come purpose...Try and find a local support group that is near.Spend lots of time with us....We will get thru this together!!!!
                    sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

                    Comment

                      #11
                      MY MARRIAGE HAD ENDED AND I'M FEELING SO LOST AND LONELY

                      I, too, am divorced and have been so for 11 years. I raised 3 kids initially on my own, then he came around, realized what he was missing and became a great Dad. I just look at it that we were not meant to be married but again, must say...he has been a great Dad. We now have 2 out of college and one with a year left...all doing very well. Things do get better......stay strong!
                      Happy to be AF Since 9.13.08

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                        #12
                        MY MARRIAGE HAD ENDED AND I'M FEELING SO LOST AND LONELY

                        Hi Seto,

                        Can't say as I fully appreciate your circumstance having not been there, but wanted you to know that regardless of your circumstances, you are important - you matter - and everyone here wants to see you happy and sober. My prayers are with you and your little children.

                        V.

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                          #13
                          MY MARRIAGE HAD ENDED AND I'M FEELING SO LOST AND LONELY

                          Break-ups are really really hard no matter what the circumstances. But here is a positive thought: your beautiful babies can grow up with your values. Skip the controlling stuff. Hope that helps. Hope everything works out for the best.
                          Drinking has been my hobby for several years now. It's time to get a new hobby

                          Comment

                            #14
                            MY MARRIAGE HAD ENDED AND I'M FEELING SO LOST AND LONELY

                            I have been there and done that. My advice is that soonere than later try to find groups of people who are interested in the same things you are to help with the lonliness. I have been divorced for five years, and I took the wrong path of going out with my drinking buddies, which turned into drinking alone at home. I just found a great site that is available in many cities, meetup.com There are meetups for all kinds of interests---book clubs, movie clubs, scrapbooking, hiking.....the list goes on and on. This site might not be available where you live, but there may be something similar. If not, you can always create your own site.
                            The great thing about the age we live in is that we have resources that generations before us did not have. Although this is true, I feel that we tend to still go into hiding and try to deal with it on our own. We do not need to do this. Reach out and find the life that you have always wanted. It is right there at your fingertips.
                            Goal 1: Today
                            Goal 2: Tomorrow

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                              #15
                              MY MARRIAGE HAD ENDED AND I'M FEELING SO LOST AND LONELY

                              I am so sorry to hear this. Hugs to you
                              AF since Jan. 1, 2008 .... It all began right here


                              Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice, you made it now.


                              (from the Movie "Once")

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